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A lot of people want to put themselves out there but can only bear to display the version of themselves that they think people will like. We’re avoiding major rejection by putting up barriers and not being our true selves.

On this week’s show, we’re peeling back the layers of who we really are and who we want to show up as in this world. We’re going to dive into the heart and soul of how we can bring our most authentic self to the table, every time.

Sounds scary, right? Well, in this episode, I have an eye-opening analogy for you that will encourage you to operate as your truest-self! I’m going to discuss how if people reject the idea of your business or your journey, this is not a total rejection of you – unless you give it the power to make it about you.

If you would like an opportunity for a free coaching session with me, recorded and aired on the podcast as a bonus episode, follow the instructions HERE to rate and review the podcast on iTunes. I cannot wait to start putting those bonus episodes out. They’re going to be mind-blowing and I am so grateful for those of you who leave a review and who are open to being coached!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What it means to show up authentically.
  • How putting your truest self out there will attract your biggest fans.
  • Why your business is your form of art.
  • Why rejection of your art is not a rejection of you as a person.
  • How to get over the feeling of rejection and keep powering forward.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

 

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you guys? I think I start every episode like that, but I seriously want to know how you guys are. And some of you guys have been so amazing in tagging me in your Instagram stories and telling me what you think of the podcast and messaging me. I am so grateful for it. I love it so, so much. So keep it up.

And I’ve been blown away by the ratings and reviews. I was thinking about that this morning and looking over everything, and I think I’m at 31 ratings and reviews and they’ve all been so amazing. So for those of you guys who have done that, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback. I appreciate hearing what you love about the show.

It fuels me forward because this podcast really is for you, so thank you so much. And thank you for those of you who have shared an episode with somebody or put it on your Instagram story or whatever it is. I just appreciate it and I love hearing from you guys. So message me; tell me what you think. Tag me in something. Ask me questions. This is about you, so I just want to tell you guys how appreciative I am for the amazing feedback and for your following and your support in this journey all along the way; in this podcast and in everything else. So thank you so much.

I am recording this on a Saturday. We’re finally getting some sun here in Louisville, Kentucky. I am super pumped about that. Chris and I, who is my boyfriend if you don’t follow me on social media, we are going to Florida soon, so we are all so excited to soak up some sun and more beach time. I just cannot wait.

I am super excited about today’s topic because it’s something I have actually taught and talked about with so many people this week. In fact, a lot of you guys are going to hear this and you’re going to be like, “Lindsey talked about this on our call or she talked about it on our mastermind or just in general interactions.” I’ve been sharing it because it was such a huge realization for me.

And I think it’s going to be really powerful for all of you guys because what I find when people start on this journey, and I talked about this in the last episode, about supporting yourself the way you want other people to support you. It kind of piggybacks off this idea of when you start on this journey, sometimes it can be hard because maybe you don’t have the support that you desire and that’s okay.

You’re changing who you are, you’re growing and you’ve taught people how to receive you and who you are, and now you’re changing that. So of course, that’s going to come with some natural discourse and some natural discomfort. But it also can be really hard, as you start on this journey, to really start showing up as your authentic self.

I like to think of coaching and personal growth as, yes, we’re changing and growing, but really peeling back the layers of the belief and the things that have held us back over our entire lives and pulling back those layers to finding our most true authentic self. Because, I think, at the core of who we are and when we’re children and when we’re first born, we have that true essence, and then over time we kind of lose it with negative things that happen or with experiences that happen.

So I see a lot of this work as pulling back those layers and getting to the heart and soul of who you really are and who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world. And that can be really hard sometimes. I think we build up all these barriers and want to protect our hearts and our souls and protect ourselves from really putting our true selves out there because it can feel like real rejection if we put the real version of ourselves out there and people don’t accept it or love it or whatever it is for you. And so I find a lot of people, even myself in some instances, that will put out this version of ourselves that we think people will like knowing that if they don’t or if it gets rejected, in the back of our mind, we can at least fall back on this idea of, “Well, I didn’t really put my full self out there. So yeah, they rejected me, but they really didn’t reject me or they didn’t accept the real version of me.”

