When you see other people’s success, where is the line between jealousy and inspiration? And can both of those feelings be beneficial to your vision? Jealousy generally has a very negative connotation, but what if it is possible to spin it into something positive?
On this week’s episode, I explain what being jealous vs inspired means and how paying attention to your jealousy can provide great insight into what you believe is possible for you. Discover how questioning the things you don’t think you can change will open you up to even bigger dreams than you could imagine now.
Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hello my Soul CEOs. How are you guys? I hope you are having the most beautiful week. I must be honest though that I just got back from California and every day we had between 60 and 70-degree weather. And I thought that when I got back to the good old area of Louisville, Kentucky, in the Mid-West that it was going to be warmer. And we were welcomed home with some snow.
So I’m trying to find joy in the process of winter. But I must say that if you live in a sunny area and you are soaking up the vitamin D, please soak up a little bit extra for me because I am totally ready for spring and I am a little bit jealous of you guys. So soak it up and I’m sure spring is right around the corner; at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
So I’m so excited you guys are here. We are going to talk about something that I feel just came out of me when I was doing a free training and I was in flow and teaching. And it was a concept that I kind of just developed and created and thought of. And when I said it, I didn’t realize it was going to make the impact that it did. And it was really cool because at the end of day one of this free training, I asked everybody to give me feedback or tell me what their biggest takeaway was so they could celebrate that and they could see their transformation.
And so many of them said that what I’m going to teach you today was one of their biggest takeaways. And I had no idea it was going to make the impact that it did. So I knew right away after hearing that that I had to share it with all of you guys because it made such an impact on them.
So a part of my job as a coach is to help people expand their awareness of what’s possible. Or maybe not even just a coach, but as a human being, I want people to believe that they can have anything that they want in life. And a huge part of that is about sharing that on social media, sharing that with you guys. I talk about that in the intro of this podcast, about how I want to show you that anything is possible and then teach you how to get it.
And something that I teach a lot of is helping women create a vision for themselves, because I feel like a vision for the life that you desire is really at the foundation of a lot of the work that we do. And something that I teach a ton of is how to become the woman in that vision today now because that’s actually how you attract the life that you desire and attract the clients and attract the significant other or the friends. Whatever it is, you have to show up as that woman now.
That topic will be for another day, I promise. It is one of my favorite things to teach. But in teaching the vision at the foundation of this, this is where this concept of jealousy versus inspiration came into play. So there’s something very important about creating a vision for yourself and believing that anything is possible throughout this growth and throughout this journey.
And when we’re young, we typically dream, right. We don’t have as much fear, we don’t have as many belief systems and we have really big dreams for ourselves. It’s like when you ask a little kid what they want to be when they grow up and they say astronaut or doctor or whatever it is. And then over time, we start to learn things from other people, from friends, from society, that maybe our big dreams aren’t possible. And we start to get fearful and what happens is, over time, we stop dreaming.
And it’s really sad because I feel like dreaming can be so fun and dreaming and having a vision, like I said earlier, is going to be at the foundation of a lot of this work because if you don’t believe it’s even possible or if you don’t have a vision then how are you ever going to get there and how are you going to do the work to get there?
So I feel like it’s a part of my job to help women and my clients and you guys as listeners dream big. So I feel like it’s my job as a coach, for my clients, for you guys, for women, to help you dream big again because that’s what’s at the foundation of this work.
So when I was talking about creating this vision, I was talking to a wide range of people – and I know I’m talking to a wide range of women and people right now. So some of you guys maybe wake up every day and think about your vision. Some of you guys might think about it sometimes. Some of you guys might not think about it at all, which is totally fine. It doesn’t matter where you are. But something that I was explaining about creating this vision and getting even clearer on this vision – so no matter where you are, no matter if you do have this clear vision or not, you can always make it clearer. You can always access it more.
Like my vision is constantly changing as I follow different people and as I look for inspiration and as I bring new things into my awareness of what’s possible. So this will be something that’s very impactful for everybody, no matter where you are on this scale of how much you have a vision or how clear your vision is.
But here’s what I explained – we typically look at somebody who inspires us from a really positive place, right. So you might be following me on social media. You might be following other people and you might feel inspired by what they do. And that is always a great frame of reference for what you want your vision to look like, right. So whatever you feel inspired by, that could be a part of your vision and the life that you desire.
Now, here’s where your mind, I think, is going to be blown. So while some people are inspirational, there’s other people that hit a nerve with you that you feel jealous of. And I think jealousy, it typically has a very negative connotation, which is totally fine. It’s all about what we’ve been taught and what we learn and how we view things and the perspective that we come from.
But I think jealousy is the best window into what we really want because as something creates a negative emotion in you or a negative reaction, there’s something inside of you that it is hitting. There’s something that you are feeling negative about or there’s some sort of opportunity for transformation there.
For example, if somebody were to joke with me about me being tall, that wouldn’t cause any negative emotion. I would probably laugh and be like, “I’m not tall.” For those of you listening who don’t know me, I’m like 5’4 – so like average height. But if somebody joked about me, especially back in the day, I used to be quite a bit more muscular and a little bit stockier, I remember someone saying something about me being stocky. And it just hit a nerve with me because a part of me believed it because it hit something inside of me that I hadn’t worked on yet and I had a negative connotation in my mind back in the day of what that meant about me.
