Lindsey: Hi, welcome to The Life Coach Hotline. This is Lindsey Mango, your life coach. How can I help you?
Ladonna: Hey, I’m Ladonna. Thank you so much for taking my call. I wanted to talk to you today about really living out my dreams. I feel like currently I put so much stuff ahead of what I want to do. And the main thing is, I don’t think I have enough money to go do what I want to do.
Lindsey: Hmm. Okay, when you say I put stuff ahead of what I want to do, what do you mean? Like in the future?
Ladonna: Yeah, so my big thing I want to do is I want to live abroad for at least two years. But I’m like, well, I should pay off this first, or I need to have this amount of money first. So that’s what I mean about putting it off.
Lindsey: Okay, perfect. So here’s my first question. If you were 100% committed to making that happen, do you believe you’re capable of figuring out a way?
Ladonna: Oh, I don’t know. So I guess, no. And I think because I don’t know anyone else that’s – Well, I’ve known influencers and stuff online that does that, but no one with a similar story of mine that’s done it. And then I really don’t know how I would make enough money over there to support myself. So I guess, no, I don’t believe I can do it, which is interesting.
Lindsey: Okay, so this is beautiful awareness, because when you don’t actually believe that you can do it, what do you end up doing or what do you tell yourself?
Ladonna: I spend a lot of time, I feel like, just spinning my wheels with the life I have now. Like I spend money I don’t have.
Ladonna: That creates more lack of money. I compare myself to others online. I daydream. I eat. And I don’t go after it, like I don’t even try.
Lindsey: Okay, how does it feel to just see that, that the core kind of like cause and what it creates is not believing that you can do it?
Ladonna: I didn’t realize that I didn’t believe that I could do it. So yeah, that is interesting, which makes a lot of sense why I haven’t made steps towards doing it.
Lindsey: Yeah. Okay, on a scale from 1 to 10. You said you don’t believe, but 10 being 100% you’re like, it’s done, I can do it and 1 being I don’t believe at all. Where do you think you fall?
Ladonna: Probably two or three.
Lindsey: Okay, perfect. Why?
Ladonna: I have significant debt that I don’t think I could leave the US without paying first for that. I don’t actually know if that’s true or not, but that’s what my mind is like, well, I have to pay off my school loans and all this stuff before I go live abroad. And that seems like it would take 10 plus years. And then I have the thought that I can only do it in my 30s, which may or may not be true.
And then the other part of it is, yeah, that’s probably the main part, is thinking that I have to do all this stuff before I can go do it.
Lindsey: Okay. So I have debt that I have to pay before I leave and I can only do it in my 30s. What would make it like a four?
Ladonna: I immediately go to I don’t know, which isn’t, I know, the correct answer.
Ladonna: What would put me up to the next belief?
Lindsey: Well, totally normal, right? Your brain wants to offer this because confusion is safe. But let’s go here for a second. If anything would work, and there was any way to do it, if there was any way to move it to a four, what ideas would you have?
Ladonna: I could look for a remote job.
Ladonna: I could sell everything that I own. I could try making money through photography internationally.
Ladonna: I would probably just put a shit ton of offers out into the world. Like just almost like a shotgun approach.
Lindsey: Okay. What are your thoughts? Like, how do you feel about all those ideas?
Ladonna: I feel nauseous.
Ladonna: That feels scary to me. And I think why it feels scary to me is, this sounds so stupid, but I have this feeling like if I tried that and people knew what I was trying, like living abroad, then people wouldn’t think I would make it. And when I didn’t make it, then everyone would know I tried and failed.
Lindsey: So what I want to just show you really quick just for the future when your brain offers you confusion, this is what your brain was trying to avoid you even looking at. It was like, “Ooh, that feels uncomfortable, we’re confused. We don’t know.”
Lindsey: Okay, how does it feel to see this now?
Ladonna: That does make sense. It’s like protecting me from feeling shame and probably like a failure. I mean, I feel like eventually something would work. I mean, it might not, it might take me a year plus, but something would eventually stick to the wall.
