[SCEO] 36: Why Confusion Is a Lie

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Feeling confused is one of those things where we aren’t always fully conscious of what’s happening in our minds, but let me tell you, it’s not a state that’s serving you in your life or business. What I want to dive into today is how confusion can spiral out into even more confusion, and how you can get out of it and go after what you want.

This episode is going to involve a little tough love and I hate to break it to you, but if you think you’re feeling confused, I’m here to tell you that you’re not. I’m sharing a story of a situation I was in recently where my trust in myself is a perfect example of why confusion is a choice and I hope this shows you a new way to think!

Join me as I explore the topic of confusion and how unhelpful it can be in your growth and in going after your goals! I’m discussing a new way to think when you feel that confusion coming on that will help you keep moving forward towards building the life that you desire!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • Why the feeling of confusion is a choice.
  • Why you don’t have to know everything to not feel confused.
  • How confusion can turn into a cycle.
  • Why staying confused can feel safe.
  • One thought to think to get out of feeling confused.

Featured on the Show


Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you all? I hope your week is going amazing. I am excited to be here. When you guys hear this episode, I’m actually going to be in Cabo. I think you have to say it like that. Like, Cabo. Sorry, I’m like, a total dork.

But anyway, I’m in Cabo for a retreat, learning and growing myself. Something that I consistently do in my business is invest in myself and invest in my own growth. How can I inspire you guys to do that if I’m not doing that myself? And I love it. I want to keep learning.

So I’m excited to be there, I’m sure I’m having fun in the sun. I’m just predicting what’s going to be happening and I’m sure I’m going to be getting mind-blowing, amazing transformations. But today, what I want to talk about is confusion.

I have found that a lot of us like to indulge in feeling confused, and it feels very, very real. And it’s something that I think is super powerful and super important for us to see, and I kind of did a podcast about saying I don’t know, which is along the same lines as this. But I think it’s really powerful because confusion is something that will keep us from getting to our next level, wherever we’re going.

And it’s so funny because Chris and I, we just had a conversation, my fiancé Chris is a coach as well. He’s amazing. Goodman Coaching, go check him out. But it’s really fun that we’ve both coaches because we will coach each other. We will have like – not even like, just coaching, but we’re like playing ping pong in our minds like, together, having amazing conversations.

Like, mulling over ideas and things and we just like, sharpen each other’s swords. It’s so fun. But we also have to be very aware not to coach each other all the time so we do this thing where we will ask, are you looking for coach Lindsey or fiancé Lindsey because sometimes you just want to talk to your significant other like, hey, I just want to complain about this, I don’t need to be coached right now, and sometimes you want to be helped through something.

So we have to be very conscious and aware of that because it can be really annoying if you’re not looking to be coached on something right at that moment to have your significant other try to coach you and be like, no, I just want to complain about this right now, I don’t need you to solve my problem or help me solve a problem.

So it’s pretty funny and I must say that I’m probably the worst about it. I’m like, ooh, let me help, let me coach, and we have to be really good about setting boundaries with each other on that. But anyway, sorry, that was a long story. But we were talking about this idea of confusion this morning and I was saying that I believe confusion is just a thought.

Confusion – I think everything comes from our thinking, obviously, and what we believe, but I realized that like, confusion – feeling confused and like, being confused is just the thoughts that we’re having, which means that we can choose to not feel confused anymore in any moment.

And so I just want to give you guys the opportunity that if you find yourself feeling confused and you don’t know what to do and you’re like, stuck in all this confusion, I want to give you guys your power back in this situation, and I know I talked about that last week to say like, okay, I’m the one creating this confusion. My thinking is creating this confusion. I’m not actually confused.

Because what I find is – this kind of goes back to ownership – is that if you’re looking for answers outside of yourself, you’re always going to feel confused until you find an answer outside of yourself. And that doesn’t give us the power to show up and do the things that we want in our lives when we don’t have answers.

So I’m not saying that it means that you have to show up and like, know everything. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be curious. It doesn’t mean that you can’t not know everything. That’s not the point. But what I mean by that is there’s a difference between showing up to questions with certainty and showing up to them with confusion.

So I’m going to give you guys an example of this because I think we can match confusion with certainty, and that doesn’t mean we have answers, but it means we have confidence and trust within ourselves to find the answers. So this is a really funny story. I actually was going to – my sister had her baby and we showed up at a hospital in the Chicago suburbs that I’ve never been to, and I walked in and I just started walking.

Like, I just started – I had no idea where I was going, and I just walk in, there was a front desk and I said hello to the women and I just turned and started walking. And one of the ladies that was like – got up and starting walking with me and she was like, “Do you know where you’re going?” And I said, “No, I actually don’t.”

She was like, “Oh,” she goes, “You just walked in so like, so confidently, I just thought for sure you’d been here before and you knew exactly where you were going,” and I was like, “Oh no, I don’t know where I’m going.” And she was like, “Oh okay, well, what are you looking for?” And she told us and she directed us.

But I thought it was really interesting because I could have walked in in an energy of confusion, right? I could have walked in like, I’ve never been here before, where do I go, where am I going to find this, I don’t know where I am, right? But instead, the reason why I walked in and she felt that energy is because I trust myself that I was going to find it. I was like, okay, I’m going to go look for a board and it’s probably going to say labor and delivery and then I’m going to go look at the number and I’m going to go find it, right?

And so it’s not that I like, knew. It’s not like, I just am all-knowing or that you guys are going to be all-knowing. It’s just that I trust myself and I have the thought like, I will find a way. The answers are available to me somewhere. I believe that I always make a way no matter what. These are just some of the thoughts off the top of my head, but I think that that’s the thing that we can show up with when it comes to confusion.

