Today, I’m talking about setbacks and whether there really is such a thing as going backward. We’re all on our own personal growth journeys, and I know that a small mistake or bad choice can feel like it’s the end of the world. I’m exploring how there is no such thing as starting over, and how you can change your mindset around setbacks to keep moving forward.
Listen in today to learn a new way to approach your own personal journey! Challenges help you grow along the way, and thinking about setbacks in the way I’m discussing today will help you have a more fulfilling path on your way to living your best life.
Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hello, how are you guys? Happy Wednesday. I am so freaking pumped to be here. So, I hope you guys are having a beautiful day. Last week, we were in Asheville at the Biltmore doing our tasting and picking out the food that we will have at our wedding. It was so fun and it got me so excited for our wedding day.
I like, literally dream about it all the time. I’m sure that’s pretty normal for brides. But anyway, it was such an awesome experience. But I am so pumped to be here today to talk to you guys about this topic because it is something that happens to all of us. It is universal. But I think what’s so important, just like everything, is how we handle it. Are you guys ready?
I’m talking about setbacks; I’m talking about when you take steps backward when you’re trying to go forward. I’m talking about when you start going back to old behaviors and start going backwards to the things that you used to do. So here’s the thing that I think is so important about this is that you are a human.
Hello human. And you are going to have setbacks, and you are going to take steps backward. And what I want you to know is it doesn’t have to mean that something has gone horribly wrong. Something that I have realized is so many of us have this negative story about taking steps back and so when it happens, we freak out and that compounds the effect of moving backwards, instead of seeing it as a part of the journey, which is it.
Life changes, things change, different situations happen in our lives and it creates different environments where we might take a few steps backward. But here’s the thing I really want you guys to see is what if it’s never really you taking steps backwards? What if it’s just you being on a journey of growth and continuing to pursue your best life and veering off course and bringing yourself back?
That is what this episode is all about because someone actually asked me on my Instagram story – sometimes I ask you guys for ideas on what you want to hear podcast episodes about. Go follow me if you don’t, @lindseymango_. And someone was saying how do you catch yourself in old behaviors and what do you do when that starts to happen.
And my response to you and to all of you guys is to first have grace with yourself, is to first just witness it and celebrate the fact that you noticed that you fell off track. At some point we learn this behavior or we think if I beat myself enough for falling off track or if I make myself feel negative enough, maybe I’ll never go back there.
But that doesn’t seem to be working because again, we are human beings. We are on a journey, and if you are on a journey of growth, which all of you guys are, you’re listening to this, so you must be on some sort of growth journey no matter what it looks like for you, you are going to have setbacks because you are pushing yourself because you’re trying to take steps forward and sometimes that knocks you on your ass a little bit further back than where you would like to be.
So again, if this is happening to you, the first thing I want you to start doing is just having grace with yourself instead of beating yourself up about it. Saying okay, I’m celebrating the fact that I’ve noticed that I’ve taken a few steps back and that I’ve gone back to old behavior. And something that has really helped me, I actually learned this in a meditation when I was at a retreat.
The woman who was walking us through the meditation was talking about how our mind is going to wander. If any of you guys have meditated, you know – I know my mind ends up in like, 50 different places and sometimes I’m like, how am I thinking about Suzy Joe’s mom’s cousin right now as I’m sitting on this mat trying to meditate?
But anyway, what the instructor was saying was when you notice yourself wander off the path, I just want you to notice it and I just want you to bring yourself back and say I’ve noticed you’ve wandered off, let’s come back to the path and get back to our mat and our meditation again.
And so what I started to do was to apply this method to my life, to my business, to my relationships, and started to see that setbacks weren’t really going backwards. They were just wandering off the path and that I could gracefully and lovingly bring myself back and not make it mean something has gone completely awry and wrong and that I’m just an awful person and all of the things.
Now, the next piece of this is like I said, seeing this as a forward moving journey. So even though sometimes I’ll have old negative belief systems or limiting belief systems come up in my life, things that I used to be challenged with come up randomly, I actually have learned to associate it with a step forward in a more powerful direction or the fact that I’m up-leveling because normally, that wouldn’t come up again unless I was doing something uncomfortable, unless something had changed, unless I was walking down this journey or down this path.
So I want you guys to start to think about your journey of growth as just a forward moving thing. And there’s no such thing as like, starting over. You’re just on a journey walking forward and everything is an opportunity to learn and everything is an opportunity to grow and every time you step off the path, it’s an opportunity to lovingly bring yourself back and keep walking forward.
And if you do that, there will be no setback that keeps you down, and there will be nothing that keeps you from moving forward because you’re creating an atmosphere and a space for yourself to continue to grow and to accept and see that this is a part of the journey.
I think sometimes with growth, people think like, they’re going to have this like, rebirthed moment and they’re just going to wake up one day and everything’s going to be fixed and it’s going to be perfect. And that’s not how this is. When you are on a journey of growth, when you are on a journey of living your best life, there will always be opportunities to grow.
And that, to me, has become the fun part about it. The fulfilling part about it. I am grateful for the rest of my life; I am a work in progress. That is fun, that is exciting, and trust me, on the days where shit hits the fan and I have setbacks, it doesn’t mean that’s my immediate thought but that’s what I work to get to, knowing that this is a journey, knowing that this is what helps me grow into the woman I’m meant to become, and knowing that there’s literally no such thing as a setback.
Only a step forward and potentially a step off path, and an opportunity to learn and grow and bring myself back. And I want to challenge you guys to do that because I’ll never forget too – this is a perfect example. When I was obsessive guys, I used to have mentality challenges and issues with my physical fitness, and I’ll never forget I always used to like, start on Monday and start over.
And when I started to just accept that this was a process and a journey and that I was just working on living in my best health and so many other pieces, which I’m sure I’ll get into on another podcast episode, I just started to realize that it wasn’t about starting over, that I was just walking along this path and I didn’t have to beat myself up.
And what was actually interesting is when I started to see it that way, I stopped – you know how sometimes when you’re like, I’m just starting on Monday and you throw everything out the window and just totally go to like, old behavior? It stopped me from doing that because I was like, I made one bad decision, now I can make a good one because I’m just walking forward on this path.
There’s no such thing as backwards. There’s no such thing as starting over because every single part of your journey is important and it’s happening for you and it’s happening because it’s meant to help you grow. And when you do have challenges, when you do go back to old limiting belief systems, it’s just a new opportunity to grow.
It wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t. And if you approach it that way, you will have a fulfilling journey towards living your best life, and when you do fall off track because you will because you’re a human and it’s a part of this work, you can see it as a positive thing. You can see it as an opportunity instead of a setback.
So maybe we’ll rename this like, setforwards. There’s no such thing as setbacks, there’s only setforwards because you’re only going forward, you’re only looking forward and you’re only looking to bring yourself back to the journey of growth and being a student of that forever.
I love you guys; I hope that helps when you fall off track. I am so grateful for each and every one of you and I cannot wait to talk to you next week. I love you guys. Have a beautiful day. Bye.
Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.