Lindsey Mango: Hi, welcome to The Life Coach Hotline. This is Lindsey Mango, your life coach. How can I help you?
Lindsey White: Hi Lindsey, this is also Lindsey.
Lindsey Mango: Love it.
Lindsey White: And I’m calling because I am also a life coach and I create content to market my business and I feel like it is the most valuable and authentic it’s ever been. But I still think I have some sort of thought that I haven’t quite recognized what it is but it’s basically saying that my content isn’t creating consults and the only way to get consults is to get people in the room.
My thought is people don’t know they want or need coaching until they actually get in a consult. So there’s a barrier between the content and the consult that’s not bridged. There’s a gap, needless to say.
Lindsey Mango: Okay, people don’t know they want or need coaching until you get them in the “room.” And when you say room, do you mean whether you’re talking to them in person or you sit on a consult, is that right?
Lindsey White: Yes, absolutely both. Like I feel like the consults I have gotten recently have been because I have reached out to people or specifically offered some free sessions.
Lindsey Mango: Okay, perfect. So let’s dig into this a little bit more just to bring more awareness. Obviously you’re a coach too, so I’m sure you have a lot of awareness around it, but let’s just kind of get curious about it. When you have that thought, how do you feel and how do you show up?
Lindsey White: Okay, I feel the thought come at the very end of my content when I say to sign up for a consult.
Lindsey Mango: Okay.
Lindsey White: Like I feel really good saying all the things, and then right at the end at my call to action I feel that thought come up and I can feel, like my spirit animal is a turtle and I feel my head like retracting into my shell.
Lindsey Mango: Okay, tell me more about that. Why? I know we are aware of this thought, but I just want to see if there’s anything else here.
Lindsey White: Why? I guess just right before I say it, I have a belief that whoever is watching doesn’t want to schedule a consult.
Lindsey Mango: Okay, because I think the thought you brought to coaching is something to dig into, but when you gave me the turtle analogy I was like, I feel like there’s something else here. And it makes a lot more sense when you say like, whoever is watching doesn’t want to schedule a consult.
Lindsey White: Yes.
Lindsey Mango: How does that feel in your body when you have that thought?
Lindsey White: It is disappointing.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. And I’m guessing you still offer the consult, it sounds like.
Lindsey White: I do.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. What do you think the difference is in how you offer that, like how you even say it? Like it might be the subtlest thing, like one slight different word. But how do you normally say it when that’s the energy you bring, when you’re like, whoever is watching doesn’t want to schedule a consult?
Lindsey White: So I trip over my words and I’ll say like, if this is something you’re interested in, click the link in my bio to schedule your first consult. And usually I’m very precise when I’m speaking my content, but as soon as I get to the call to action, I notice my words, literally like I’m stuttering, I’m skipping over words and I’m totally lacking confidence.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. Perfect. Great awareness. So I just want to take you to an alternate universe for a second where you only have Instagram followers who are obsessed with coaching, want coaching, want to hire you, love signing up for consults. Like sometimes I think about myself, I’m like, I love going to a new doctor or chiropractor or whatever and being like consultation. Like it’s so strange but I’m like, tell me what’s wrong with me. Like what do we need to fix here?
But imagine everyone’s like, ooh, I want a consult because I want to know how could coaching work for me? What would it look like to work together? This is amazing. How would you offer it differently in that scenario?
Lindsey White: The first thing that comes up is being like, this is possible for you. But then I’m already judging that. I immediately judge what I want to say. So my first thought is like, if you want this, like this is possible for you, let’s talk.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. Why are you judging it?
Lindsey White: I feel like, like who am I to say what’s possible for somebody? Whoa. Yeah, I think that’s it. Like, of course I believe it’s possible for them, but like, yeah, it’s weird. Why would I say it’s possible for them?
Lindsey Mango: So interesting. Okay, why are you the perfect person to say what’s possible for them?
Lindsey White: Because I believe it all the time.
Lindsey Mango: What else?
Lindsey White: I believe in my capability of showing them their alternate universe. I can’t think of another reason.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. Does that feel solid when you think about it from that lens?
Lindsey White: It still has me thinking like they aren’t going to know this till they actually get in the room, which is true. They’re going to recognize it way more, right? But it’s like, how do I get them there?
Lindsey Mango: Here’s the thing, we could argue all day long that people do know what coaching is or they do know that they want coaching. Let’s just say it’s true that they don’t know what it is or that they want and need it necessarily. What if they only have to know that they want more?
That was a thought I used to have, especially when I first started. I think like used to have meaning like intentionally had and now it just kind of is normal. Sometimes I’m like, yeah, I don’t think a lot of people know what coaching is. But I’m like, but everyone has problems or everyone has the capability of creating more.
