Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Lindsey: Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. Today I have Whitney Uland, a friend and client in the mastermind on. I’m so excited for you guys to hear her story. She was on February 2021 for an interview about the mastermind. Her journey has taken so many amazing turns and I can’t wait for her to share them with you and share where she ended up.
So welcome, Whitney. She’s a coach for artists and new and pregnant mamas and she has her son August with her. So if you hear a baby, Eva is in the other room, but it’s August. And they’re going to be best friends, just so you know. Welcome, Whitney.
Whitney: Thank you. Thank you for having me. I’m laughing when you’re like so many turns. I’m like really, I feel like my life has just been like right turn after left turn after right turn in the last year and a half, which has been really fun.
Lindsey: So good. So let’s start with that. Let’s go back to February 2021, if you can kind of imagine where you were when we did that first interview. Whitney has done, what, four rounds now of the mastermind. And I would love for you to share what has kind of happened since then.
Whitney: It’s so interesting because I feel like whenever you’re thinking about starting coaching or signing up for a new program or anything like that, you’re always looking at what are the results I’m going to get out of this? What are the things that people, and it’s not that we’re like, what will people think about me? But it’s like what are the results I can point to?
And I definitely have those but when you ask the question, I’m just like, oh lordy, I’ve grown in so many ways since then. That’s definitely the biggest thing that has like stood out to me, which is like those intangible wins, I guess. And that’s just been, and so much healing and so much growth.
So anyway, I feel like that’s the first thing that like really popped out to me. So I guess February 2021, I don’t know if I would have shared about this, but I had just shot a movie and so the update on that is that it’s releasing at the end of this year, which is really exciting.
Whitney: And it’s, I know, it’s like a year and a half. That’s actually like pretty fast for independent film, even though it like seems like a long time.
Lindsey: When you’re in it, when you’re on the journey, right, it feels long. But in hindsight, it’s like holy crap, what? Like that’s insane.
Whitney: Totally. Yeah, no, it’s like so, and we’re in the process right now of like we just finished getting our movie poster back. And I don’t know, it’s just like all the fun little finishes. So that’s the update on that.
With my business I had my first six-figure year, which is obviously so exciting. And then I had my first role on television on HBO. I became a mom, like so many things.
And through that journey, which has been, my husband and I were just talking it’s been a year since we found out that we were pregnant and now we have this like four month old, right? And so just so much of that, that’s been like such a big part of this last year, obviously and has taken so many changes in my life, the way I approach my coaching, the way I approach my business, like everything.
And that has led me to, oh, and I guess I also, this also feels like the theme of my results, is like just being like, “Oh yeah, and this.”
Lindsey: And, and, and.
Whitney: I had like a client success story on your story and I had it and I was like, man, I’m so proud of that. And then I was like, “Oh yeah, and I had a baby and took like a four month maternity leave during all of this.”
But anyway, so did I move? I’ve moved since then. Literally I feel like everything in my life has changed. And yet the thing that stands out to me the most is just how much better I feel in my life and in my experience and how much like, and it’s not like I’m happy all the time. But I mean, I’m a lot happier. I think I’m happier, I’m pretty sure.
But I feel more myself, I feel more healed, I feel like I have such a clear roadmap when I have things that I need, like results I want to get to, all of that. I launched a group program so, oh, that’s what I was going to say, is that I launched a group program for artists. And then now I’m launching a group program for pregnant women and new moms to help with that transition. So lots, I guess, has happened.
Lindsey: So good. Okay, so when you’re talking about all this now, how does it feel to reflect on that? I mean, again, it was what, we had you on two or three rounds ago of the mastermind. How does it feel to reflect on all of the things that you’ve done and created in a year in a half?
Whitney: I mean, it feels amazing and also I think it’s such a good reminder of like the importance of celebrating. Because I think it’s like, okay, it hasn’t even been that long since all of these wins, right? And yet it isn’t until you asked me that questions that I kind of start to tally them up, right?
And so even though there is like a general sense of so much more confidence and like certainty in myself and trust that I can create any result, like the feeling of I guess, awe or excitement was not something I was tapped into in the moment until you asked me.
So I think it just like, yeah, it goes to show how important that part of this work is. And just like using that as motivation going forward.
Lindsey: So good. I love it. So I would love for you to share more about, you know, when you found out you’re pregnant and you were, it was a little unexpected, right?
Whitney: A lot.
