If you don’t know by now, I teach people how to make decisions regardless of their fears. I teach it day in and day out; I live it!
I know the purpose of fear is to protect us. I know how to move past it in my business, and I learned how to make friends with my fear, because I want to keep doing BIG, kick–ass things. But I have to confess… I have been hiding.
There is one area of my life that I have been fighting against fear head on….
Falling in love.
I never knew until the right man crossed my path that I have been operating from a place of fear in my relationships for a long time. I have enjoyed the chase of the man who doesn’t give me the time of day. I like the man I have to work for to prove my worth, to compete for, to love from a place of lack because just like anything else, there is a lot less on the line when you are operating from fear. It’s our clever little way of protecting ourselves, and I have been protecting myself.
I could go on about where this fear originated, but that’s beside the point; the real substance is that I have looked it in the face and fought it. Day in and day out, for months.
It’s easy to see fear when light shines on it. And that’s where my boyfriend Chris comes in. I have never been loved by anyone else (other than my family) like Chris loves me.
He loves me without expectation, he loves me from abundance, he loves me for my flaws, and he loves me regardless of how badly, through our dating, I have curled up into hiding or wanted to run away from fear that things wouldn’t work out or be what I expected.
We’ve only been dating 5 months. Getting a little ahead of myself right? Yeah I get it. This happens to my clients all the time in all areas of their lives. We try to predict the pain so we are prepared for the punch, but here is the harsh reality. By preparing for the fall, we never go all the way in… in turn, we never give ourselves the chance to fly.
I have been avoiding the sucker punch. You see, the only way to really get sucker-punched is to go so far in and put it all on the line, believing it will be everything you desire without any doubt and then not getting what you want.
You see, being willing to get sucker-punched is the only way to go ALL IN. Most people typically use past circumstances to predict the future, which is why training our brain is so important. Imagine all the potential failures you might try to avoid based on all the times you messed up during your life. This is why most people don’t have the life, relationship, or business of their dreams. They aren’t willing to go ALL IN.
Here’s the thing: if you never go all in you will never get all in.
I am grateful for Chris. I am grateful for his patience. I am grateful for him loving me even when he feels my fear and could also have every reason to run.
That’s love. That’s how I want to be loved and that’s how I want to love others.
I am working on it. I am coaching through it. I am working on being open to being sucker-punched with the hope that it’s worth it.
Because it is. I mean come on, you know I don’t settle for anything less than the best, which means I must give my best.
I still get scared sometimes. Who knows how the story will unfold, but no matter what, I want to be able to look back on everything in my life knowing I gave it my all.
This makes me nervous to share, but I share it in hopes that if you are protecting your heart, this will give you the courage to face your fears. In whatever area it is.
Be willing to take the sucker-punch. It’s worth it. Or at least I am hoping so.
To be continued…. 😉