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[SCEO] 60: When Something Feels Bad

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Do you notice when you’re having a negative reaction to a circumstance? It could be your significant other wording a question in a way you didn’t like, your business launch failing, or someone saying, “We need to talk,” – and we all know those conversations never end well.

What we make things mean will ultimately dictate your perception of the situation, and in turn, give you the results from those actions. This week, I’ve got a powerful question for you to ask yourself in these situations so that you can gain awareness and curb those negative feelings that come up in your body.

Join me on the podcast this week to learn a mind-blowing question that will help you identify if your reactions are serving you, to get you what you want in life.

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • One question to ask when you’re having a negative reaction to a circumstance.
  • What I made it mean when my launches didn’t go the way I wanted them to.
  • Why identifying what you’re making something mean is crucial to your growth.

Featured on the Show

  • Join me for my upcoming live free training by visiting https://lindseymangocoaching.com/manifest.
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Soul CEO aha! moments!
  • Don’t forget to grab your free training of my High-Vibe Formula (how I created a multiple six-figure business, attracted the man of my dreams, and created a life with complete time freedom…in less than 18 months)!
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, happy May. Can you guys believe it? My mind is blown that it’s already May, which also means it’s moving month. I’m moving to California; I’m so freaking pumped. I’m sure you guys are tired of hearing about it but I just love taking you along on my life because here’s the thing, I’m going to tell you guys something real quick.

Moving to California and actually living there and living in a dream house and being able to see the ocean from my house has been a dream, but it’s been one of those things until I would say the last couple years of my life that like, was never really a possibility for me. It was never real. It was just like, oh yeah, that would be cool, but not a reality. Not something that I actually considered.

And so moving to California to me is what I continue to do as a human being and what I’m committed to doing, which is being an example that anything is possible, that your big crazy, insane dreams that don’t make any sense to anyone else, that even right now your mind might be like, yeah, that would be cool, but that’s not real life, is possible for you.

And I know some of you guys have moved a lot in your life. What’s the big deal? But it was such a huge decision to really just decide that we were going to pick up and move before our wedding and while we’re building businesses and truly live somewhere that we get to wake up every day and think oh my gosh, I can’t believe we get to live here and love it that much.

And that’s kind of what we realized. We love it here in Louisville, Indiana area, it’s amazing, but I feel like we’ve been living here based on default, other than being here for the people we love, that’s not default. We love them. But other than that, we just aren’t in love with it and most of the time in our lives, we just settle for things just because it’s the way that things are, it’s the way they’re supposed to be, it’s more comfortable to stay put.

And this is what this really means to us and this is why I’m sharing all of this with you guys and I share it on social media because I want you to know that anything is possible, that those things that feel so out of reach for you are possible for you. You can really have whatever the heck you want.

So anyway, I’m going to get off my little soapbox. Continue to follow our journey on social media. Make sure to tag me in your Instagram story if you’re listening to this episode. @lindseymango_ is my Instagram. I think most of you guys follow me.

And as I’m stepping off of my soapbox, I’m having this moment of what was I going to talk about. I just remembered. I kind of fly by the seat of my pants on these episodes. That’s why I love my podcast. So what I wanted to talk about today was a powerful question that again, I’m constantly talking to my Mango Magic Business Academy ladies, my Mango Magic Life School women about, and it is for any time you’re having a negative reaction to anything.

Let me just give you a few examples. Your husband says something to you and you react negatively, or you go to launch a program and you have all this pressure and stress on it, or your client says something and you make it mean something terrible about you, or I’m already kind of giving you a hint, but where you have this really negative story or somebody says we need to talk and you immediately jump into oh my god, what have I done wrong.

That’s definitely something I still have to practice not doing. Just to give you a background story, I don’t know if anybody in my life ever said we need to talk and it was for a good reason. Anyway, that’s beside the point. But what I want to talk about today is the powerful question that you can ask yourself when you’re having this negative response to something or you’re having this pressure built around something, or when somebody says something and you have this negative reaction or negative feelings come up in your body.

Are you guys ready? I hope this blows your mind as much as it blows my clients’ minds. The question is what are you making it mean? For all of those scenarios. Here’s the thing; the filter that we have for the world in our mind and that’s how we perceive things. And what we make things mean ultimately dictates what they do mean and how we react to them and the actions we take and what we do as a result of that.