Lindsey: Yeah. And I would love to hear what was running through your mind in terms of like being an artist, in terms of your coaching business. Because, I mean, it’s so fun to think we were together through all of that. And I think your story of kind of some of the limitations it brought up and where you are now, I’d love for you to share that part of it.
Whitney: Totally. And I mean, to me, I feel like you’ve been such a big part of that and the mastermind has been such a big part of it. Because the thought that ran through my head when I found out was, “Oh fuck. Absolutely not, this is not what I want right now.” And my husband was the first, like my husband was with me when I took the pregnancy test. And we were both just like, “Wait, what? Wait, what? Like, no, no.” And we both just kind of started like glitching.
And yeah, and then I think the next day was when I like, I think I had called like my sister or one of my best friends. But then came on to the mastermind the next morning just to be like, I need help with this. Because the reason that it was like, oh fuck, was because I really just had this thought, your career’s over. Like everything that you love is over.
And I will say, obviously, we see the things that we’re looking for and we build cases for the beliefs that we have. So I know that I had definitely built a case for it being hard to be a mom and an artist. But that was the, I couldn’t have, I still can’t really point to examples that I have who have done it. Unless they’re like at the celebrity level, where it’s like they’re just hiring people to take their kids and do all the things, right?
Whitney: And to really be in the place of like a working artist and, you know, I’m not a household name and I’m running my own business. That really seemed impossible. And I did believe that there were, that I could be a coach and a mom because I feel like I’ve had examples in that. But just the artists level was like there’s no way this is going to work.
And, I mean, I don’t remember if that was your, the full extent of your question was like what was my first reaction. But I feel like my, I mean, it was a whole pregnancy of those fears being realized and having to sit with them and having to work with them because I had a pretty physically challenging pregnancy and emotionally challenging pregnancy. And so it just forced me to slow down and just sit with everything.
And I feel like in that way, and this is why I’m so passionate about coaching pregnant women, is because I really believe that your pregnancy is the roadmap that you need for motherhood. And if you can tune in and listen to what your body is telling you and what your fears are telling you, and the culmination of that is your birth and is that like ritual of your rebirth and the baby’s rebirth and all of this.
So anyway, I could go on about that, but that really was the work for me, was just like sitting with it. And to the point that like, and the whole time it was just like, what if I don’t like this baby? What if I don’t like being a mom? What if I hate, what if I regret everything?
And I’ve never had a time where like all of my hormones and all of my fears were just really colliding at once and just to have to like sit with it was like the most challenging thing that I’ve done. And I’m just so grateful for like the mastermind and the community there that really just sat with me through it and, you know, having your example. Like your what, your two months, your baby is two months older than mine?
Whitney: So just continually having that support. Like I just believe community is such an important part of motherhood. But did I answer your question? I have no idea.
Lindsey: Totally. No, you’re good. I’m like, what did I ask? No, I think I said, what was that like? Because you had all those, you talked about it, like those fears of like is this going to be the end of my career? Am I going to be able to create what I want? Because I think really what you’re illustrating here is the idea, whether it’s motherhood, whether you’re an artist, whether you’re, I mean, obviously everyone in the mastermind they’re coaches or helping other people in some way shape or form.
And I think it’s so easy for us, no matter what journey you’re on, to go when I’m “there” like when I’m famous and I have all the money, or when I have this multiple six-figure coaching business and I can hire the help that I want, or when I’m at this future destination, “then” I can have the baby.
Lindsey: Then I can do the things that I want, then I can finally travel or whatever it is. And I think that is one of the biggest lies that we tell ourselves. And I think it’s one of the biggest things that hold us back.
And I think your journey, and we can expand more on this, but I think your journey illustrates that it was actually the exact thing that you needed and the growth you needed as a human, as a coach, as an artist to create the success that you wanted. And that it’s not a matter of when I get there, then I can have this.
It’s a matter of I get to have all of the things I want now. Maybe it doesn’t look how I expected, but that’s something I get to claim. Because otherwise, you will always be waiting for some future destination to do and have the things that you want.
And so I don’t, we’re kind of, I just would love to hear your thoughts on that because I think something that happened unexpectedly and like brought up all these fears and limiting beliefs about your success as an artist and what you could create, I think is such a good example. And I’d love to hear kind of how that shifted your perspective, I guess, about like once I’m there, then I can have all the things that I want.
Whitney: Totally, I mean, and I think it is also, like I’m realizing right now at the next level of growth, that we’re always just doing the same thing of just like, I’ll have this when, right? And I feel like I’m at the place now that I’m like, I know all of the results I want are inevitable. But I also kind of think they’re in the future, instead of that I can bring them into the present moment.