So they don’t even need to know what coaching is. They just need to know that they want that. And I just need to make sure they know that I can help them with that. That’s it.
Lindsey White: Okay.
Lindsey Mango: What are your thoughts when I say that?
Lindsey White: I agree. When I think about if I’m able to speak specifically to a problem people have, that they totally resonate with and they see the possibility of it being different. When I envision that, I totally agree. Like they don’t have to know what coaching is or how it’s going to happen and all the things that come with coaching. But if I’m able to say one thing that they want to change.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah, does that feel different?
Lindsey White: It does. And I had this thought yesterday that like, if my content was layers, I am not the surface level layer, but my content is like the second layer of an onion. And there’s definitely areas I want to go deeper and I feel like I’m holding back in some way.
Lindsey Mango: Okay. Interesting. Why?
Lindsey White: I think it’s because I am a little bit impulsive with my content. Like if I have a great idea, I just create the content right away and share it. And I don’t really spend time on why am I sharing this? What message do I want to share, like on a deeper level?
Lindsey Mango: Okay. But maybe, is it possible that you’re already doing that? Like what if it doesn’t require that? Here’s kind of the general, I wrote a note down and I was like, okay, this feels like a part of this. It feels like you feel like you have to say the exact right things to get them to schedule a consult.
Lindsey White: Probably.
Lindsey Mango: Or to get them to get into action, which is probably when you were judging what you were saying. I feel like that was a part of it.
Lindsey White: Yes.
Lindsey Mango: Like I you only judge it if you have to say it the right way, otherwise you’d just let it flow. Like, are you judging what you say to your kids, right? It probably just flows out of your mouth and you’re not really thinking about it.
Lindsey White: Yeah, I think I’ve been looking for the right call to action.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah.
Lindsey White: And I don’t feel like I’ve found it and I’ve tried different ones.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah. But think about that, you’re trying to solve kind of the “wrong” problem here. You’re like, if I just say the right thing.
Lindsey White: Yeah.
Lindsey Mango: Which is all coming from the thought like, you know, people don’t want this or people don’t know that they want this or whatever variation of that thought based on what you’ve told me. So of course, you have to say the right thing if they’re the wrong people, right? Because you’re kind of trying to manipulate, not consciously, but like what you’re saying, how you’re saying, hoping that like, maybe if I say this.
Imagine for a second if you were on a date and you were having that thought.
Lindsey White: Yeah, that would be inauthentic.
Lindsey Mango: That would be so stressful, right? Like the whole time you’re like, okay, this person isn’t going to like me if I don’t say the right things.
Lindsey White: Oh, right. Which I totally used to be like that a lot.
Lindsey Mango: Oh, totally. Been there, done that too.
Lindsey White: Right. That is, like I’m a coach for people pleasers and that is like people pleasing 101. Like holding yourself to say the right thing to be liked, to be needed, to be loved. Like, yes.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah. So fun, which I always love when the thing we help people with is always usually the exact thing that’s coming up. So how do you help people through that?
Lindsey White: How do I help people through picking their mask off or not saying the right thing? I think one is getting comfortable with their own discomfort and letting other people be uncomfortable. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but that just came out.
Lindsey Mango: I think it does. Like, I want you to imagine if you just made an offer, however you felt inspired to say it. Like something that’s literally, it’s so funny how we complicate this, but I’m like, it can be something as simple as like, I can help you. Like if you want to jump on the phone for a conversation to talk about what that could look like, message me or – There’s people listening to this right now and they’re like writing this down thinking this is the right thing to say. But like just message me or whatever.
Like what is the discomfort you will feel if you don’t say the “right” thing?
Lindsey White: Yeah, the discomfort is that nobody’s signing up for a consult.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah, and what’s so interesting is that’s kind of – Not that that’s, I’m sure, I know you’re signing consults, whatever. But you’re obviously wanting to create more. So you’re already creating that reality by trying to make it right, like say the right thing. You’re already creating the result of the discomfort of people not signing up for consults.
Lindsey White: Right. So I’ve just got to let go of it. Like, just be okay with whatever I say. I can do that.
Lindsey Mango: I think the other thing is like, I always love the thought for like dating, for whatever, or signing clients, like you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
Lindsey White: That’s true.
Lindsey Mango: Like you literally can’t. It’s so funny, when I first hired a life coach, I don’t even know what she said. I don’t even know if we did a consult. I just remember sitting down feeling like, I just know I have so much potential but I don’t know how to get there. And I seriously think she was just like, I can help. And I’m like, okay, take my money.
Lindsey White: Yeah.
Lindsey Mango: The people who see potential in themselves, who want more, who don’t want to people please, who see even a little ounce of that possibility for themselves, they’re going to be like, wait, someone can help me with that?