So I feel like jealousy is an even bigger window into the life we actually want and to what we really want because when something’s inspirational, it’s because we think we can have it or we feel good about it because we think it’s potentially accessible to us. But when we feel jealousy, it comes from the belief that we can’t have it. So of course it’s going to feel terrible to see someone do something if we don’t believe that that’s even an option for us.
So I want to challenge you to pay attention to what inspires you when it comes to creating your vision, of course, absolutely. That’s a part of why I’m on this planet; to inspire people. But I want you to really pay close attention to what makes you feel jealous. What brings up that negative emotion and where does it come from? If you believed you could have that thing that you’re jealous of, would you feel jealous or would you feel inspired?
So take this mindset and go out into your life, or think about right now what things in your life or what you look at in other people that make you feel jealousy or create the feeling of jealousy within you and ask yourself, if that was accessible for me or is that was a part of my vision or if I thought I could have that, would I feel inspired by it? Would I feel excited by it?
And that’s where the work begins. Because I want you guys to feel like anything is possible, I want you to feel like you have access to whatever you desire in life and so whatever you feel jealous of could be your biggest opportunity for growth; to expanding your awareness of what’s possible for you and expanding your vision.
Now, I also want to warn you that sometimes we become jealous of things that we cannot change. And I want to be careful when I say this because there’s a lot of things that our brain tells us we can’t change that we actually can. Like our financial situation, our family situation, our whatever it is. I told you guys, I think in the last episode, that we can’t control circumstances but what we can control is how we approach things and how we show up to things.
So I want to warn you that a lot of times, the things we don’t think we can change, I want to ask you to question yourself on that. I want you to question your belief of is it something that I could actually change or view differently and change how I feel about it. Now, when I say that, that kind of leads me into what I’m saying about stuff that we cannot change.
So, for example, I want you to think about – sometimes people feel jealous over girl’s looks. Totally real thing, right? I experience that sometimes – a lot less than I used to. I’ve done a ton of work on it. But this is where you have an opportunity to grow and change. And I don’t mean in the actual physical appearance, but in the belief that this is something that’s important, or in the belief that this is something that will add a ton of value to your life. Because I would venture to guess that that jealousy is coming from the fact that you believe that there’s a huge amount of importance on that.
And for some people, that might be the case, but is that what you want to believe? Is that how you want to feel? Is that how you want to experience your life? Or would you rather have the belief that your heart and soul and who you are and the energy you give off and the vibe you show up in is going to be what makes you beautiful; is going to be what makes you amazing?
So that’s what I mean when I say be careful about this and be aware of what you’re jealous of and question if I thought I could have this – like if this is accessible to me, would I feel inspired and could this be something that I add into my vision for the life that I really want? Or is this something that I can’t change and do I want to change the way I’m viewing it?
So when I say, like, there’s things that you can’t change, I actually mean like physical circumstances. You can always change something in the scenario and what I want you to change is your belief about it, which essentially is what we’re doing from the beginning, right. We’re changing our belief that this is possible for me, or you’re changing the belief that this is important or of value for you.
Like, I think back to – I used to be obsessive over my fitness and my health and my body. And it’s really interesting to look back on because – I mean, health and fitness and all of that is very important to me still, but I view it from a totally different lens of taking care of myself and treating my body well and treating my body the way that I need to in order to show up and do my work in the world.
But I remember being really jealous of girl’s bodies and it was because I put so much value on it and I put so much importance on that specific thing. And so my body still – I mean, it looks a little different, but I definitely don’t have some of those bodies that people, back in the day, that I was jealous of. But what I changed was my perspective of the value of that and why that was important, right.
And that’s why my health and fitness journey is so much more exciting and fun because I do it for my internal health, I do it for my mental health, I do it for my vibe and how happy it makes me and how it makes me feel. So, I didn’t necessarily change my body. Like, I’m never going to be one of those girls who has stick skinny legs. It’s just not my body. I don’t plan on changing it. Maybe it’s possible, but I don’t really want to change it to that degree. But what I changed was my perspective on it.
What I changed was the value that I placed on it. And placing so much value on that didn’t make me feel good and didn’t make me feel fulfilled. So jealousy and inspiration can essentially be the same thing. It’s just that jealousy comes from this feeling that we can’t have it or we value something that maybe doesn’t serve the person that we want to be or the life we want to have and inspiration is just something that feels good because we view it from that perspective. We view it from the idea that it’s possible for us or maybe possible for us or gives us hope.
So I hope this blew your mind as much as it blew the minds of the ladies in my free training. I think it’s such a cool concept to look at and pay attention to. And I think, for me, because I have this belief now, whenever I experience jealousy, which really isn’t all that often, but if it does come up – if I see somebody travelling the world and I feel jealous – I think, “Ooh, here’s something new that I want to add to my vision.” I have to expand my awareness that this is possible for me.
I do believe that I can travel the world, but you know what I mean. So I hope this gives you an opportunity to pay attention to when you feel jealous and how you can shift your perspective on it and how you can create a space where it serves the woman you want to be, the life you want to have and the vision that you desire for yourself.
So thank you guys so much for being here. Don’t forget, if you want a chance to be on my bonus episode and coached live, go to my website at lindseymangocoaching.com/itunes for instructions on how to enter. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.