And I think that that’s what coaching is, like at the root of it. And I know you use the model, so if your listeners are familiar with that But I feel like at the route of coaching, it’s the whole, no matter your modality of coaching, the theme is your mindset is what creates your results, right? It doesn’t matter what circumstances you have, it’s your mindset around it.
And yet we have all these different reasons, or limiting beliefs, or stories, or whatever. And for me it was a lot of what I’d seen from my sisters and what I’d seen from other artists and all of these things that in my brain it was just a circumstance that you couldn’t have the things that you want. And that was so true for me that I could not even see it as a circumstance.
Lindsey: You were like this is a fact.
Whitney: Yeah, I was like, absolutely not. And that is the thing too, is that, and maybe this was just hormones but I really could not see that throughout my pregnancy. And so, for me, the work was really trusting that it was that way, even though I couldn’t believe it and like feel that, if that makes sense.
Because I feel like, and I feel like that skill, that holding that level of belief even when you don’t actually believe, like that in and of itself is belief, right? But I guess what I’m, and so I hope I’m not being confusing, but it’s like my whole pregnancy I would get coaching and coach myself and all this on being like, this is a thought, you can have these things. And yet, my body was just like, no, like it’s absolutely not. This one is the exception to that rule. This is the place where my mindset doesn’t make a difference.
And so I had to hold on to the belief of like it’s possible that it could. I don’t know, it felt like just continuing to take like step in the dark after step in the dark. And just being like, this doesn’t make sense but I’m doing this next thing. This doesn’t make sense but I’m just going to keep going.
And to the whole, I mean, even with launching this motherhood group, I feel like that was such a cool moment for me to realize that that was my next step. Because like my whole pregnancy, what my next step was continually was just taking my foot off the gas and being like, I feel like I should do this, and I should be going harder on my business, and trying to get a new agent and like running it this way, and trying to do this thing after this thing that probably objectively seem like good ideas to move in the direction that you want.
And yet my gut just knew that that was not correct, and that the thing that I needed to do was to slow down and to pull things back and to focus on my pregnancy and just really make it something that was important. Like a ritual, I guess and to just be like this is an important transition, I want to honor this. Even though I also want my goals and it’s going to take a lot of faith for me to believe that I could still have my goals, even though I’m not doing the things that outwardly look like I’m going towards my goals, right?
And so it was just like the nine months of being like, I don’t know, this is what I feel called to do, this is what I feel led to do. And of course then when I realized that my next thing is to launch this motherhood program I’m like, oh, I was working on my business that whole time, I just didn’t know.
And I couldn’t have anticipated that. If you would have told me a year ago that I was going to coach moms I would be like, “I’m sorry, fuck off.” But it really just was that like gradual progression. And, of course, like so many other things too, like I didn’t get this deal for my movie until after the baby was born. And I’ve written several scripts since then, and I’ve like made so many, like so much has happened since then.
And so it really was just that time during my pregnancy being like I have no external evidence. And I don’t even feel like betting on the fact that this could be enough, but this is what my intuition is telling me to do next.
Lindsey: I think that’s such a great explanation of believing in the inevitable success. Because I think so often our brains, right, they want, they want to be like, it has to be 100% belief and that’s how I’m going to get there. And to me, I think this is such a great example that you just need a sliver.
You just need like a tiny little piece of you that’s like, I don’t even know if this is possible. I want it to be true, I want it to be possible. And I’m just going to take the steps based on that, even though there’s like 99% of me that isn’t quite sure.
Lindsey: And I think so that’s really what creates the inevitability of our results. It’s not having to be in this place of like, and of course, that’s the work that’s the growth, is getting to that place where you have that much certainty. But I think at the beginning, I think throughout a lot of the journey it’s like before the ball starts, I imagine a snowball rolling down a hill and it starts to pick up speed and get bigger and bigger and bigger.
It’s like you have this like snowflake and you have to just trust that that’s going to be enough, that that’s going to be the thing that turns into this giant snowball. And you just have to keep taking those steps, even though it might feel like you’re literally stepping off of a mountain and you’re not sure if something is going to catch you.
Whitney: I love that so much. And I think also, I look back at the results that I, okay, so let’s use this example of getting this deal for my movie. The steps that I actually took were pretty simple. There were like four things that I did, right? It was like, make this connection, set up this meeting, ask for a referral, reach out to them, have this meeting, boom, like negotiate the contract, right?
