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[SCEO] 11: Discomfort – The Necessary Stepping Stone to Success

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This week’s topic involves some really hard work for our minds, but mastering it is so worth it in driving you forward towards your life goals. On a previous episode, we discussed the impact of small decisions and the results they can yield in your business. Today, I want to dive into the big decisions that you want to be making!

Taking big actions and going after our dreams in any area of our life brings fear to the surface for a lot of us. It stops us from going after what we really want.

Growing is HARD…

But nothing worth having comes easy, and changing your decision-making process is no different. This week, I talk about why your fears about stepping out of your comfort zone may be valid and give you the tools you need to do push through fear and discomfort and achieve any goal you set!

If you would like an opportunity for a free coaching session with me, recorded and aired on the podcast as a bonus episode, follow the instructions HERE to rate and review the podcast on iTunes. I am so grateful for those of you who leave a review and who are open to being coached!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • The hardest part about growth.
  • Why stepping out of your comfort zone is so uncomfortable.
  • What you can discover by challenging your fears.
  • Why we need to change the way we make decisions.
  • How to really go after your heart’s desires.

Featured on the Show

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hey, how are you guys? I am feeling so amazing today. I am just knocking out all of the things on my list. It’s a beautiful day, and it’s actually so funny because yesterday I was just in a huff. If that’s even a thing. I was pushing myself a little hard, it didn’t create the space that I needed, and I think some of you can relate when you’re trying to create something and you’re forcing it, it just really doesn’t work.

So I started my day with some reading, meditation, getting outside, and I am not joking you, it seriously made the whole difference. So I’m so excited to be here in this energy recording this podcast, and I just wanted to share that little piece with you guys about yesterday because I think sometimes we think or we look at other people who create the lives that we want or whatever it is, and we think that they don’t struggle or they don’t have moments like that.

And I’m telling you guys, yesterday I felt like a little kid who wanted to just sit on the ground and pound her fists and say that things weren’t working and she was frustrated and all the things. So I have those moments too, and I also know that I’m totally in my head and not in my heart, and so that’s why meditation and journaling and reading really helps me get out of those spots.

So anyway, I’m so excited to be here, I’m feeling amazing, I’m pumped about some of the things I’m creating in my business, and I feel really inspired to talk to you guys today. So I’m so excited to jump in to today’s topic, which is the reason why growth can be so dang hard sometimes.

So I don’t really like to make things hard or say they have to be hard, but I do think it’s really important for us to understand why our minds work the way they do and why sometimes getting to that next level or taking that next step can be so challenging.

And here’s what it is: ultimately, in order to change our lives, we have to change the way we are making decisions. And when I say decisions, I think I’ve talked about this before, but I mean how we’re processing emotions, how we’re making physical decisions out in the real world, how we’re taking actions, how we’re dealing with circumstances, all the things. We have to change the way we’re doing that.

So if you think about it, the way we currently make those decisions and process things in our mind is what creates our current results. So in order to create a different result, we have to change those things. And that usually – I’ll be honest, and I’ll prepare you guys for this – feels like a stretch. And it should. Because you are about to change the very thing that has created the comfort zone and the space that you currently live in now.

So I was joking with my coach this week that I was feeling like I’ve been really stretching myself and I’ve been up-leveling and growing to new heights, and I’ve felt the growing pains and I’ve felt the stretching, and I joked with her that – I was like, “Does this ever end?” Because at every level, it still happens.

And here’s why: it’s because I have created my current reality off of my current process of decision-making. And in order to change that, I have to stretch myself to new levels and that requires stretching and making tough decisions and doing things that I’m not used to doing, which will feel uncomfortable.

And if you keep growing and you keep stretching, you will keep doing that. So I started to look at every time this happens as an opportunity to see that I’m on the brink of growth because I feel uncomfortable because I feel myself stretching, and that is an amazing thing. So for any of you guys who are continuously growing or just starting down this path, if you feel yourself stretching, if you feel that discomfort, I know sometimes it can feel very frustrating and uncomfortable, but you can choose to see that your dream life or that next level is right on the other side.

