The notion of ego and fighting for your corner when it comes to your beliefs is something that is instilled in all of us, and that’s why it’s hard to be okay with being wrong. In this episode, I’m teaching you why being wrong doesn’t necessarily mean anything if you can stand in your truth with confidence.
This is going to be a bit of a mind-bender and you might feel the need to resist what I’m about to share, but if you do the work to challenge your old beliefs and try this new one out, I promise this will change your life!
Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hey guys, how are you? I think that this episode is going to go live after I get back from Florida, so I’m hoping I’m tan and totally sunned out by then. I’m super excited about my trip, but I was just thinking, I was like, “Oh my gosh, I forgot what I was going to talk about.” Which is hilarious, but I will say so far out of all of these episodes, I haven’t used any notes.
So it’s kind of cool because I come to this recording session, or whatever you want to call it, just having kind of the idea of what I want to talk about and no other notes than that because this is what I do on a daily basis and I also know for myself that if I have too many notes and if I get really attached to what I’m supposed to say, then it eliminates my passion and my heart and my soul because I’m so attached to what I think I’m supposed to be saying or the words I’m supposed to be using.
And I think that’s been what’s so cool about this podcast and all of your feedback from my ratings and reviews section, holler, thank you guys for doing that, and just the feedback that I’ve gotten in terms of how you guys can like, hear and feel my passion in the recordings and in the episodes, and I feel like I can do that when I truly speak from my heart and from my soul. And I think for me personally, just having too many notes kind of sucks that right out of it.
So I was getting on to record this and I was like, wait a minute, what am I going to talk about? Because also I have so many things. I have a whole notes section in my phone of all of the podcast episodes that I want to talk about and the realizations that I have on a weekly basis.
So there’s just so many things that I want to share with you guys and I’m just so excited about it. But I just remembered what I’m going to talk about today. So I was raised as an athlete from the time that I was in kindergarten I played traveling sports, I played traveling soccer, and then I went on to play traveling volleyball and you know, went to Russia and went all across the country to play volleyball.
And I think back to it and I’m like, I have been bred to be an athlete, which has been amazing and again, I’ve talked about this before and I share this on social media. I learned so much through this experience and it has helped me become the woman that I am today and be so committed and be so determined and disciplined, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
But with everything that we learn and we’re taught and the belief systems that we build over our entire life, I think for every amazing thing, for every positive, there can also be an equal and opposite negative that kind of goes along with it. And something that I’ve really seen come to light is this competitiveness that was built into me from a very young age of being a champion and having to work to be the best has also created a space within me that I’ve had to work really, really hard on over the past two years of my growth and my transformation and my coaching of analyzing and working through this idea that there is only one best.
And that if you’re not the best that it means something about you, or just that there is only one right and that if one person’s right everyone has to be wrong. And I think it all kind of stems and comes from the same place, and I think as a society, we have kind of built all of these belief systems and the way that we market and put things on social media, the way that commercials are built and all of that, it’s all about giving you the opportunity to be better or the best or competing to – whether it’s get attention or win the guy or the girl, or get the job, and move your way up, and giving us the inspiration and the desire to take action on these thing in order to be the best.
And while I think that’s awesome and it can drive you forward in a really powerful way and has driven me forward in a really powerful way, I’ve realized that it actually comes from this mindset of lack. It actually comes from this place of – or can come from this place of that there’s not enough to go around, that there’s only one best, and if you’re not the best, then that means something about you.
And that has really just impacted how I’ve shown up and how I’ve competed for whatever it is, and it really doesn’t serve me anymore. And – because I believe in abundance, I believe in choosing love and abundance, and if I believe that there’s only one best, then that means that everything else is less than, at least in my previous thought process.
So I’ve been doing a lot of work on building my belief in abundance, and building my belief that there is enough to go around, and just because there’s one amazing person at this doesn’t mean anything less for anybody else, or that someone’s the best at x, y z, doesn’t mean that other people can’t be the best at x, y, z. And it’s been really powerful for me and my business and my clients and my own personal growth.
And it’s been unraveling a lot of these things that I’ve built for so long in my life and have believed to be truth. And so it got me thinking about this idea of right and wrong, and I think that a lot of times as human beings we fight to be right, and to me it really comes down to our protection of our ego and protection of ourselves, that if we’re not right what does that mean about us, right? Does that mean we’re wrong?
And does that mean we lose? Does that mean we’re less than? And I’ve been doing a ton of work on that and I’ve realized that being right doesn’t necessarily mean that someone else has to be wrong, or in order for you to be right that someone else has to be wrong.
I’m going to say that again because I think it’s really powerful. In order for me to be right, it doesn’t mean that somebody else has to be wrong, even if they have the complete opposite view. I know, right? Mind blowing. Some of you guys are probably like, “What?”
But I just want to challenge you to question this belief system because now when I use the word right, what I mean by that or what I see that as is truth for me. And what I’ve realized is what is truth for me and standing in that truth for myself doesn’t mean that other people with opposite truths or opposing truths have to be wrong for me to be right in my truth and for me to stand powerfully in my truth.