It was like pretty simple. And yet most of the work was mentally getting myself to do those things and to get behind those things. And I think whenever we have a new goal, and maybe this is just like my particular brain and sensibilities, but I always am just like, let’s like go crazy. Like I need to do all these things and do a million things.
Lindsey: Oh yeah, pretty much everybody who follows me, I think-
Whitney: Has that.
Lindsey: We’re going to do 75 things.
Whitney: Yeah, and instead it’s really about spending, like I feel like the question that I get as a coach so much is people are just like, how do you do so much? You’re so busy, or you’re so productive. And I’m like, I really don’t feel like I am because the majority of my work is getting into the state of belief behind the small actions.
But the actions themselves, like if someone were to look at my calendar they’d be like, “What the hell are you doing all week? Like there’s nothing on your calendar.”
Lindsey: Like I’m managing my brain.
Lindsey: I love that because it’s about the potent action. I think a lot of the time it’s actually coaching yourself to not do the things, right, like fill your calendar with all this shit just so you can feel like you’re making progress.
Lindsey: Which is absolutely robs you of the life that you’re here to build, which is a huge component of the mastermind. And instead it puts you in this position where you do have openness in your calendar. And then when you are taking the actions, they are effective, they create amazing results.
But a lot of the other space and time is spent thinking you should be doing something and reminding yourself that you don’t have to be and that your job is to enjoy your life and lean in and be, and that the next aligned step will come and you’ll take it and that’s going to be what creates the results.
Whitney: Totally. Well and I feel like it’s, for me, that is a lot of hard work to get my brain, to talk my brain into being like this is enough. This is okay, like this is safe, it’s safe to do go this slowly and we can just get on board with this.
And I feel like, I mean, like if this is something I guess listeners are struggling with, is like looking at other examples of like I’m working on this right now, like testing this out. But I honestly think any result we want to create is actually always the simplest and easiest way. But then whenever we, like I don’t even know why, if it’s just like trauma response or society or whatever that makes us think that we have to do everything right at once all the time.
But even things like I’m working with like a pelvic floor physical therapist right now for some postpartum things. And the exercises are so simple. And there’s like three of them and I do them every day and that’s it. And I’m like, wait, I don’t have to like change my whole life and wake up at six to do all these things? And she’s like, no.
Lindsey: Buy all this equipment?
Whitney: Right, and it like feels like such a thing. But and even like last, so for your listeners one of my goals right now is that I want to make $20,000 in the next like three weeks. And my brain was like, “Well we can’t, we can’t do that unless we add in all these actions. And we should sell this retreat and we should do all these things.” Things that I want to do eventually and want to put in the future, or that I’m planning on doing in the future, I guess.
And then after coaching myself and getting coaching from you, like all the things then I was like, “Oh, my work is to just get to the place that I believe that the things I’m already doing are going to make that $20,000.”
Whitney: Because the alternative is maybe I would be able to make the $20,000. I honestly don’t think so if I had done it the other way because I was, like I feel like my brain would look like a yarn board with like just a zillion different mad scientist things behind it and I wouldn’t be able to go all in on anything. So it would just be really sloppy.
But also, it wouldn’t change anything about me in terms of my self-concept, it wouldn’t help me heal. And so of course once I changed that, because what I was trying to do was to change my circumstances. Change the actions I was taking, instead of changing the thoughts that I was thinking about myself, about my offer, about the way that I’m selling it.
And it’s been so fucking hard to just sit with it this week and be like it, but I’m also learning so much that I’m like, if I wouldn’t have sat with this, I would have missed out on so much growth and so much. Like I’m spending three extra days before re-launching some ads to like really nail them this time. And I’m like, I could have spent that day feeling really productive doing a bunch of things to try sell this retreat. But I would have gained nothing, maybe some dollars.
Whitney: But probably not as much as I’m capable of. And yeah, so I feel like, but I definitely am a person who will use that busyness to distract myself from my feelings. I’ll change my actions, I’ll change my circumstances. And once I just made myself not do it and then I focused on selling myself on slowing down, staying committed to the actions that I had already decided, a lot of shit came up.
Lindsey: Oh yeah.
Whitney: And so then the work is like coaching myself on that and seeing where I don’t believe that I’m worthy of the things that I want. Where am I thinking my desires are not good enough? Where am I believing I’m not good enough?
And that is the hardest work That’s way harder than like sending 30 emails to get people to go to a retreat with me in Cancun, you know?
