Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hello, how are you guys? Oh my gosh, I am so excited to be here, especially after the three editions of the Chris and Lindsey show. This episode will actually be going live when we are on our honeymoon. So make sure to follow me @lindseymango_ to tag along.
I have to say that I was completely blown away by the amazing feedback we got from the episodes with Chris and I together, and we actually might be thinking about doing something together, so stay tuned on that. And I have to say that I thought that things were going to feel exactly the same.
I mean, Chris and I live together, we always knew we were going to spend our lives together, but I’m telling you, getting married, it just changed everything. I had no idea. So those of you who are married are probably like, oh yes, I get it. But it’s really cool. I’m just in wedding day bliss still.
We literally just got home Monday and it is Thursday today when I am recording this and I’m just – I was blown away too by all the love that you guys shared with my on social media. I’m just truly, truly grateful and honored and blown away by all of you and this life. I just feel so grateful.
So I was thinking about what I wanted to record today and we had three episodes about relationships and Chris and my relationship and all of that, and so I wanted to keep it along those lines, and I wanted to talk about how to attract your soulmate or your person.
Because I know a lot of you are married or in relationships, but a lot of you who follow me are looking for your dream person. And I feel like looking for your dream person and attracting them is like, the exact same process as attracting your dream clients or whatever it is, your dream job. It doesn’t really matter what it is. It really is the same process, but I wanted to do a deep dive on that part.
So how do you attract your dream person? Your dream man, your dream woman, whatever. It doesn’t matter. The biggest question that I ask myself and that I ask my clients when I’m working with them on this is who do you have to be in order to attract this person?
So what’s required first is to get clear on what it is that you desire, who it is that you want. Now, what I mean by this isn’t necessarily like, check boxes. Like, has brown hair, has these things. What I mean is how do you want to feel around this person?
What do you want to be important to them? Who are they? How do they treat you? How do they treat other people? What are their values? You first have to get really clear on what it is you want. And I will say that a part of that process is dating.
I know when I was in my early 20s, I didn’t really know what dating was. I would meet a guy, we would like each other, and then we’d get into a relationship. But I mean, really dating. Saying yes to dates with people that maybe you’re not sure if they’re the right fit or not, because what it does is it allows you to figure out what you don’t want, so you can really get even more clear on what you do want.
I think so often as women, we pick the guy and we just decide it’s him before really deciding like, is this the person I want to spend my life with? Do they have what I desire? Are they who I desire? Do they help me show up as the person I want to be?
So just remember that if you’re dating or if you’re having trouble finding the person that every single date you go on is giving you the opportunity to get one step closer to your person. And one step closer to getting super clear on who it is that you want.
So step one, get clear. What do you desire? What do you not want? What’s really important to you in your soulmate? Once you get clear on that, then what you have to ask yourself is like I said at the beginning, who do I have to be?
Now, what I think is really important about this isn’t that you’re supposed to be something that you’re not, and this goes for clients, this goes for anything. Usually, who you’re meant to be is someone who believes that they’re worthy of love. That they are enough as they are.
Maybe yeah, you could pick up your gym, go to the gym a little bit more, or do all these things a little bit more. And use that as a guide for your highest self. It’s not about you becoming who you’re meant to be because of them. It’s about doing it for you and knowing that when you step into that person, that’s when you’re going to be able to attract the right person.
So Chris and I always talk that if we met three years ago, I definitely wouldn’t have been ready for a man like him, and I don’t know if he would have been ready for a woman like me. And it took us growing, and you heard some of his past experiences. It took us growing through those to become the people we needed to become to be the right match for each other.
So it’s really important to understand that it’s your job to create your own happy. It’s your own job to create your fulfillment. And that’s where I think a lot of people miss the gap. If you want a love that is whole, that you both add a ton to each other’s lives, you first have to be whole.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to wait to date or find your person until you’re x, y, z. It means you just have to be in the process of becoming that person. So again, who do you have to be? What do you have to be focused on? How do you have to show up? What do you have to believe about yourself and the world? What do you have to believe about people?
Now, the next piece of this is how would you feel if you were in your dream relationship? What would you be thinking? What would you be feeling? What things would you be doing? Your work is about doing that now before you have the dream person.
I can’t tell you how many times I coach people or I talk to people and they’re like, you know, when I’m in love, when I have my significant other, I’m going to do all these things, I’m going to go out to dinners, I’m going to go to the beach, or whatever it is. And I’m like, are you doing that stuff now? They’re like, well no, I don’t have my person.
The only way you create space for the person is if you are showing up as the person who has space for that person. Now, it sounded complicated but you know what I mean? If your dream man or person goes to the gym and you go to the gym together, go to the gym for yourself.
If you are doing amazing things and going out to nice dinners, take yourself out to nice dinners. The best thing you can do is get yourself in to the energy of feeling the love that you would feel if you were surrounded by somebody who loved you the way you want to be loved.
It’s showing up and being the person that you ultimately want to be. I should go back to step one and clarify that if you are clear on who you want your partner to be, then I hope it’s a match for your highest self.
Now again, it doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect and you have to wait until you’re at the end of your journey. I grew so much with Chris together, but I had to become the person I needed to become to meet him and for our lives to intersect for us to meet at the perfect point.
So the question I want to leave you with if you’re looking for your soulmate, if you’re looking for your person is do you know what you want? Are you open and available for them? And are you showing up as the woman that you need to be to attract a man or a person like that? If you can apply those three simple things, it will change the way you date. And be patient.
I’m telling you guys. I’m 30. If I got married when I was 24, wouldn’t have been the right person. And I’m not saying if you got married at 24, you are with your soulmate, amazing. But just trust the process. I remember before I was 20, I always thought I’d be married by the time I was 24 and I’d have kids by the time I was 28.
And just like anything else, it all happened in perfect timing. I am so grateful I met Chris when I did. I’m so grateful that I don’t have kids yet. And I just feel like it’s such an important part of that process is to trust. To live your life and love your life because then you can invite somebody to come into it.
I actually remember, I screenshotted this literally a week before Chris asked me out on our first date. I screenshotted this quote that said, “Create your bliss and then invite somebody to join in it,” or something like that. I kind of butchered that.
But that really is it. You’re not going to be able to experience bliss if you can’t experience it on your own. It’s not your significant other, your soulmate’s job to make you happy. It’s your job to make yourself happy, and then they can add so much more to it.
So I’d love to hear your feedback. Sorry, I’m laying on my stomach recording this so I’m a little out of breath and I’m super pumped and I love you guys and I can’t wait to talk to you next week. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.
Thank you for tuning into today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you are ready to take this work deeper and you want to bring your dream business or a reality, I wanted to make sure that you knew that Mango Magic Business Academy was available to you. Head to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagic.
Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to a reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagiclifeschool for all the details. These programs are both life and business changing and you get access and coaching with me to walk through the modules and ask questions and get support to make your dream life or your dream business, or both a reality. I love you. I can’t wait to see you in there.