As a coach, I find it so hard to watch people I care about do things where they aren’t creating the results they want in life… and for me to not tell them what to do. This week, I’m exploring why telling people what they need to be doing or who they need to become is futile in their personal growth.
Join me this week to discover how you can start thinking about the people you want to influence from a more compassionate place. Inspiring change in others requires a lot of deep work on yourself and I’m sharing how you can start.
Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hey guys. How are you? I’m so excited to be here. Another week, another podcast episode, although I’m pretty sure you knew it was coming. Every Wednesday it drops, so I’m so excited you’re here listening. I’m grateful and honored to be even a little part of your growth journey and I just cannot wait to talk about today’s topic as always.
I’m pretty sure I say that every week, but seriously you guys, I love my podcast because I just share what’s on my heart. I share the things that I feel inspired to teach on, I share the things that I need to learn. I share the things that my audience asks for.
Like the other day, I asked you guys what do you want to hear podcast episodes about and it’s just such a fun, creative outlet for me. I talk about life, I talk about business, I talk about relationships, I talk about all the things because I truly believe who you are in life is who you are in business and living a life full of possibility is what this is really all about, whatever that looks like for you.
So, today I wanted to talk about something that can – will very much apply to business, but also applies to life in general. And it’s something that I realized – it came up for me when I had somebody reach out over and over and over again on my social media platforms to tell me why I shouldn’t be doing things a certain way.
And I totally see it for what it is. It’s from a loving place, it’s from a place of wanting to make their own change in the world, and I also realized the difference between inspiration and inspiring people into action versus telling them, and how big of a difference there is and to what you create when you do one or the other.
And I had this realization that if this person just set out on a mission to create an amazing platform that inspired me to change the specific thing, that I might be more open to it, versus being told and having an expectation put on me that I need to do things differently. And there’s no trigger in this at all. Again, I see it from the most loving place, but I just saw the lesson in it.
And so what I wanted to talk about today was the difference between inspiring versus telling people they need to change, and how this is applicable in life, in business, and in everything. Because I also ran into so many amazing humans that get on this personal growth journey and they want their significant other to be on board with it, they have all these expectations of how other people should be doing things.
And the reality is the best way you can get somebody into action and into change is by being the example. I’m going to say that again. The best way you can get someone into action, into change is by embodying and being the example and losing the expectation that they need to change in order for you to feel comfortable or happy and just allowing space for it.
I’ve seen it happen so many times where people try and push their significant other or someone into change and it doesn’t work and they get frustrated and they feel all these negative feelings because they’re making the other person responsible for how they feel and their expectations around them, and then when they start to turn inward and focus on themselves and embodying the thing that they want, they want to inspire other people to embody, all of a sudden things change and people change around them.
And that’s what’s so amazing about this and I’ve found that in business – and there’s so many ways to do business – but for me, my mission to is inspire people into action and change. Not tell them that they need to do or be a certain way. And I do that by being my greatest student of all of the lessons that show up in my life, by sharing my stories, by sharing my experiences, and I do that from a place of creating space to inspire people to change.
Because when people are inspired to change on their own, that’s a beautiful and amazing thing and there’s nothing that can stop them. I truly believe that when we tell people to do things, even if they do change for a short period of time, it’s not lasting change. It’s not forever change because it’s not driven by the thing that’s most important, which is their internal drive, their internal commitment to it.
So, what’s the difference? How do you inspire people to change versus tell them to change? Well first of all, you lose the expectation that your clients, your audience, your significant other or whoever it is, your boss needs to change for your comfortability. And you start to see them from a place of compassion. Where is their current way of operating coming from their own thoughts and their own mindset and their own place of doing the very best that they can?
How can you see it from a different perspective instead of from the one that you are currently seeing? That will give you such a different perspective on them because the reality is you guys have all been stuck in fear. You’ve all had bad programming, you all have some sort of limited belief. This person might just have them on a deeper level and haven’t had an opportunity to work on it or fix it.
Now, I know it’s so hard, especially for me as a coach, to watch somebody that you love and know that they could do things differently and create different results. But I want you guys to think about what it would be like if your mom called and told you every single day that you should or shouldn’t do things a certain way, or that you should start reading books or you should start doing these things, how does that feel?
Do you feel inspired to do something or do you feel annoyed? And that is the thing, even though I know you have the best intentions of telling your audience on social media or of telling your significant other that things could be so much better, see it from a place of what inspires you into action and what creates space for you to grow.
You started on your personal growth journey because you decided, and that’s what’s creating the change. So lose the expectations that they need to change and start to take ownership over you creating your happiness and how you feel around that person. Start to see them from a compassionate place. Even your audience. This applies to business. Start to see your audience from a compassionate place.
Then, how can you inspire change? How can you apply the thing that you’re wanting them, your audience, your clients, your significant other, the thing that you want them to change, I want you to turn inward and say how do I need to apply this on a deeper level? If you want your audience to stop making decisions out of fear, turn inward. How can you stop making decisions out of fear at the next level?
If you want your significant other to start showing up and doing more personal growth, how can you deepen your work and your personal growth and start showing up at a whole new level as the example? It’s kind of like that saying, be the change. That’s how you create momentum. That’s how you create and inspire people to change and give them space to be inspired, instead of expecting them to be something else.
So how does this look in a business standpoint? This looks like being your own greatest student of whatever it is that you teach. This looks like applying your work over and over and over again on a deeper level and sharing your stories and sharing your examples and giving your audience the opportunity to raise their hands like through free trainings or a podcast or whatever it is, and see that your job is to create the space. Your job is to not expect them to be something that they aren’t. Your job is to be the example.
So my question for you guys today is how can you be the example? Who do you have to become to be so influential and what example do you have to set that people are dying to jump on board with you? That your husband or your significant other eventually looks at you and says, “You’re so happy all the time and I’m not. I finally can’t take it anymore, I need your help.”
That’s what inspires real change. So I want to push you guys, I want to give you guys the opportunity to build your business from a place of how can I inspire others to take action, how can I be the example, how can I do the things internally and externally that I want my following, my clients, my everybody to do and how can I be that person for my family, my friends, all of the things.
Because the right people will be inspired by it. Eventually they’ll come around. You just have to hold the space for it because again, if 10 years ago, before you went on this personal growth journey, someone kept telling you you needed to read these books and you should really read them and you’re not happy all the time and all of these things, would you have been inspired to change? Or why did you finally decide to change and how can you be that person instead of telling them?
Instead of telling them that they need to be something different than what they are, how can you show them? One of my favorite quotes that my fiancé Chris always says is show, don’t tell, and he means that when it comes to love, and I love that about him and I’m so grateful for it because him just telling me he loves me is one thing but him showing me he loves me is a different story.
I want you guys to think about your lives and your businesses in that same way. If you want to create change in the world, how can you show that change in the world? How can you be that change in the world? Then there will be no stopping you. You are always your greatest student. Always apply the things that you want other people to apply to yourself first at a deeper level.
So show, don’t tell. Inspire, don’t tell. That will create something amazing and long-lasting and everything that you could have ever wanted. Because is it really as gratifying if you tell somebody that they have to do something and they do it versus them just watching you and being inspired to get into action? It’s totally different.
So I love you guys, I cannot wait for you to start applying this. You can use this in everything. Your branding and your business, your relationship, all of the things. Just remember – I forget who said this quote, but be the change you wish to see in the world. I love you guys and I will talk to you soon. Bye.
Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.