Lindsey: Yes. And I think that, I love how you’re describing that. I’ve talked about that on different interviews before where a huge part of the room is building a more, I don’t even want to say, everyone’s brain is equally valuable. It’s like infinitely valuable. But I almost think of it like building a more valuable brain, meaning a brain that can produce more with less actions.
Because if you just do, like throw spaghetti at the wall and go crazy, it’s like you stay the same person who now believes, even if you do get the result, that all of these things, like going crazy, and like the yarn board and all of the actions is why you got the results. And so your brain starts to believe that the only way you create more of those results is to do more of that.
And that’s where we get into a game where you’ve stayed the same person, you’ve kept the same brain. And so in order to create six figures, multiple six figures, help more people, you now have to sacrifice yourself, your life because it’s like, well, the only way to get there is through more. More doing, more things, more emails. Instead of when you become the person and you change the way you think about things and you create a more valuable mind, now you can take simple actions and create even bigger results.
And I think that right there is one of the biggest cruxes, if that’s the right word, of this room, is becoming that person so that you can simultaneously be a mom, do your art, like enjoy your life while creating more and more money and more and more impact in your coaching business.
Lindsey: What are your thoughts when I say that?
Whitney: Well, I think, I mean that’s like spot on. And it’s really fun witnessing this in other people because I know it’s the same for myself and sometimes just easier to see in other people.
Lindsey: Hey, August.
Whitney: August agrees with all of this. But it is so interesting and I feel like it gives people such a chance when we all have these brains that are just like go, go, go, and used to using the actions and all of this. And then when we start to strip that away you feel like a martian for a while and it really tests like am I going to bet on myself in this process and mindset? Which is what we’re selling.
Whitney: So you like really need that belief. But I think that there’s like phases of it where at first it’s like you like the idea of that. But then in practice, it’s like I’m sorry, I’m supposed to do what? This feels terrible.
Whitney: And then it just becomes this like mental game of how many uncomfortable emotions can you sit with and give yourself compassion for? And if you can do that, then you’re good.
Lindsey: You’re going to win at this game for sure.
Lindsey: I think that is such a great way to say it because I think it’s so funny because our brains like to think the uncomfortable thing is to go out and just go crazy and grind ourselves into the ground. But that’s actually easier because your brain just is used to that. And it also gives it a sense of control, right? And that control feels really good. Versus sitting in the emotions, sitting in the belief, sitting in the trust, and then taking the aligned actions from there.
I feel like that is why it’s so important to be in a room like this, because you’re surrounded by other brilliant coaches, and myself, who are all pointing out what’s happening because your brain will lie to you. It will tell you that you’re not doing these things and you will be.
And every time you’re open to it and you’re willing to be aware of it and learn from it your growth gets faster and faster and faster, your results get better and better and better. But sometimes, if you’re not available for it, if you’re not in the room or have the support that you need, like your brain can run with that for years, I feel like.
You’re like, oh shit, for a whole year I spent doing the same thing and just grinding myself into the ground instead of addressing all of these things, changing them so that I could create results that compound over time.
Whitney: Totally. Well, and it’s so interesting too, because I feel like even if you can get on board with that intellectually, we still can’t see it when our brains are doing it most of the time. And like maybe, I was laughing because I was talking to Shana, who I think you’ve had on the podcast.
Whitney: She and I were talking about the times that we’ve just like really sat in victim mentality. And for me, I think that was kind of my whole pregnancy. Which is fine, it just like took that long.
Whitney: But then Laura Clowdus, have you had her on?
Whitney: Okay, yeah. so she posted something, she’s like, “Yeah, I’m noticing I’ve been in victim mentality for the last like week,” or something. And I was like, “You noticed that after a week? Like it took me nine months.” But I feel like that’s just kind of how our brains work, is that we keep going back to that and just not seeing that things that we want are, it’s like we don’t even see that we have the blind spots, if that makes sense.
Whitney: Not only like, oh, this is a blind spot. It’s like I don’t even realize that I was trying to see something that wasn’t there.
Lindsey: Yes, totally. So what do you feel, like how has being in this mastermind multiple rounds and being in this room surrounded by these coaches and going through this process, like how has that helped you with this?
Whitney: I think it’s really helped with the element of like, I mean I guess shame just in terms of like it just really normalizes that all of these amazing, successful people, like all of our brains are just doing the same thing. And can then also kind of be an indicator of like, because when you’re listening to someone else get coaching, you’re like, “This is so obvious.” Not always, but sometimes.