So it kind of gives us this scapegoat or this opportunity to kind of back out of that and not really fully experience and feel that rejection because we didn’t put our whole heart and soul into that relationship or into the world. And that can be such a hard and scary thing. We build belief systems over our whole life to protect us, typically, from that.

But my job here and the purpose of the Soul CEO and my work in the world is to help people bring the most authentic versions of themselves, their truest version of themselves forward and to create lives, businesses and relationships that really reflect that.

But again, that can be really scary because maybe you haven’t done that in a really long time. So I was listening to Pandora and that is kind of where this transformation and realization came. And it’s so funny; with the work that I do, my mind is constantly pulling back layers and finding things in my daily life that are great teaching opportunities. And it gave me a huge transformation in terms of what it’s like to put our real selves out there and what it’s like to put – I would consider, our most authentic version of ourselves and our businesses and everything, is kind of like our art and is an extension of ourselves.

And how to put it out there in a way that you can feel really good and excited and understand that if people don’t love it and accept it – understand it in a different way that doesn’t feel like total rejection of you or doesn’t feel so bad and make you want to run away and put back all of those barriers and those walls; to see it for what it really is.

So here’s what happened. I was listening to Pandora and I was at the gym and I was trying to get a really good workout in and I heard a song come on – I think it was Ed Sheeran – it’s not that I don’t like Ed Sheeran, but at the time I was trying to get pumped up, get amped up.

So I thought, you know, this song really isn’t the right fit and the particular song I didn’t love, so I hit the thumbs down, and in that moment, I thought, Ed Sheeran is not like sitting in his mansion somewhere thinking, “Oh my gosh, somebody hit a thumbs down. They don’t like me. They’ve rejected me. I’m so upset.”

And it kind of made me laugh thinking about it because I think, so often, it’s very real when we start to put ourselves out there and put our businesses out there on social media or talk about it with our friends or talk about our new journey with our friends, that if they don’t accept it, we make it mean something really powerful and deep about us when it really doesn’t have to. It really doesn’t necessarily mean that.

And so, to go back to my example, when I was thinking about me hitting thumbs down on this song, I realized that artists, musicians, when they put their music out into the world, that’s really an extension of themselves and it’s really like their most authentic real version of themselves, depending on the kind of music they put out there. But it’s their art and, like I was saying, they don’t sit at home crying thinking, “Oh my gosh, Lindsey Mango in Louisville, Kentucky just hit a thumbs down and doesn’t like me and doesn’t accept me and is rejecting me.”

Like, they obviously have so many followers that they don’t even realize that I’m doing that. I’m sure he has no idea. But at the same time, you know, when we have less people that are following us or important people that are following us kind of reject us in that same way or give us that thumbs down or don’t support us in our journey, we can make it mean so many things about us and give it so much power and that is really our responsibility.

And so, here is how I chose to look at it in this situation, and here’s what I want to offer you guys in this particular instance and how you can apply it to so many different things, whether it is your business or whether it is your most true authentic version of yourself. And it’s about the idea that if this is your art, if this is your most true authentic version of yourself and what you’re putting out to the world and what you’re giving to other people and giving to your followers or your friends or your family or your significant other, that is your version of your art.

And everybody’s art isn’t for everyone, right. Like just because I hit a thumbs down, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like Ed Sheeran as a human being. And just because there’s other music out there that I don’t love or listen to, it doesn’t mean that it means anything about them as a human being, it just means that their music, their art, just isn’t for me. Or maybe it isn’t for me at that time, right.

That Ed Sheeran song wasn’t for me during my workout, but it might be for me when I’m in a very peaceful mood and want to think about love and life and journal, or something like that. And so, that is what we really could make it mean, that the work we do in the world and our businesses and our lives and our most authentic versions of our self is our art. And that if people don’t accept it or love it or respond the way that we expect them to, it doesn’t mean anything about us, it just means that they don’t connect with your version of your art.