And that’s what will end up dictating our results and then the perpetuating results because we see that as evidence and it continues to go forward. So I want to give you guys a really quick example of this. Last year, I had to do a lot of self-work on feeling like I was enough exactly as I was, with what I offered the world.

I know, it sounds crazy, right? But I struggled with it. I had all these challenges and all these things come up, and so any time I launched a program, I would be really stressed and I would build up all this pressure and I would feel all these negative things because I was afraid and all of the stuff.

And that’s normal. That still happens randomly. I might have a passing bout of oh my god, what if nobody signs up, which never happens. But it’s just my fear brain talking. And what I realized was last year, I was making it mean something if my launches didn’t go a certain way, and what I was making it mean was that I was less than.

I was making it mean more evidence to support the story that I wasn’t good enough or that I wasn’t good at what I did, or I was making it mean that people didn’t want what I was teaching or how I was teaching it, and that’s why I felt so crappy, and that’s why there was so much pressure and stress around the whole thing.

And this past year, as I’ve been launching, I opened up my Mango Magic Life School, which is available for all of you guys. Check out lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagiclifeschool. I freaking love this program. It has been blowing the women’s minds in it.

But anyway, when I launched that, it was the most fun launch I’ve ever done. And I realize what I stopped doing was attaching to the result but mostly making it mean something. I was just excited about the people who were joining and I didn’t make it mean anything about my ability.

And that’s what made it fun and exciting, that’s what made my energy behind it feel really good and aligned. And so I think what’s so important is so often when we go to do things or stretch ourselves, we have this negative reaction or all this fear, again, I’ve talked about fear. It’s normal, it’s part of stretching and growing, but what are you making it mean?

And figure out what that is because there’s always a lesson to be learned in that. And even if your husband says something that – maybe he was like, are you wearing that? Depending on how you react to it and what you make it mean is going to dictate how you handle it. I wear some crazy stuff like leopard shoes and – that’s not that crazy but Chris thinks it’s crazy.

He’s from Indiana, and I could make it mean something but I don’t. I don’t care. I love my style, I love my fashion, and it doesn’t bother me at all. So I think that’s the thing is really identifying what you’re making things mean, why they mean the things that they do, and working on shifting out of that.

That is going to change your life because when you can identify that, then you can be like, is this serving me? What else could I choose to believe? How do I want to see this differently? So I’m not making it mean this terrible thing about me that feels really crappy, that keeps me stuck for weeks and months, and instead I use it as fuel or I use it and say okay like, this is an opportunity to learn and grow, shift out of this and make it mean something different.

It’s just like if a client says no, you can make that mean that you’re going to fail or you can make it mean that you’re one step closer to your next client. Or if a guy says something about you that you don’t really like and you make it mean something terrible and that you’re never going to find the man of your dreams, then that’s going to feel really bad and what will that do to your actions?

Versus making it mean that he’s just not the right guy and that’s totally fine and moving forward from that. So really quick, I’ll tell you guys a quick story on how what you make things mean is really powerful. So I want you guys to imagine you got all dolled up and you were walking down the street and someone drove by and like, honked.

Like a trucker dude or something, a person, who knows. Let’s just say you think like, “Dang, I look good today,” the thought, what you make it mean could potentially be like, I look good, people are honking at me. You guys know I use crazy examples. So that’s what you made it mean in a positive way. It made you feel good; you got a little pep in your step. Maybe you were like of like ugh, but whatever, I look good today.

Let’s just say you have a really negative story about yourself and you feel like you’re always in people’s way and you look really crappy today. If somebody drove by and they honked, you might make it mean that they were making a joke about you or that they wanted you to get out of the way or whatever it is.

Now, the circumstance was exactly the same, but how you perceived it was completely different and that fuels and impacts what happens after that moment in time. And that is the power of what we make things mean. So I’m constantly asking people, I’m constantly asking myself this, and I want you guys to ask that exact same question. What am I making this mean and how can I shift it into something that serves me?

And that has the power to change your life. Alright, I love you guys, I’m so excited you’re here. I hope you have the most beautiful day, beautiful week, and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye, love you.

Thank you so much for joining me for today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you want to go even deeper into how to create a vision of the life you really want, how to become the woman in that vision and how to deal with the roadblocks we all face along the way, head over to lindseymangocoaching.com/high-vibe-formula to get your free training of my High-Vibe Formula.

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