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[SCEO] 42: When You Don’t Feel Like You Have a Choice

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A lot of times, it feels like we’re caught up in circumstances that we have no control over – they just happened and now we’re stuck. We have no choice, right?

Not a chance, ladies! You know I’m all about taking ownership of your life and why you want to and this situation is no different. We always have a choice in how we react to the world around us. We may not be able to change the circumstances but we can change our thoughts about them to work for us, not against us.

If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated or resentful of a situation or set of circumstances in your life, this episode is for you! Join me today as I talk about why we always have a choice and why that may be a difficult pill to swallow but, ultimately, freaking incredible news for our present and future happiness and success.

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • Why owning your choices is so powerful – even if it sucks in the moment!
  • How reconnecting to your desire, or why you’ve chosen to do something you don’t like, gets you your power back.
  • Why you always have the option of changing parts of your life you don’t like.
  • How your reaction to circumstances you cannot change can affect your experience of your life!

Featured on the Show

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you guys? I hope you are having a beautiful day. I know the holidays are getting closer and closer. I am so excited. I love the holidays so freakin’ much, so hopefully you guys are enjoying the holidays instead of getting stressed and overwhelmed by them.

And I just wanted to tell you guys again how grateful I am for all of you sharing my podcast episodes on your Instagram stories. Keep doing it. I love it and I love interacting with you guys when I can, so thank you, thank you, thank you so, so much.

So today what I want to talk about is the power of choice and the power to see that we are always choosing something. And this might be something that’s a little tough for some of you guys to hear because you might really hate your job or your boss, or you might be really angry at your aunt Sue or whatever it is, and what I want to teach you guys today is how to feel like you are actually choosing to do these things or be a part of these things so that you can actually choose something different or you can realign with your desires and why you are choosing it.

So one of the biggest things – I talked about this in one of my podcast episodes about taking ownership, but it’s something that I talk about a lot and having the power to choose is part of that. And the reason why it’s so important for me that I teach you guys this and that I talk about this all the time is because for me, every single point in my life where I grew to another level and when I started creating massive results is when I chose to take my power back and to feel like I had control.

Like, when I look back at the life that I had when I started down this journey, I was at a job that I wasn’t super pumped about, I was in a relationship that felt like something was missing, and I just felt like I kept getting stuck in this same spot. And the moment that I realized that I had power in this situation, that I was choosing to see it this way, and I was choosing the situation that I was in, it kind of sucks, to be honest, but it was the moment that I actually was able to do something about it, and that’s when my life changed.

And so what I want you guys to see is how we always have a choice. I know certain circumstances we can’t control, but we always have a choice in the way that we look at them, and then there are circumstances we can control and that we are choosing, but we feel like we have to choose them so then we don’t feel like we have a choice, and that’s what feels really bad.

So I see this come up with so many of my clients that they feel really stuck or frustrated or they feel resentful or whatever it is, and a part of the process that I take them through is identifying what they are choosing in the situation. So let’s just say for example, you’re at a job that you really hate or you dislike it, and you show up every day and you’re frustrated and you don’t like it and you don’t feel like you have a choice because you have to pay your bills, right? And it’s the holidays and whatever else, and you have to feed your family or whatever it is.

That doesn’t feel like you have a choice, and that, my friends, feels very, very bad. When we don’t feel like we have a choice, we feel like we are powerless, and feeling powerless is a really crappy feeling. But I’m going to show you guys how you have a choice in this. So my question would be, why are you choosing this? This job that you don’t like.

Just this is an example for you guys and I’ll kind of connect the dots on this, but your answer might be, well, I’m choosing it because I want to feed my family, I’m choosing it because I want to be able to buy presents for my kids, I’m choosing it because I want to get to this other position in my career or in my business.

Now you have power. You see that you are choosing it, which feels a lot better, and then you also see why. And what that does is it reconnects you back to your desire in the situation and why you are choosing to do this. And when you reconnect to that, you really can see why it’s important, and if when you identify that you realize that it’s not that important, then you also have the power to choose something different. Leave the job, go get a different one, go find a different employer, start your own dream business that you’ve been wanting to start.

And this is such a powerful thing because if you feel like you don’t have control, then you don’t get to do anything about it. But the moment that you can take your power back and see that you are always choosing something in the situation is the exact moment that you get to do something about it. So sometimes, like I said, it can feel really bad for your ego to realize that you’re choosing that crappy job or that thing you’re not happy about, and it’s because it feels much better to blame something or someone else on why you have to be doing it, but that will dissipate very quickly when you realize that you now have a choice, and then you get to decide.

So whether you’re in a situation that you’re not super pumped about or maybe you are, this can be powerful too, it’s always really important to look at why you’re choosing it and what you’re choosing about it. Because then you get to shift it, and something that I’ve seen drastic changes in clients very quickly where they have felt depressed and overwhelmed and they hate their job and nothing seems to be going right is when I challenge them to look at how they have power in the situation and how they have been choosing all of these things, and then they get to change their thinking about them to feel better and to feel good, or they get to make changes to their life, and that’s a really beautiful and amazing thing too.

So I really want you guys to think about the things that you’re unhappy about in your life or you don’t feel great about, and I want you to identify what are you choosing in this situation and why are you choosing it. Then I want you to look at does that feel good. Because now you get to choose to look at it different, if that does feel good. And if it doesn’t, what else do you want to choose and choose that.

How many times have I said choose today in this episode? I don’t really care. I want you guys to know that you get to decide, and again, this doesn’t mean that I don’t have empathy and I don’t feel for anyone and some of the circumstances that they’ve had. I totally get it. Sometimes things can suck but the moment you get to decide that you have power and that you get to make a choice is when everything can change.

I’ve used this example before and I think it’s such a great example, and it’s kind of a harsh example, but I said that there’s been people in the world that have gotten diagnosed with the same type of cancer and have been given the same amount of time left to live their life. Let’s say three months. And there have been people who have just suffered those three months and nobody blames them for that. I absolutely do not.

And then there’s people who had those last three months and they chose to make them the best three months they could possibly make them. They chose to make the most of it, even if it was really painful. And what’s so crazy is that the experience that they have is much different than the one of the other person who chose not to. And again, this is not me being inconsiderate or not compassionate for people.

I, again, like I said, nobody would blame someone for doing that. But they did get a choice. They didn’t get a choice with the circumstance they were dealt but they did get a choice with how they handled it, and that ultimately created the experience that they had. And I want you guys to know that I know there’s certain circumstances in your life that you can’t change, and there are many that you can. And you get to decide, you get to make a choice, you get to decide to be there and participate in this. You get to decide how you look at it and how you view it, or you get to actually change it.

I want you guys to know that you have that power, and that will be one of the most drastic transformational things that you could ever recognize or realize. So I love you guys, I hope you have a beautiful week and I will talk to you all next week. Bye.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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