And that’s okay because there are people in the world that are looking for your art, that are looking for your most authentic self, that are craving someone to step into their power and show the way for someone just like them or for somebody who they connect to on a really deep level. And sometimes, that’s not the people we expect it to be and that’s okay, but your life is your art and if you don’t put your most authentic art out to the world, you’re never really going to know who is going to deeply connect with it. You’re never going to connect with those people on a deep, deep level because they don’t really know you and get to see you, and then they are also fearful to put their version of their art out into the world because no one’s leading the way.

And so, I just think it’s such a powerful thing to realize and recognize that you and how you show up in the world is a version of your art and that the people who love it and adore it and connect with it and think it’s the most beautiful thing on the planet are going to be your biggest fans and your ride or die people because they connect with you on such a deep level. And that’s the only way to find those people, right.

The only way that musicians can find their true audience and their true connection is by putting out their real music; is by putting out the things that really connect with them. I was thinking about it in terms if, for example, let’s say people bought a bunch of concert tickets – I don’t know why I said it like that.

If they bought a bunch of tickets to go to a concert and they were expecting to see Justin Bieber and then you put the most famous hardcore rock and roll band there, who people love, but you had them show up at this concert where people were expecting to see Justin Bieber and love his music, they’d probably be pretty pissed and wouldn’t be happy about it.

And it has nothing to do with the band, right, and has nothing to do with the audience, and maybe some of them could see the beauty in that music and see the beauty in their work but maybe don’t love it and it has nothing to do with either of them. But it’s so crazy how when we go to put our most authentic self out there, we either don’t because we’re afraid if people will accept us or love us for that, but how are we ever going to know who accepts us and loves us and our business and our soul work?

And that is what this really is about; finding your true audience, finding those people in your world that connect with you on that deep level because you are showing up as that version of yourself, the most real true version of you. It’s also kind of like – just to give you guys another example – it’s like there are some art pieces, for example, that look to me like a third grader scribbled on a piece of I don’t even know what, like a sculpture or on a canvas. And I look at the price and it says like a million dollars.

For me, that might not be my art and I can accept it and not judge it and see that, you know, some people would value that, but I would never pay a million dollars for it, right. But then there’s some people in the world that might pay a million dollars for it, that love that type of work, that see the beauty in it, that see the depth in it and they will pay that.

And that is because that’s what they connect with. That’s their truest self connecting with this truest version of this art. And the only way to find them is to put that out there. So my question for you is, what if you just started to look at your life, how you showed up to people, relationships, how you put your business and your brand out there to the world as your version of art and seeing that the people who connect with it are your people and love you for you; all of your flaws, all of your amazing pieces of yourself. And the people that don’t, it just doesn’t mean anything about you and that they are going to connect and find their soul work with the other people that have done that and that they are going to connect with someone else, potentially, who puts their truest self out there that may be completely different than you.

Or, maybe they’ve never pulled back the layers and they never really get to know who really loves them and their business and their lives and connect with them on a deep level for who they really are because they’ve never put their real art out there into the world.

So, how could you guys put your art out there into the world? How could you put your most truest self out there so that you can find those people who are your biggest fans, who love you exactly as you are and who are inspired to do the same because you were willing to put your art in the world?

And what would you guys do if you weren’t afraid of people not accepting your art or your life or your business or who you were? And that, my friends, is how you can really step into your power and see that you are meant to put your beauty, your art, your truest self out there and that people are craving for you to do that and that your audience, your relationships, your tribe is waiting for you to do that, and they will find you if you put that true version of yourself out there.

So put your art out to the world. Put your truest self out there and find your raving fans. Find that person that loves you exactly as you are. Find the person who will pay a million dollars for your work that is of your truest self, and that, my friends, is how you’re going to live a soulful life and that is how you’re going to create something that is really important and special to you and will also be special to the people that are around you.

So I love you guys so much. If you love this episode, please share it with somebody who needs to hear this message. Thank you so much for your ratings and reviews, again. And if you haven’t done that yet, I would be so grateful for your feedback and I hope you guys have a wonderful week. Talk to you guys soon; bye.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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