Where’s the balance between being of service to others and taking care of yourself?
I think a lot of that energy drain comes from misunderstanding what it actually means to serve others. We think being of service to someone means giving them everything they want and making them comfortable at the risk of our own happiness. But what if that’s not the best way to be of service? What if coming from a place of fulfillment in yourself is actually the secret to true generosity?
Join me today to hear how I find alignment and my most generous self by understanding and fulfilling my needs first. Discover why not listening to yourself and what you need will lead to you giving to everybody else from a place of emptiness, which doesn’t actually help anyone!
Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hello, how are you guys? Happy New Year. It is 2019. Like, can you guys believe that? part of me cannot because I remember celebrating year 2000. Remember like, Y2K? I think I’m showing my age now.
It’s just so crazy to me how fast time goes. But I love the New Year. I think it’s just so exciting, it’s full of so much possibility, and I am just so excited to be here to do my life, to do my business, to do my best yet in another year. I just know because I’ve decided that 2019 is going to be a year for the books. It is going to be the best year of my life and I hope that you are starting out your year with that same intention.
So I am so pumped to bring you today’s topic as always. I just love preparing for podcast episodes and I guess when I say prepare, I mean like, I just take what I teach in my coaching with my Mango Magic girls. I take what I coach with my clients, with my mastermind people, I take what I talk to Chris about and I just write it down when I’m like, oh my gosh, my listeners have to hear this, and that’s pretty much the preparation that goes into this.
But I love it. I love just flowing, I love just giving you guys the goods and just speaking from my heart because that’s where the best stuff comes from. So before we jump into today’s episode, surprise, Mango Magic Business Academy was supposed to close at midnight last night but I know that sometimes I procrastinate and I know sometimes you guys procrastinate.
So it is open one day longer until midnight tonight. Make sure that if you have questions you ask me about if it’s for you. I want to make sure you get in on this so you can start 2019 hitting the ground running towards your goals, towards creating the life and the business that you’ve always wanted.
So today what we’re going to talk about is getting in alignment. So as I was kind of creating – if you listened to my last episode, I talked a little bit about how I completely revamped Mango Magic Business Academy and made it even better and I was doing deep work on what has separated me, what has allowed me to create the success in my life and my business that I have.
And so I’m going to teach you guys something that I really implemented into the program because I think it’s valuable for every area of life as well as business. And it’s something that I think is simple but very important. And what I’m going to talk to you guys today about is finding alignment. Finding alignment.
So something that I see happen a lot, especially with women is that we serve, serve, serve and do everything for everyone else and put ourselves last and then we end up feeling resentful, exhausted, we end up pouring from a completely empty cup because we’re not giving to ourselves first and we just end up feeling resentful or just like all of these negative things when in reality, what you’re trying to do is serve and help and give to your kids and give to your family and give to everybody around you, but then you end up feeling like of drained.
That is literally where I used to be. I used to completely ignore – three years ago when I started on this journey of personal development, I remember just feeling like something was missing. I felt completely drained. What I realized was that I didn’t pay attention to what the hell I wanted at all. I just paid attention to what everybody else wanted and their approval and doing things for other people and I just kept feeling like I was empty.
And so I think that’s just something that’s so prevalent with people. And then on the other side of that, I think that we grow and we feel good and we create amazing lives by serving others and by giving back to the world and by giving to the people around us.
And so it’s like this weird paradigm of like, figuring out where these things actually cross over. And I like, realized the secret, the magic trick to it all. And so because what I also see in the business world is like, people talking about serve, serve, serve. Serve your audience, give them what they need. And while I think absolutely, 100% like you got into business to make an impact and you want to serve them, I also think sometimes they don’t know what they need. Sometimes they don’t realize that they need to stretch themselves, to invest in themselves.
If I was focused on what was comfortable for me and what I needed and someone was just my coach when I first hired a coach was focused on just giving me what I needed, I wouldn’t have grown the way that I did. So I think serving is such a powerful word and I think it’s really important to serve. Absolutely, that’s why I’m here, that’s why I’ve created this free content through my podcast for all of you guys to serve you in the most powerful way possible.
But I think sometimes we get confused that serving looks like making it comfortable for other people or like, giving them exactly what they want or what they’re asking for, when in reality, serving them might look like stretching them, might look like challenging them. Might look like pushing them to take new steps and make new decisions that make them uncomfortable.