And I think it’s so easy like, I could sit – let’s just say there was no front desk and there was no board – no board meaning there was no sign telling me where to go. I could just sit at the front of the hospital and just like, sit there and be like, oh my god, I’m so confused.

Feeling confused does not inspire you to take action. It makes you feel more confused. And when you’re confused, it turns into this vicious cycle, spiral, and you’re just looking for answers but you don’t know how to find them and all of these things instead of like, just going and figuring it out.

And so what I was saying with all of that is I could sit at the front of the hospital and just be like, I’m so confused, I don’t know where to go and sit there and not do anything. And guess what? I’m not going to get where I’m going. I’m not going to find my sister and go meet baby Demi.

And last week I just spent a whole week with her, but it was a blast. But anyway, so you see, what I’m saying is that confusion is just a feeling that we’re creating by our thinking. It feels a lot safer for you to sit at the front of the “hospital” or you just sit in confusion instead of me walking around the hospital for maybe 30 minutes and not finding my way but then eventually finding it, right?

Like, not being in confusion creates space where there could be failure, where you could take an action and not get the right result and then you have to learn and you got to do something different. But the thing is that confusion just creates more confusion and thinking you’re confused keeps you from taking action and really it just comes from a place of fear. It just comes from your thinking. It comes from like, worrying.

Because I will tell you guys, this is a great example. If you were in a building and the building was on fire and you didn’t know – you were in this building for the first time ever and let’s just say the fire was at the exit door but you knew there was – you trusted there was some other way to get out, would you just sit there and be like, I’m so confused, I don’t know where to go?

No. You would be like, running around like you were on freaking fire and you would be looking for an exit and you’d be finding a way. This is such a great example because when you’re committed, when you are like, I’m going to find a way, I trust myself, like, even if I fail, I’m going to be okay, even if I do something wrong, I’m going to be okay, so you’re going to find a way and that comes from your thinking.

So I hate to break it to you guys, but you are not confused. If you feel confused, like, I’m sorry, but you’ve created that, and the only thing that you need to do is shift into a space of what do I need to think in order to not be confused, what would I need to believe about myself in order to not like, feel stuck in this confusion? And you might not know the answer, right?

Like, I don’t have the set exact path of how I’m going to create a multi-million-dollar business, but I trust I’m going to get there. And because I trust that I’m going to get there, like, I’m just going to show up and I’m going to keep doing the work and I’m going to try things. I’m going to try like, taking one action and I’m going to realize that maybe I didn’t know what I was doing there and I have a different line of thinking that I need to approach and try something else.

Like, I’m just saying all this to say like, if you are stuck in confusion, you’re the only one creating that and you need to own that and you need to take responsibility for that, and looking for an answer from someone else, somewhere else, is not going to create that inner trust and inner knowing in yourself and that confidence to find a way no matter what.

Like, I believe I can find a way no matter what because I’ve taken ownership of that. And it is such a good feeling that no matter what happens, like, I really think I’m going to figure it out. And so I really don’t get stuck in confusion very often because I just really believe it’s a choice.

So for those of you guys, when you get stuck in confusion, I want you to ask yourself that question, like, what would I need to think and believe in order to not feel confused, in order to just like, try something, in order to work on like, getting out of confusion. Because confusion is a choice and your thinking is a choice. It doesn’t always feel conscious, but that’s part of this work.

To pull it out of your brain and say okay like, what’s creating this? Because again, if you ran after – if you had a vision for your life and your business and you ran at it like you were on freaking fire, like, you’re like, I don’t know how I’m going to get there but I’m just going to like – I trust myself and I believe that like, I’m going to try something instead of letting it keep you stuck because you’re not going anywhere if you’re stuck in I don’t know and you’re stuck in confusion and you’re letting that like, dictate how you show up.

Like, I will tell you guys, it’s really funny when I started my business, everyone around me could feel my certainty. Before I ever like, did anything with my business, people knew I was going to get here eventually. And they knew that, that was just – not everybody was like, gung-ho, I want to clear on that, but like, a lot of people said like, oh, we knew you’d get there eventually, which is a lot easier to say after the fact.

But I will say that like, they knew that because that was just a reflection of my belief and my thinking. Instead of being like, I know what I want, I just don’t know how to get there. I’ve been there before too, don’t worry. But I was like, I know what I want my life to look like, like, let me try this, let me try that.

I just knew I would get there and the path didn’t look exactly as I thought it did but I didn’t let myself sit at the starting line being like, I don’t know how to get there, I’m just confused. I just built certainty. I just decided like, well, what would I do if I did know? What would I do if I did believe that I was going to get there?

And then I started taking action, and guess what, one day I woke up with the exact life that I wanted to create and that didn’t just happen overnight, obviously. I had to work on myself and who I became and how I grew and all of these different pieces, but confusion is not going to get there.

So if you feel confused, if you feel like you need to know more in order to take more action, if you need to feel like all of these things, it’s just you, and that’s okay. Your brain is just trying to keep you safe. Your brain is just trying to keep you from doing the wrong thing.

But I will tell you, I had to take a lot of wrong steps in order to get here, but trusting that I would always get there was the most powerful thing ever. So babes, Soul CEOs, all of you listening, you are not stuck in confusion. You are just stuck in your thinking, you are stuck in fear, and your work is to shift out of that.

So I love you guys, I hope you have the most beautiful day and I will talk to you soon. Don’t forget to share this on your Insta story. I try to save or share all of your Insta stories when you tag me in it and I try to reply to all of you. So if you want to interact with me, go ahead and do that and I will talk to you guys next week. Love you. Bye.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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