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[SCEO] 31: How to Create Opportunities by Saying No

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Are you currently saying yes to things in your life that aren’t necessarily what you really want?

There are so many reasons we stay in this place – out of comfort and fear a lot of the time – but today I want to highlight this concept to help you realize that by saying yes to these things, you’re also saying no to what could possibly be your dream life.

Closing the doors on familiarity and facing the fear of the unknown is super scary, but working on pursuing your dream is what I’m here to help you with! No dream life or business was built on being safe and comfortable, and I’m showing you that the leap is going to be so worth it.

Join me on this episode where I provide lots of questions for you to ask yourself to determine if you’re hiding from fear or if you’re ready to face it!

Hey, girl! If you’re ready to work with me to grow your business, I wanted to tell you about my new program, Mango Magic Business Academy! We’re going to combine mindset, action, business strategy with mastering the belief and being in the energy of the person who has the results that you want. See you there! 

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • How to know if you’re stopping yourself from saying yes to the thing you really desire.
  • What to ask yourself to determine if you are keeping doors to opportunities closed.
  • How to build trust in yourself and in what is possible.
  • What you have to believe to get where you want to go.

Featured on the Show

  • Download my killer workbook to help you unleash your Alter Ego!
  • Don’t forget to grab your free training of my High-Vibe Formula (how I created a multiple six-figure business, attracted the man of my dreams, and created a life with complete time freedom…in less than 18 months)!
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you all? I sing sometimes into my microphone when I say hello. I’m like a total dork. I think that’s sometimes the part of me that I like, I try to share on social media but I’m not sure it really comes through. Like, while yes, I like things to be and look a particular way and I like to dress up and do all the things, I am also like, a major dork.

And totally clumsy. Like, I am for sure the first person at a party to spill my drink or I mean, I don’t really go to parties anymore but you know what I mean. At a gathering, I’m the first person to spill on myself or at like a fancy dinner, definitely spilling on myself. Totally going to happen. And I try to give that to you guys because I never want you to think that you have to be anything different than you. Just the less scared version of you. You’re allowed to be clumsy, you’re allowed to be silly, you’re allowed to be successful and everything that you want to be, and I’m a total dork sometimes and I do embarrassing things all the time.

So anyway, kind of got off on a tangent there, but not only do I want to teach you guys about things in mindset and business on this podcast, but I want to share all of myself with you. So anyway, I actually had one of my followers reach out and just ask if I could cover something, and I thought why not. Now, I can’t guarantee if all of you guys do that that I will be able to, but I am open to ideas. I mean, I have like a huge list of all the episodes that I want to record and I keep it going as inspiration hits me so I have lots of stuff. Plenty of things to talk about, but if you guys have something that you specifically want to hear about, I’m happy to hear suggestions. Share it on your story, tag me in it, whatever you need to do.

But anyway, this beautiful lady is so, so amazing, and she asked me to talk about closing doors in our lives. And I think this is such a powerful thing and something that I talk about in my Mango Magic Business Academy a lot actually. And it relates to this other topic, which was very interesting that I had written down on my podcast episode list so I’m going to cover it all at once.

And basically, what I want to cover is this idea that sometimes saying yes to things – actually always saying yes to things means saying no to other things. So what I mean by that – even good things, right? Even amazing things. Saying yes to them means saying no to something else, which is amazing. But also it can mean saying yes to something that’s comfortable means saying no to something that’s amazing, something that’s next level.

And so this idea of kind of closing and opening doors, what I mean by that is by keeping a door open, that like, maybe you know you’re done with or that you know isn’t up to the standard of what you want or isn’t what you want for your life, by keeping that open, you’re keeping the next level closed. You’re keeping the other door of amazingness, of what you truly desire closed.

And so sometimes that in itself can help you see that while yes, closing a door in your life can be super scary, by not closing it, you’re costing yourself the thing that you really, really desire, and are you willing to keep the door open? Are you willing to keep saying yes to the thing that you don’t really desire and you really want to say no to the thing that you do? And that is the question that you need to ask yourself.

So how do you do that? How do you get through that? So I want you guys to think about an area in your life where maybe it’s not quite what you desire or where you keep saying yes to something that like, you know you should probably say no, that you know doesn’t align with your dream life. And I want you to ask yourself, what are the fears that come up when I think about closing this door? What are the fears that come up, what are the thoughts that come up when I think about saying no to this thing, even when it feels like an opportunity in order to say yes to this next level? What comes up for me?

I want you to write out all of those things. I’d be willing to bet that most of them are fears if it really is that next level, if it really is that next thing, right? And I’ve talked about this before but when you make decisions out of fear, you’re strengthening your fear muscle, which means that you’re just strengthening this idea that you have to keep yourself safe and comfortable. And no dream life, no dream business is built on being safe and comfortable.

So then when you look at this list of why you keep continuing to pursue this thing that you really know in your heart isn’t what you want, you need to shift all of these fears to see that there is an opportunity behind all of them and that on the other side by closing this door, there’s something else, there’s another door on the other side, there’s another opportunity.

So the question that I want you guys to ask yourself next if you’re doing this work or if you’re thinking about this work is what would I have to believe in order to close this door? What would I have to believe to say no to this thing that even feels like an opportunity? Well, you’d probably have to believe that your dream thing, your desire is available to you. You’d have to believe that this opportunity is going to show up on the other side, which means trusting something that may not have happened yet, which is scary.