Lindsey: Yeah, you’re right. Especially if you just kept going and trying things until it worked.
Lindsey: Like it would be inevitable. How does it feel to see that?
Ladonna: I still think there’s some fear there. And I think mostly that’s fear of the unknown. Because I have been to Europe, which is why I want to live there, because I love it. But actually the idea of going over there and not knowing anybody and figuring it out, is a little bit scary. But I have been okay each time I’ve gone, so I think I would be okay if I did that.
Lindsey: Yeah. Well, and of course it’s scary and uncomfortable.
Lindsey: This is why we don’t see – Yes, we are on the internet, so it’s a little bit different now. But we don’t know that many people around us, typically, that are living their best life, right? It’s scary as hell.
Ladonna: Yeah. And then I immediately go to, well, I need to know what step to take next.
Ladonna: Because the debt thing feels very real. I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think I can just move to another country and avoid my debts. I think I have to, you know what I’m saying? I think I have to take care of that.
Lindsey: Well, if there were solutions to that – Let’s do a couple things. Let’s say that’s true, then what would be the solution to that?
Ladonna: I guess making a shit ton of money.
Lindsey: Okay. Yep, pay it off.
Lindsey: If it weren’t true, then what other paths are there?
Ladonna: I think you can, I mean I guess technically since I pay online, I could pay it while I was over there. If I had a monthly income to pay it.
Ladonna: So I guess I wouldn’t have to be in a certain location. Because I would still have a mailing address and stuff in the US, so all that would still be listed.
Lindsey: Okay, this is such a fun transformation to watch because it’s like your brain was so convinced of this, like it was a fact. And this idea wasn’t even available to you, right? I was like, well, wait a minute, I feel like they just want their money. So they don’t care where you’re at.
Ladonna: Yeah, they probably actually do not give a shit.
Lindsey: And that’s probably information you can find out like now, today. Like you could call.
Lindsey: Or Google or whatever.
Ladonna: Yeah. There’s probably a frequent asked question about it somewhere on their page.
Lindsey: Yeah, which I think this is so fun because this is such a great coaching session because it’s like, well, this is what happens. Our brain builds all these walls and we’re stuck in this little bitty room and there’s no way out. Instead of like, literally, there are a million solutions that were available to you that your brain couldn’t even see.
Ladonna: Yeah. Yeah, I can see them now.
Lindsey: All right, so what’s the first step?
Ladonna: I think committing to the belief, or committing to that’s what I’m going to do. Because I think I’ve been like, oh, I should focus on this, I should focus on that. Which I think there’s things that will go with that. Like, I’ve been working on trying to build my photography business and I think that will go with that belief.
Ladonna: But I need to commit to everything is going towards me living abroad.
Lindsey: What would make you commit to that?
Ladonna: I guess saying that I’m going to go live abroad.
Lindsey: Oh my gosh, how does that feel?
Ladonna: It feels very exciting. I’ve wanted to do that for like two years. But it sounds crazy to me. Like I don’t know people that just go live abroad. But I really want to go do it.
Lindsey: There are people, right? And also, even if there’s not that many, why not it be you?
Ladonna: Oh, I love that question. Why not me?
Lindsey: I mean, yes, I actually know somebody who moved their whole family to Italy and lives there full-time and all that. So there’s definitely examples. So use that as an opportunity to lean on that example.
But then also, I always love when I come up with an idea that I don’t think anyone else is doing. I’m like, oh, what an opportunity. I get to be the first. And think about, who knows the opportunities this will break open in your life.
Lindsey: People will be like, I know this girl Ladonna, she moved. Like I’m inspired. They’re like, can I do photos with you? Can I learn how you did this?
Ladonna: Okay, I’m excited. Thank you so much, Lindsey. I really appreciate it.
Lindsey: You are welcome. I’m so excited for you. I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.
Ladonna: Thank you. Have a great Monday.
Lindsey: Thanks, you too. Bye.
If you want to call in to The Life Coach Hotline, go to https://lindseymango coaching.com/lifecoachhotline. Talk to you soon. Bye.