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We’re all here to learn, stretch, and improve ourselves, right? Life and business don’t have to be hard, but it definitely isn’t smooth sailing all of the time. Life has its ups and downs, and negative feelings are part and parcel of the whole journey. So what do we do when sometimes things don’t go as planned?

I am so pumped to bring you this week’s topic because it’s something I teach and use myself all the time. It comes into play at every level of growth. It’s simple, but it can create such huge change in how you show up to the world.

I reveal one absolutely indispensable question that I use when things aren’t going as I expect, and how it works in helping you accelerate forward instead of letting it stunt your growth. We’re here to be the best version of ourselves, to be the woman on the other side who has everything we could ever dream of! This work is so transformative in helping you get there and I can’t wait for you to try it out!

Make sure to sign up for my upcoming free training on How to Become a Coach that Actually Makes Money.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The one key question I ask myself when things go wrong.
  • How asking this question gives you an opportunity to grow.
  • Why doing this work can make negative feelings more intense.
  • How to shift negative energy when things don’t go as planned.
  • Why it’s crucial to work on your mindset when you’re feeling negative.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:


Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you guys? I am so excited to be here, and I’m pretty sure I say that every time. I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday if you’re listening to this when it goes live. And if not, I hope you’re having a beautiful day.

I love doing this so much. It’s probably why I start every episode saying how excited I am because I think about you all every time I record these. I envision what it will be like when you’re listening to them, what transformations you’ll have, and how your perspective will be shifted.

And so it just pumps me up because that’s why I do this. And sometimes just coaching, like, me coaching you guys and talking really shifts my perspective. Like, I always joke with my clients – I have lots of clients who are coaches as well and I say, you know, when you’re a coach, you learn so much by coaching. It’s like you’re a student and you’re a coach all at the same time.

So I love this for myself too because sometimes I need to pump myself up. And I need to take my own advice. Like, that is actually the most interesting thing about coaching is that typically the thing that you’re teaching other people that’s really prevalent in your life, or that you’re learning, you have to heavily apply to your own world.

So it’s always like, hey, here’s an opportunity to apply what you just told your client to do at a different level or in a different way, and it’s my job as a coach to constantly be a student of that and constantly be learning. So I love that part of it too.

So I am so pumped to bring this topic to you guys today because it’s something that I use all the time. It’s something that I use at every level of growth, and it’s something that I’m constantly teaching my clients, and I think is so simple but can create such huge change in your energy and how you’re showing up to the world.

And I feel like sometimes people think that this mindset work is just about positive and happy thinking, and that’s definitely not the case. Like, I joke with my coach sometimes and I joke with some of my clients that I feel like my emotional scale has changed so drastically since I’ve started this work just because I’m so aware of my emotions, and sometimes that totally means negative emotion.

Like, every time you stretch yourself upward, you are stretching your emotional scale, and so I feel a lot more negative emotion sometimes than I used to, but I always know that it means that I’m stretching and growing. And so that’s what today’s focus and episode is all about is how to shift that energy when things do go wrong, when things that are unexpected do happen. Because that’s life, right? Like, I don’t ever expect that my life is just going to go perfectly all the time, that forever things are going to be amazing, right?

Like, life is ups and downs, life is positives and negatives, and dealing with different things as they go on. And our work is to keep showing up every day and doing this work and continuing to learn and learn from life’s lessons and experiences to better ourselves and to improve, right? That’s why you guys are all here is you just want to keep improving. You guys are like, students for life, right?

And I think it can be such a fun journey, but it doesn’t mean that everything is always going to go perfectly. And that’s kind of what I’m going to talk about today and how you can shift your perspective to see it differently and not necessarily just make it all happy go lucky and positive all the time, but just to see what’s happening through a different lens.

So I’m going to give you guys today the question that I ask myself when let’s just say, pardon my language, but shit hits the fan because it does sometimes, right? And especially in business, like, we joke that you can feel like you’re constantly on a rollercoaster, like you’re creeping up to the top it’s so exciting and then all of a sudden you’re like, screaming on your way down, right? And then you creep back up and then you fall down and then you keep going and it’s this fun and exciting and sometimes nauseous experience.

I’m not saying that business is really ever nauseous for me, but sometimes it – I feel it in my gut. I feel it in my stomach, and it doesn’t always feel great. So I want to tell you guys what I ask myself and what I ask my clients when things in life don’t go as planned.

So when we go after big things in life, there are going to be failures along the way, and there are going to be roadblocks. And like I said earlier, there are going to be times where things just don’t go as planned. And this is when it’s the most important to look at your mindset, look at what’s happening, look at how you’re dealing with it because that is also going to dictate how quickly you can shift your energy and shift your mind to do something about it, right?

Like, if something awful happens in my business and I just sit under a blanket for a month and get myself into this low, low point, then I’m going to have a hard time crawling my way back out of it, right? It’s going to stunt my growth. And it’s going to stunt my opportunity to grow through the experience. So that’s what this is really about.

So I’ve made you guys wait long enough, but here the question I ask myself when stuff doesn’t go as planned. And it’s this: how is the universe giving me the opportunity to grow into the woman I am asking to become?

I love this question so much, I’m going to say it one more time. How is the universe, or god, or whatever higher power you believe in, giving me the opportunity to grow into the woman or person I am asking to become?

It is so good. And let me show you why. Because when stuff doesn’t go as planned, we immediately feel like what’s happening, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go, this isn’t how I get to the next level, and we get frustrated and stuck and we feel kind of like the world is against us. But this question, it gives you your power back, it gives you the opportunity to see what’s really happening because I truly believe that this is what’s actually happening.