So sometimes that’s what serving them looks like. So anyway, these are kind of the two sides of the spectrum of alignment. And what I’ve realized, what has made me successful in business and life and what was made me happy in business and in life is finding where these two roads cross. Meaning tapping into what I want in my desires and listening to myself and giving myself what I need and then asking what the people around me need and asking what I can do for them and serving them and giving to them.
And what I found by going through this process and finding this alignment, I’m actually more generous. I give more to other people because I feel fulfilled, I feel taken care of. Instead of asking what everybody else wants first, instead of just paying attention to what they want over what I want or vice versa.
And where people I think get it a little wrong is they do one or the other, is they just listen to themselves and then they feel unfulfilled because they’re just giving to themselves, or they’re just giving to everybody else.
So this is what I want you guys to learn today. I’m getting hot. I’m in my closet. You guys know if you follow me on Instagram story, tag me if you are listening to my podcast. Just a little side plug right there. But if you know, if you follow me on Instagram @lindseymango_ you know I record these podcasts in my closet and for some reason it is hot as hell in here.
So I’m getting intense and I’m getting hot but that’s just because I’m excited to share this with you guys. So I’ve kind of created this idea and again, this is something I’ve implemented into Mango Magic because it’s also what has made me successful in business. And it’s this process of first serving yourself. Getting really clear on your desires. What do you need right now?
What is going to be exciting for you? What is going to make you feel on fire for your life? What do you need to give yourself? What desires do you have first and foremost? Because if you’re not clear on that, then you’re just going to be kind of shooting in the dark and you’re not going to be able to serve the people that you’re meant to serve to the capacity that you could serve them.
So really the first process of finding this alignment is asking yourself what do you want? What do you truly want? What are your desires? Then once you get clear on that and once you fulfill that and in the process of fulfilling that, then you can ask yourself, okay, how can I serve others from this place? From feeling taken care of, from listening to my own truest desires, how can I fulfill the desires of other people? How can I serve them?
Because when you do that, you’re going to show up in a super abundant place and a super aligned place within yourself and then you’re going to be able to get into the heads of the people you want to serve, especially in business. Your goal is not to speak to everybody. Your goal is not to serve everyone. Your goal is to serve the specific people that you want to work with.
And in a way, you have to get in their head. That’s another layer of what has made me successful is understanding what my ideal client wants, what they need, how they need to grow, and speaking to them. And in order to do that, I kind of have to get in their head and understand them. And in order to do that, I have to like, ask what they want. I have to get clear on what they want based on kind of my own desires as well.
So at the intersection of your desires and the desires of the people that you love and care about, and the people that you want to serve is this magical place of feeling fulfilled, abundant, feeling taken care of and serving to the highest level possible and being generous to the highest level possible.
And this is something that has created a life and business and relationships and everything that just makes me feel unstoppable. I always get clear on what I need first, and I know some of you guys might have mind drama around that and I did too. But what I realized is if I don’t listen to myself and what I need, then I’m going to give to everybody else from a place of emptiness. And then I’m going to feel resentful, I’m going to feel bad, and people don’t want that.
So to find alignment, ask yourself first, what do I need? What do I want? What do I desire? And then get clear on what the people around you want, need, and desire. And find where that intersects because I will tell you guys that if I just paid attention in business to what other people wanted, I would have not charged what I felt worthy of at the beginning of my coaching business.
I probably would have just given fitness solutions because at the time I started in fitness and people probably would have told me they wanted a six pack of abs and that’s what I would have tried to give them if I hadn’t tapped into what I really wanted.
So this is the place where real alignment happens. And sometimes you have to do things in life, I get it, that you don’t want to do. But here’s what I have to tell you. Before you do stuff that you don’t want to do, get really clear on why you’re doing it, and make sure that you get in alignment with wanting to do it because that is very important as well.
So what are your desires, what do you want, how can you get yourself on board with wanting to do the things when sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to, and then where does that line up with the people around you, the people that you love, the people that you’re meant to serve.
That was a lot. Alright, I love you guys. I hope you have a beautiful week. Again, let me know if you have any questions, if you need anything. Tag me in your stories. I love hearing from you guys and I will talk to you guys next week. I love you guys, have a beautiful day. I’ll talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.