So here’s the thing: our mind is used to making decisions a certain way, and it becomes comfortable. And so whenever somebody goes to invest in a program or take that next step, or put themselves out there in a relationship, and they feel fear and they experience all the thoughts that are telling them that this is wrong, they shouldn’t do this, that this is scary, it is doing it, your mind is doing it because it’s trying to keep you exactly where you are because that’s the comfort zone that you’ve created for yourself.

So the hardest thing about this is the very decision that you were going to make that makes you feel uncomfortable, that the reason why you’re not going to want to make it is the exact reason why you need to make it. So whatever your mind tries to tell you when you go to make a new decision, when you go to get out of your comfort zone, when you go to take that step and invest in that program and stretch yourself, the very thought and the very fear that comes up within you is the exact fear and thought that has been holding you back from getting to the next level, right?

Because it makes perfect sense. Because if your mind is already comfortable with your current level of decision making, when you go to do something different, your brain is going to be like, “Oh my gosh, there’s impending doom out there.” It’s not always reality. I mean, most of the time it’s not. It’s just our brain trying to protect us and keep us comfortable.

So whatever comes up, whether it be a legitimate circumstance that might get in the way, right? Like, I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough time, I don’t have x, y, z, whatever it is. Or the fear of I’m not good enough, who am I to do this, why do I need to do this, why don’t I just let somebody else do this. All of those thoughts are the things that are keeping you where you are.

So that’s why taking that step and getting out of your comfort zone and making that decision is so hard because the very step that you’re going to take is going to be about coming up against the thing that has been holding you back. But here’s what is so freaking cool and amazing about this, is by making that very decision, you make a huge transformation in itself because you decided that that circumstance, that thought, that fear is no longer going to dictate your decision-making process. It’s no longer going to hold you back from going after what you really want in your life.

So in that moment, you explode forward because you’re saying, yes, I see the fear, I see the thoughts that are holding me back, and I’m deciding to do what my heart really wants to do anyway. deciding to take that step outside of my comfort zone. And now you’ve created an entirely new path, a new process to go through when that fear and that thought comes up again.

So this is what I’m always telling my clients and the people that I serve and all of you guys is that when you go to make a decision that you really want, right? There’s a difference, it’s not like I don’t want to run around naked outside. That’s a really crazy example, but because I don’t feel called to do that. But I do want to invest more in my business, right? That’s what my heart is pulling me to do, to serve more people, that’s the next level.

And when the fear comes up of what could go wrong or what could happen, that is what is going to keep me from getting to that next level. It’s not the actual money, it’s the thought process behind it. It’s the fear behind it. When I go to do that and decide to do it anyway, decide to do what my heart is really calling me to do, I’ve built a new path. I’ve built a way around the excuse, the justification, the circumstance and the thought that’s holding me back.

So whenever I’m on consults and whenever I’m coaching people, and for all of you listening, I straight up say the reason why you’re not going to want to commit to coaching, invest this money and invest your time and energy in this is the exact reason why you need to. Because it is the exact thing that is keeping you from getting what you want in life.

And when you can heal that part of yourself, when you can go through that process, you’re also going to know how to do it when it comes up in other areas. So say for example, someone goes to invest in coaching. And the thing that they’re really struggling with is making themselves the priority in their life, making their happiness, their joy, their dreams a priority.

And so naturally, if you think about it, investing money, time, energy, and resources by hiring a coach or by investing in a program is saying I’m willing to make myself the priority, which is the exact thing that they’re struggling with. So the way that you grow through it is to make the decision anyway, to say this is so uncomfortable. In fact, it should feel uncomfortable because if you already knew how to do it, you’d be doing it, right?

And that is where transformation takes place. That’s why when a lot of people take that step and get out of their comfort zone, huge, amazing things happen because they’ve changed this decision-making process just by making one powerful decision for themselves.