But I will tell you that that is the leap. That is the jump off the cliff that grows the confidence, that grows the inner trust within yourself that you’re going to make it happen, that you’re going to do it and that you believe. I always joke when people like, hire a coach or when they go all in on their business or they do something that’s really freaking scary, I always talk about how it’s like literally jumping off of a cliff and you have no wings and you’re trying to grow wings on the way down. That’s how it should feel.

There’s going to be fears. If there weren’t fears, you would already have what you wanted. So of course, closing that door is going to feel scary because your current life feels comfortable to keep that door open. But the way you build trust in what’s possible and belief in what’s possible is by closing the door and opening yourself to the opportunity on the other side.

So just to give you guys an example of this, a lot of my clients in Mango Magic, some of them work jobs and they also are working on their businesses. And some of them have gotten other job opportunities that are really great, that are really amazing. But they’re not what they truly want. And so they come to the table thinking like, oh my gosh, I got this amazing opportunity and while yes, I’ll celebrate them for that, I’ll ask them, is it really what you desire? Is this the next step to what you really, really deeply want for your life? And all of them are building businesses so of course, maybe that opportunity isn’t it, right?

And so like, and what I mean is it might take away time from their business, it might get them more involved. But by saying yes to it maybe they get a raise, maybe they get all of these things. And so they have this fear of like, I’ve gotten this opportunity and I could make more money, I could have all these things, but when they really look at it from a place of is this what I desire, the answer is no in this particular instance. Which means that by saying yes to this opportunity, they’re saying no to their dream life.

And that’s how I ask you to weigh these things. That’s how I ask you to weigh everything in your life. By saying yes to the things that you’re saying yes to, are you saying no to what you really desire? If you had what you really desired on the table, would you still choose this thing? If the answer is no then you know you’re just doing it out of fear. You know that you’re keeping the door open out of fear that you won’t get the thing you want, which builds faith in the lack of belief.

And what creates the amazing life and the amazing business and the amazing things that you want in your life is believing that you can have it and that you will have it. So that is the question I ask my clients, my people, my network, and that is the question I’m asking you today is what doors in your life are you keeping open out of fear? What things do you say yes to when you really don’t want to, when you kind of have this deep feeling like, this isn’t really what I want but it seems on the surface to be better, and what does that mean for what you truly want? By saying yes, by keeping the door open, what are you saying no to? What are you keeping the door closed on?

This can actually happen a lot with people in relationships too. They might find somebody that they like and they get along and it’s great but they might have that inner feeling that something’s missing, it’s not quite what they want, all the things. But then they have the fear like, what if I don’t find anybody better? The reality is you’re building faith in the fact that you don’t believe there’s going to be someone better. And by continuing every moment of every day to saying yes to this relationship or this person, you are saying no to the opportunity of meeting your dream person.

And while yes, it can be really painful and really hard to close doors, that is about letting a version of yourself go. That is about letting a version of yourself die and like, releasing that, and that’s how you elevate the next level. So for me, another way that I envision this is that by holding on to things out of comfort and fear, I envision that I’m holding on to like, a hot air balloon with one hand and weights in the other. I envision that keeping the door open, saying yes to the things that I don’t truly want is like holding on to weight and the balloon could float me upward and I could have everything I desire, but by holding on to these weights, I’m not going anywhere. Letting go of the weights is painful and hard, they feel like they need to be there, they feel like they need to say that they’re a part of you, but they keep you from getting to the next level.

So I want you guys to think about what doors in your life are you keeping open that you want to close. What fears do you have about closing those doors and what would you have to believe and trust within yourself to start closing those doors? To start saying no to those things so you can start saying yes to your dream life, to your dream business, to the things that you truly desire. Your dream life is on the other side of that.

When I started doing that, amazing things started happening, and these things also impact your vibe, right? They impact the way you show up. I really want you guys to think about that and I really want you to ask yourself those questions for anything in your life that you feel like you’re saying yes to that you’re not like, hell yes, this is absolutely what I want to do, this is everything that I desire. Figure out why you’re doing it and then create a new story for you to say no so you can say yes to the things you really want.

So I love you guys. Amanda, I hope you loved this episode. Share on your Instagram story or anywhere when you listen to it. Give me your feedback. I love to see it and I hope you guys have a beautiful week.

Hi guys, so really quick, I wanted to make sure you knew about the next program that I’m offering right now. So many of you guys have been reaching out to me and my team and asking what is available to you, how can you grow more through working with me, and this is my next big thing. I have poured my heart and soul into creating it and I’m so excited to share it with you guys.

So one of the things that has made me so successful in business is the combination of mindset, belief, and action, and pulling all three of those things together into one. Like, I literally call it my magic, it’s my gift, and it’s what I powerfully do for my clients in their businesses because we can’t just have mindset and not take the action or not have the belief, and we can’t just have the belief but not take any action or not have our mindset in the right place. Or you really can’t just take action and have your mindset out of whack or have your belief off.

So it really takes all three things to grow your business to that level, to that vision that you know is possible for you. So so many of you guys listening, I know you have this vision in your heart and in your mind for the business that you want to create and you feel like you have the potential and you know that it’s possible for you, you just need something to take it to that next level.

That’s what my Mango Magic Business Academy is all about. There’s a version of you who already has what you desire. The journey isn’t about becoming her, it’s about unbecoming everything that tells you you are not her. And that’s what this program is about. Combining mindset, action, business strategy with mastering the belief and being in the energy of the person who has the results that you want.

So if you’re interested in that, make sure to click the link in the show notes and it will lead you to a page with all the in-depth information about what the program is, how long it is, how much the investment is, and it breaks down what we will be teaching on and talking about. So I’m so excited and let’s make some more magic happen in your life and business. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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