S1.Ep30: Dating with 5 kids AND a business: How to do it all (EASILY)

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Do you feel like you’re too busy to make your dreams happen? What is it that’s getting in your way? And how might your brain be overcomplicating what has to happen for you to get exactly what you want?

Bethany called in to The Life Coach Hotline because she’s currently seeking more balance in her life. At this moment, she’s raising five kids, working part-time, dating, and trying to start her coaching practice, and finding balance just seems impossible. She’s taken giant strides towards her goals, but she still feels like she’s too far away to make it all happen.

Tune in this week as Bethany shares the lull she’s hit in launching her coaching business and why she believes she’s too busy to make her dream a reality. You’ll hear me coach her through the resistance she’s feeling around starting her business, and the mindset shift she experienced during our call.

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • The challenges Bethany is experiencing in finding balance in her life.
  • How anxiety and overwhelm are showing up for Bethany.
  • The resistance she feels to investing the time and energy necessary to launch her coaching business.
  • Why she feels like she needs more to start her coaching practice.
  • The peace and ease Bethany can now feel about starting her business.

Featured on the Show


Click to Read Episode Transcript

Lindsey: Hi, welcome to The Life Coach Hotline. This is Lindsey Mango, your life coach. How can I help you?

Bethany: I’m Bethany, and I just want a little help on how to find balance. I’m dating right now, I have five kids, I am trying to start a coaching practice to help women who are abuse survivors and I also work part- time.

Lindsey: Okay.

Bethany: So at this moment in my life, finding the balance and how to juggle everything, and the big thing is I have a lot of dreams and hope and everything, but transitioning from working part-time and taking care of the kids and the home and everything and then getting into this coaching practice is just quite a transition to be able to figure out the money and everything.

Lindsey: Yeah. As I hear you, I’m like anyone listening to this who thinks that they are too busy to make their dreams happen, this is a nice little gut punch for them because I’m just giving you my thought, but I’m like, that is a lot.

Bethany: Yeah.

Lindsey: Okay, well tell me a little bit more about that. When you say the phrase juggling everything or when you think about all the things that you’re wanting to do, what is the overall feeling you have about it?

Bethany: Overwhelm.

Lindsey: Okay, perfect. And why?

Bethany: Because I feel like it’s all on me to figure out how to take care of everything and everyone. So there’s anxiety and overwhelm.

Lindsey: Okay. And when you feel anxiety and overwhelm, how does that show up?

Bethany: I feel a little paralyzed. Like I have taken giant strides this year, I’ve done a couple programs and stuff to get me to the place where I can actually launch. But right now I’m kind of in a lull because I’m trying to figure out if I need more education or if – Really, right now I’m trying to figure out the timing. Like how to have time to launch a program, and then if I need more training to actually have enough to offer these women.

Lindsey: Yeah. Okay, there’s so many things. I’m like, first of all, you have – Not so many things, but I would recommend listening, I don’t know if you have, to any of the episodes, we have more coming out about coaches not feeling ready to start. One was with Miranda, I don’t know if you listened to that one, but I would highly recommend it because my first gut is like, you’re ready. You’re probably just scared.

Bethany: Yeah, yeah.

Lindsey: So there’s that piece of it. But let’s go back to kind of the anxiety, overwhelm, feeling paralyzed. It probably plays into this whole idea of maybe needing more in order to get started. It sounds like your brain is very much overcomplicating what actually has to happen for you to get what you want.

Bethany: Okay.

Lindsey: Could you see how that’s true or does that resonate?

Bethany: Yes.

Lindsey: Okay.

Bethany: Yes.

Lindsey: So my question is, what if it’s actually really simple for you to get what you want, like to date, work part-time, start your business, all of that?

Bethany: Oh, that’s wonderful.

Lindsey: How could that be true?

Bethany: Oh goodness, at this moment I’m not sure.

Lindsey: Okay, let’s start with one thing then. How could dating, because I think that’s originally what you had messaged in about.

Bethany: Yeah.

Lindsey: How could dating actually be really simple?

Bethany: Well I think if I am really solid on what I want, then I wouldn’t date around a whole lot. And actually, I feel like I have found someone since I signed up to meet with you.

Lindsey: Well that’s amazing.

Bethany: Right? Yeah. So I feel like I have attracted someone that is really aligned with me.

Lindsey: Did that feel hard?

Bethany: You know, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. I met him somewhere, which is crazy because I had been using a dating app.

Lindsey: Okay, this is so good.

Bethany: And actually I was dating someone else.

Lindsey: I’m like, oh my God, this is so good because that is how everything could feel. But I’m guessing before you were telling yourself, I’ve got to go on all these dates and I’ve got to be on these dating apps. And I’ve got to respond to all these messages and I’ve got to da, da, da, da, right?

Bethany: Yeah, for sure.

Lindsey: That felt very overwhelming and hard and all of those things, when in reality you just had to go out in the world and be you, your amazing self. And you created what you wanted. Okay, what if that’s true with your business as well?