We’re getting an opportunity to grow. Because like I said, life and business isn’t always going to be just smooth sailing. I’m not saying it has to be hard, but sometimes things aren’t going to go exactly as we expect, right?

So here’s the thing, I’ve talked about this before, but our current mindset and how we process things is what creates our current result. So think about it. If you want to grow, if you want to create something completely different in your life, you have to grow the way you’re making decisions and how you handle different things.

And that means at new levels, there are going to be new things that happen in your life, good and bad that you have to learn to work through and grow through. And so my thought is this: if I was able to deal with this roadblock or frustration easily, then I would already be at that next level. I would already be showing up as the woman who already has the life on the other side of this roadblock.

But what happens is it’s there and it triggers us and it triggers our negative emotion because we aren’t where we want to be at, right? Because it’s keeping us from getting over that hump to get on the other side to grow through it. So whenever something happens like that, or even good things, but I think mostly we want to shift our energy when the negative things happen, right?

So when you ask yourself, “How is the universe giving me the opportunity to grow into the woman that I’m asking to become,” I’m going to push you guys to lean back on what I taught you maybe last episode about I don’t know and not saying that and forcing yourself to come up as many reasons as possible to why this is happening and how it’s serving you and how it’s helping you grow.

Because if you were to sit down and literally write a list of all of these things, I guarantee you will be able to find something at some point if you keep working on it that you can latch onto and realize like, “Oh my gosh, I’m trying to take that next step, I have to learn how to grow through this, I have to learn how to become the woman that this doesn’t trigger and that this doesn’t bother and that this doesn’t bring down to a negative state.”

Because at that next level, she is able to deal with this, right? She is able to move through this, she is able to make decisions without having this stop her energetically or stop her from moving forward.

So it really is a sign that when stuff doesn’t go as planned or you know, like I said earlier, crap kind of hits the fan, that we have a new opportunity to approach it differently, and if we ask our self this question, we’re going to be able to see how we need to grow in order for it to no longer be a problem.

Like, that is another question that’s really powerful too is who do I have to become for this to no longer be a problem. Even if it’s like, a physical circumstance – in fact, mostly if it’s a physical circumstance. It’s like, who do I have to be for this to no longer be a problem, right?

So let’s just say – I’ll give you guys an example of this. I have had to work on caring a ton about what people say about me and what they think about me and all of those things, and I’ve changed dramatically when it comes to this. Like, I used to be crippled by this. And I’m not as much anymore, but I’m a human being, I like to be liked by people. Like, I want to be loved by people, I want to be accepted.

And I feel like we all as human beings have the best intentions and we try our very best, so if somebody doesn’t like me or somebody says something rude or mean or whatever it is, I don’t like it. It triggers me, it doesn’t feel good to me, and I still have a huge opportunity to grow in this, right?

So I have a perfect example. I had a woman the other day comment on one of my posts and it was kind of my like, first or second hater comments and definitely I spent some energy and time thinking about it. I was like, “Oh my gosh, what if that’s true about me? What if this is actually something that people think about me?” And I thought about it and I spent energy on it, right?

And then I went to this question: how is the universe giving me the opportunity to become the woman I’m asking to become? Now, my thoughts immediately go to the fact that I am working on scaling my business to a giant level, to a huge impactful level, which means that there are going to be a lot more people, and there are going to be a lot more haters, right?

It’s kind of like that saying like if you don’t have any haters, you’re not big enough or whatever it is, right? Like, there’s going to be a lot more people who are going to want to throw their opinions my way because my reach is going to be bigger, my impact’s going to be larger, people are going to have more things to say, and that’s totally okay.

And if I’m asking to become that woman, that woman can’t spend energy or time thinking about what people are saying bad about her and asking herself is this really true about me and do people really think this, and having it impact her vibe and her energy, right?

She just believes that she is doing the very best she can and that she has pure intentions and that she is wanting to make a huge impact in the world and realizes just like I coach everybody that I work with, that what people say and do is just a reflection of how they feel and not how I feel, and seeing that and believing that, right?

So for me, in this particular instance, the universe is giving me the opportunity to grow through this, to no longer be triggered by this in a major way so that I can be the woman who has the impact that I want to have, who has the reach, who has the following, who has the huge number of people following me and commenting and saying things, and not allowing those things to impact me.

So I want to ask you guys if you asked this question to yourself every time things didn’t go as planned, who are you asking to become and how are you getting an opportunity to become her? Because I can guarantee that if you can find an answer, not necessarily a solution, but an answer to this question, you’re going to see where you have an opportunity to grow, which is why we’re all here, and how you can see that it’s kind of exciting.

Like for me, when something like that happens and I ask myself this question, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting an opportunity to grow, to get to that next level. Like, I have to grow to become that woman and so I have to start looking at these things and doing them differently and growing my mindset.”

So that’s what this is really about, and if you are committed to a lifetime of growth, this will always be the case, right? Because when you stretch yourself to new levels, there will be new opportunities to grow into that woman.

So ask yourself that question. See what happens to your energy when you realize that there is an opportunity in these negative things, that there is an opportunity when you hit this roadblock. And then when you grow through it, the woman you are asking to become is right there on the other side, and that’s so exciting.

And you want those opportunities. That means you’re ready, that means you’re leveling up, and that’s such a cool thing. So I want you guys to use this question, I want you to ask yourself this all the time. Go back, journal on it. Like, when I get really stuck, I will literally write this question down at the top of my page and I will come up with as many reasons as possible until I find one that I really feel like is truth and I learn and grow through it to become that person.

So I love you guys, I hope that this question is as impactful to you as it is to me and is to so many of my clients, and I hope you have the most beautiful day. I will talk to you soon. Bye.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.


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