And it’s really set me free in a really powerful way to see that if I stand strong in my truth and it’s true for me, somebody else can also be in their truth and have it be very different. And that I can still see their truth with open-mindedness, with compassion, without judgment, and see in their mind their truth is also true and right to them. And that doesn’t mean anything about my truth or who I am or how I show up, and it doesn’t mean anything about them and how they show up in their truth.
Now, I want you guys to think about how much you would free yourself if you didn’t have a need to be right in your way of being, or your way of doing things. And this actually kind of came from a conversation I was having about – with someone about how if we want people to accept our truths and come to the table with open minds and not lump us into a category, whatever that category is, we also have to be open and willing and accepting of their truth.
And it doesn’t mean we have to believe it to be true for us, but it means that we have to show up to it with an open mind and compassion because we have to be who we want others to show up as. We have to be the reflection of what we want people to receive us as. And I just realized in that moment that if I want people to accept me in my truth of who I am, of what I represent, of what I believe to be right, that I also have to show up in that space for them.
And that just pushed against this belief that I had for so long that, “But wait, if I’m right, if my truth is true, then theirs has to be false for me to be right,” and that’s not the case at all. And it doesn’t mean that you have to support their truth, it doesn’t mean that you have to believe their truth, it doesn’t mean that you have to – whatever it is, towards their truth. It means that you get to stand in your truth and they get to stand in yours. And that is okay.
And that doesn’t mean that you can’t set boundaries, right? Like, I’m going to give kind of a harsh example here, but let’s say it’s someone truth to believe that it’s okay to hit people. In their mind, that’s their truth. And in my mind, my truth is that you’re kind to people and that you have compassion, that you would never lay your hands on anyone, and that’s my truth.
Just because I can see that their truth is true for them, which is crazy, and I’ve had to do a lot of work to think about that, doesn’t mean that I have to believe that it’s true for me and that I have to allow it, or have to think that it’s okay. It’s this ability to have compassion for them that I really believe that human beings in our minds, we are all doing the very best we can based on what we’ve gotten and what we have built in our minds, and that doesn’t mean though that I have to let somebody put their hands on me.
That means that I can stand in my truth and say that this is not okay, and I’m always able to set a boundary and say, that can be your truth, I can have compassion for you, and believe that you’re doing the very best you can. But you cannot touch me, you cannot hit me, and I’m able and capable to set a boundary with that and stand in that truth.
I also take self-integrity to a very high level in my business, and that might mean that if somebody else doesn’t view it from that perspective, or if somebody comes to me and wants my coaching but what I see is them being out of integrity or what they do is going to harm people, I can see them with compassion without judgment, that in their mind, maybe they’re doing the best they can with what they have. In their mind, their truth is real for them. But it doesn’t mean I have to coach them, and it doesn’t mean that I have to question my truth because their truth is real in their mind.
And so I thought this was so powerful because I teach abundance, I believe that there’s enough people, enough love, enough money, enough all of the things to go around, that we don’t have to compete for it, that there’s just enough for everyone, that there’s plenty, that it’s – there’s an abundance of it.
And I think when we get into this competition mindset that there’s one best, there’s one right, and in order for me to be right you have to be wrong, it’s fueling this idea of lack or fear. Of fear that if you’re right that means I’m wrong. So I want to ask you guys if you believed that there was an abundance of whatever it is, of love, of clients, I see that a lot in business, we get really fearful about what if someone attracts my clients or whatever it is, if you believed that someone could be doing a completely opposite approach to business or approach to life and if you accepted and had compassion that in their mind their truth is real for them, how would that free you? What would that create in you? And could that be okay and could you also stand strong in your truth even if their truth is also true for them? Even if you don’t have to make them wrong.
I think this is a little bit of a mind-bender, but I’ve been seeing it show up everywhere and have realized that we can all stand strong in our truth, and again, if we want people to show up to us in a certain way with compassion and open-mindedness, and to be open to our ideas and our truths, even if they don’t have to believe that they’re right, that we have to do the same, we have to be those people for other people. We have to show up that way for them.
And imagine all the freedom that would give you. Imagine all the release of this need to be right and this space of fighting for your ego and fighting for your truth and how would you feel if you knew that you didn’t have to be right and that your truth could be true for you and everybody else could have their own truths and can all be okay? And it could all be amazing.
And that again, you still get to stand in your truth and set boundaries around that in order to stand strong in your truth and not make it mean anything about them. So I’m sure we’re going to dig more into these topics of lack and fear and abundance and love because it’s something that’s at the foundation of the things that I teach, but I just think this is so powerful because I think we just have this need to be right and this need for our truths to be right and others to be wrong in order for us to stand powerfully, and that’s just not the case.
And I think that we will have a lot more compassion and a lot more freedom if we just lean into this idea. So I love you guys, and if this triggered you in some way, if you’re like, “Wait a minute, no way, that can’t be true,” I think that that is what I’m here to do is to challenge you and challenge this belief system and see where it shows up and how it affects the way you show up and how you feel, and if you question it, what that would create in your life.
So I love you guys, thank you so much for tuning in, and I hope you have a wonderful week.
Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.