And that’s what’s so cool is before I talked about how small decisions impact every single, like, result that we get, and then you do. But these big decisions we make to get ourselves out of our comfort zone are the things that will ultimately create a new pathway, a new way of thinking in order for us to create the result that we want in our life.

Another example of this is so many people are fearful and focused on the lack of income or money they can produce in their business or in their life. And that’s something that I help clients with is create and attract money into their world and create businesses that have an abundance of money.

And so the fear that they have, the thought that’s holding them back is like, what if I don’t make money? What if I put myself into the ground or into debt? Right? That’s the fear that’s holding them back, to take the step and hire someone that’s going to help them stay committed to creating that and investing money is going to bring up that exact fear. But their willingness to do it, their willingness to make that decision despite the fear, despite all of the crazy thoughts that try to keep us safe is what is committing them to that process and that new way of thinking.

So I think this is so important because anything that you’re feeling called to do in your heart but your mind is getting in the way and that your thoughts and your fears are all keeping you stuck, the exact decision that you go to make is going to bring up those fears, and if you decide to do it anyway, your life can change.

You no longer will have the same thought process or the same fear. It might come up again, but now you’ve created a path and a way to move through it. Now you know that my mind is telling me this fear that my mind is trying to hold me back and keep me safe and where I am because that’s what’s comfortable, that’s why I’ve gotten where I am because I’ve made decisions this way, and if I want to change things I have to do it differently.

So I think it’s so important to see this because if you can see that when you go to make a decision you feel in your heart you really want to make, that you know it’s going to feel uncomfortable and it’s going to stretch you, but it could be the very thing that heals you, that helps you create that new path, and ultimate create the life of your dreams, and that’s what I’m all about.

I want to help each and every one of you who is listening create the life that you truly deeply want. And I always tell people, if I listen to the crazy thoughts, to all the fears that I had in my mind, I would still be sitting at a desk. I would still be stuck where I was.

So if it feels uncomfortable, that’s amazing. It should, and make the decision anyway because that is what will change your life. So again, the exact reason why you don’t want to make the decision that your heart really wants is the reason why you need to make it, and that’s how you heal that, that’s how you learn, that’s how you grow.

This work is not always easy. It’s hard, it stretches you, but this is why not everybody gets to live their life of their dreams, and this is why you’re here listening because I want to stretch you guys, I want to push you, I want to help elevate you to that next level.

And it still happens to me at every level, right? Just like I said, I laughed with my coach, I said, “Is this going to happen forever?” And it really is. I can expect it to, and not in a way that it has to be hard, but in a way that I know it’s going to stretch me at every level.

If I am committed to growth for life, which I am, I will always be stretching myself to new levels. And it will feel uncomfortable because if I already knew how to create what I was wanting to create, I’d already be there. If I knew the way to get over the fear and the mindset and the stretching and the decision-making process, I would already be there.

So that’s why this process of growth is so important in making those decisions so you can strengthen that muscle and grow and get to that new level. So I love you guys, and I know how challenging it can be to keep stretching yourself, but that is how it should feel.

So welcome it with open arms, see that it’s amazing that you’re willing to take that step, and know that make the decision your heart really wants anyway. From abundance, from love, from what’s possible, not what could go wrong, not from your fear, not from those limiting beliefs. Because those things are why you are where you are right now.

That was a mouthful. So I love you guys, I hope you have the most amazing day, week, month, year, whatever it is, and thank you so much for tuning in. And I would be so honored and grateful if you could pass this along to somebody who needs to hear it. And leave me a rating and review. I have been so blown away by the things you guys have had to say, and if there’s something you want me to coach on or talk about, put that in your review too. I would be so honored and grateful.

I’m always coming up with ideas, but I want to serve you guys in the most powerful way possible. So keep doing the soul work, all my Soul CEOs, thank you for being here and I will talk to you guys next week.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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