Lindsey White: Right.
Lindsey Mango: What if you even thought they might be excited to schedule a consult with you?
Lindsey White: Okay, I’ll work on that.
Lindsey Mango: Here’s the hard part about, I think, marketing and content, like just all of that realm in general. Like this will apply to anyone when you’re speaking to massive amounts of people, if you have any sort of business, it doesn’t matter. When we are in a one-on-one conversation, you get feedback, right?
Like if you were at a networking event and you were talking to somebody and you could tell they weren’t interested in coaching, you probably wouldn’t go on and on and on and then make them an offer and all of that, right? Like you’d move on to another person. You’d have a human conversation.
But when it comes to the social media world, you’re kind of peeking out and there’s all these people and you’re not having individual conversations with them. And what happens is our brain picks up on the quote, like I would say like negative evidence it looks for to protect ourselves, blah, blah, blah, you know, all of that.
But it’s like, okay, I don’t want to be disappointed so let’s start assuming since no one’s responded, that nobody wants this so we’re not disappointed and believing that the possibility is out there and then our dreams are crushed when nobody reaches out. So then we start to think about all those people like they’re at the networking event that don’t care about what we’re talking about, who are looking around and blah, blah, blah.
And we’re like, okay, I got to do a little dance. I got to get their attention. I got to convince them that this is a great thing and that they need this. Rather than just thinking about like, perfect example, think about the version of you who first found life coaching or the version of me who was giddy and was like, wait a minute, what is this? This is like someone can help me? And like only thinking about that person when you’re showing up.
Lindsey White: Yes. You just summed up my life.
Lindsey Mango: Good.
Lindsey White: Yeah, I think what landed for me the most is like, you can’t say the wrong thing to the right people. And just, yeah, stop focusing – We’ve talked about this before, like stop focusing on the people who don’t want what you have to offer.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah. It’s tough though, right? Because your brain looks for evidence of, again, same thing, the fear, the lack of evidence, whatever. And then it starts wandering down that path, rather than, I’m guessing you probably do have evidence of people who are resonating with your stuff.
Lindsey White: I do.
Lindsey Mango: And so you could look for that evidence and then before you get on, just think about one of your best clients or one of those people and imagine you’re talking to them.
Lindsey White: Okay.
Lindsey Mango: What’s fun about this though too, I’ll offer before I let you go, is then you start to attract more and more people like that. And then it gets even more fun because then you get even more audience and people who do resonate with it. It kind of becomes just like a compound effect.
It’s actually, I’ll tell you this quick story and I’ll, our analogy and I’ll connect the dots. But sometimes I think about like I think I made a video about this once, but I’m like, okay, before Taylor Swift was Taylor Swift, she had to show up at every stage, at everything as though she was singing to kajillions of people, right?
Like if she showed up to like a smaller audience or when she first started and she was like, oh, I’m not that big of a deal. Nobody cares. Imagine how she would have shown up to the audience. And then if she kept showing up that way, the results she would have created over time, which she would have just stayed at that level, right? Or even like gone smaller and smaller rather than showing up like she was performing for the way that she would on the Eras tour right now. Raving fans screaming her name, like all of that.
And that’s the same thing here, is like if you imagine showing up to your Instagram audience or whatever social media platform you’re using like they’re all hollering your name, excited to hear from you, excited to work from you, like maybe they don’t even know they could schedule a consult with you, so you’ve just got to clue them in. How different that would feel and what compound effect and result that would create over time.
Lindsey White: Right. Okay. That makes me have the thought like, create this content as if I already have consults.
Lindsey Mango: Yes. Chills. Yes, exactly.
Lindsey White: Yeah. Okay, thank you.
Lindsey Mango: You’re welcome. And the other thing I’ll offer too, that might even, like this might scare you, but that might even look like maybe you don’t offer a consult every time.
Lindsey White: Okay.
Lindsey Mango: I mean, maybe you do. I don’t know, right? Your aligned action might look different, but it’s kind of fascinating if you were just booked out with consults, sometimes you might not.
Lindsey White: Right.
Lindsey Mango: And people will still reach out. Like it’s so funny now, being in the coaching world for a while, when I first started no one was coaching coaches on how to do anything. So I was just blindly doing whatever. I don’t even know if I ever was like, you can schedule a consult. Pretty sure I was just like, here’s something I learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And people would reach out to me and then I’d be like, oh, do you want to schedule a consult?
Lindsey White: Yeah.
Lindsey Mango: So that can happen. Thank you so much for calling in, Lindsey.
Lindsey White: Thank you.
Lindsey Mango: Yeah, you’re welcome. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.
If you want to call in to The Life Coach Hotline, go to https://lindseymango coaching.com/lifecoachhotline. Talk to you soon. Bye.