Bethany: Oh wow, that’s a great idea.

Lindsey: Yeah, that is how easy it can be.

Bethany: Oh wow. Yeah.

Lindsey: But it sounds to me like you’re also even making the idea of getting started feel really complicated too. Like you’ve got to go get more things and do more things in order to even start, which isn’t true. I’m sure you already have value to offer, especially since it sounds like you’ve already done some work on this. But I’m just telling you, that’s not really coaching.

I think what matters here is what comes up when you imagine, like you could literally just start and you could start signing clients right now and it could be as simple as going out in the world and being the amazing version of you that you are.

Bethany: Right. That’s great.

Lindsey: Well, does anything come up when you think about doing that?

Bethany: I do feel resistance as far as wanting to invest the time and the energy that I know it’s going to take. And I think that’s where I resist because I know that I might have to say no to other things. Or that’s the mindset that I’ve had because I spent, I don’t know, a couple hours talking to this guy on the phone, which is amazing. We don’t ever want to hang up. But I know that I’m probably going to have to give up some time in order to do the coaching thing too.

Lindsey: Is that serving you?

Bethany: No.

Lindsey: I’m just going to challenge this. Like, yes, 100% we all have – The circumstance is 24 hours a day, you have so many hours you want to sleep, right?

Bethany: Right.

Lindsey: But what if it’s not necessarily true? Or the way you’re seeing it, what if it’s not true?

Bethany: Okay.

Lindsey: What do you think is going to require a lot of time?

Bethany: I think launching and finding clients is going to take a lot of time.

Lindsey: You know what launching can look like?

Bethany: What?

Lindsey: Hey guys, I’m a life coach who helps people with XYZ. If you know anybody, or if you are interested in having a conversation, reach out. In person, hey guys, I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a life coach and this is what I do. So if you’re interested in having a conversation, I do consults.

Bethany: Okay, yeah.

Lindsey: What are your thoughts?

Bethany: Pretty simple, yeah. Well, and I’ve thought about starting a local group with women that I already know, as kind of a pilot program to just try out what I would like to do online and just see how it goes. And maybe have some testimonials to be able to share and hopefully build some kind of audience online as well.

Lindsey: I don’t think you necessarily need that. I think the question you have to ask yourself is what is the reason behind doing it? Because you could start now and sign clients and do all of that without –

Bethany: Okay.

Lindsey: Like every coach starts without testimonials.

Bethany: Okay, I see.

Lindsey: It’s just a matter of are you doing it because you’re lacking confidence? I would check in with that because if that’s the thought, it doesn’t really necessarily matter what you do, right? Like it’s going to keep showing up.

Bethany: Yeah, I see. Okay. That makes sense, yeah.

Lindsey: And the same thing, finding clients, like I said, I’ve already stated this, but it could be literally as easy as finding this person that you just found to date.

Bethany: Okay. I need to transfer that mindset.

Lindsey: Yeah, because especially with everything on your plate, telling yourself it’s going to be heavy and hard and all of that is going to really – I mean that’s why you’re here getting this coaching, but it’s going to make it real complicated real quick.

Bethany: That’s true. That’s a huge mind shift.

Lindsey: It is. Because literally, I mean all of this is the case, but when you think it’s going to be overwhelming, hard, involve all this stuff, that’s literally what you do to try to create the results. And then even if you get the result, then you’re like, see, that requires all this stuff to get this outcome. Instead of like, for me, I just sign clients just having conversations in my everyday life without adding anything more when I first started.

Bethany: Okay, wow. And I guess it would be the same for money and everything else. It can be that simple, right?

Lindsey: Yep, mm-hmm. Yes.

Bethany: Okay.

Lindsey: This is truly what I work on in my life membership, is making it all this simple and clear and easy, because when it feels heavy and complicated it makes it all a whole lot harder.

Bethany: Right.

Lindsey: So how do you feel now?

Bethany: Peace. I feel like there’s the possibility of peace.

Lindsey: Yes.

Bethany: It could be as fun and peaceful as this relationship that I’m in.

Lindsey: Yes. And think about how magnetizing you’re going to be, if that’s a word, when you’re out in the world feeling like it’s that fun and easy and peaceful. Because I’m guessing all your clients probably think that it’s really hard and complicated and difficult.

Bethany: Yeah, for sure.

Lindsey: Thank you for calling in, Bethany. Anything else?

Bethany: Yeah, I mean that pretty much covers everything. I mean I think that’s what I needed to hear today.

Lindsey: So good. I love it. Well I know so many people are going to find value in it because I know so many of us like to make things hard or complicated.

Bethany: Right.

Lindsey: So I appreciate you calling in, and keep me updated on how everything goes.

Bethany: Well thank you so much, Lindsey.

Lindsey: You’re welcome, I’ll talk to you soon.

Bethany: Okay. Bye bye.

Lindsey: Bye.

If you want to call in to The Life Coach Hotline, go to https://lindseymango coaching.com/lifecoachhotline. Talk to you soon. Bye.

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