And then it’s like, oh, I don’t know. So seeing other people get coaching, it just makes it more easy, more normal to be like, then I must be doing the same thing. And that’s totally fine and that’s not a problem, but just something to like keep being aware of.
And I feel like this last round especially, I really loved how much authority I feel like all of the coaches had in coaching each other. And I know a big part of that was, I guess, I’m like I don’t even remember the before times. Although I will say I definitely, I feel like my biggest growth this round was that, and I went into this knowing that you were going to be on maternity leave and then I was going to be on maternity leave.
Whitney: And so I was like, how do I get results then? And realizing that I was waiting on your coaching a lot. Which I don’t, I love you, but I don’t think that’s very healthy.
Lindsey: Yeah, totally.
Whitney: And so realizing that just being in this room with so many other powerful coaches, and them being able to show me my brain in such a powerful way also just makes you be like, oh yeah, it’s just the power of coaching. It’s not that you’re on a pedestal, I’m on a pedestal, they’re on a pedestal. It’s like that’s what coaching is.
And the so then I feel like we get to claim our own authority. And we get to claim our own result when we create them. Instead of being like, oh, like it’s probably likely that a couple of years ago if I had created, like with that brain, if somehow I created the results I have, I would be like, “Oh, Lindsey did this for me.” You know what I mean?
Whitney: Or be like, well, it’s all because of Lindsey or something like that.
Lindsey: Totally, yes.
Whitney: And I feel like it’s so much healthier that I don’t feel that way. And also I feel more empowered in my decisions. And then it also feels like such a better, I don’t know, just narrative like all around.
Lindsey: Well, when you have your own authority, and that is so important, I think becoming more and more important as the room has continued to evolve is like, I think about it like I want to create a room of leaders.
Lindsey: And leaders are people who take authority over their own decision making. That doesn’t mean they don’t utilize the room or utilize me and the coaching and all of that. It actually allows you to show up in an even more powerful way because you still take responsibility over yourself, your results, and your decision making.
And I feel like when you have that, then it’s like you have authority over your life. You have authority over your results. And when you can trust yourself and your decision making at that level, that’s when things really take off.
And so it’s almost like, people listening, like you might be thinking you’re coming to this to have me be the decision maker for you. And really, my goal is to help you get clear on what is your most aligned decision? What is that inner voice telling you? What’s blocking you from your desired path? And helping you clear that so you can get what you want.
And I love to think about it from the standpoint of that there is no one way to get there because all of our aligned paths are different. All of our most loving decisions are different. And I don’t want to be the one to guide you down a path that isn’t where you’re meant to be. I want to be the one that guides you to your most aligned path.
And I feel like with what we’re talking about with authority, when you create that over your decision making and yourself, you literally become, like I just almost think about it’s like you now have just taken the magic wand and you get to be like, poof, this is exactly what I want my life to look like and I have the power to do that.
Whitney: 100%. And it’s just such a magnetic energy to be in when you’re in the place of just like total self-authority. And I mean, I think to me, that’s what like accountability is, is giving yourself the permission to take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
I don’t know, I mean, obviously, I coach artists a lot. And so one of the things we talk about is how it’s like there’s really only two emotions. There’s either love or there’s fear. And when you’re in a state of fear, you actually don’t have access to the most creative parts of your brain.
And so obviously, with art that’s everything. As an artist you really only have your creativity, like your opinions. But it’s the same in entrepreneurship. And even if you think about like, I don’t know, pens, every single pen is marketed differently. Like there is no one right way to market pens.
Some people get some like important meaning behind it and it’s like we donate shoes to children if you buy our pens. And other people are just like we’re just selling ours on Amazon. And other people make billboards. There’s so many different ways.
And I feel like because as coaches we’re selling our consciousness in a way and showing other people their brains, we have to do it in our own unique way. And that comes by clearing out the fear and getting back to that love. And I feel like that’s the skill of coaching that’s like just so much more important than any kind of process or any kind of like steps, is being able to say this is working for me and this is not, and trusting that the things that you want are the right things. Which is what we were saying earlier.
Lindsey: Yes. So good. I love it. Okay, so I would love for you to share about how, like I introduced you, you’re coach for artists and a coach for new and pregnant moms. And I think that’s so fun because so often coaches get so in their head about their niche and what they’re supposed to be doing and that they have to get really specific.
And I feel like, again, the most loving decision for everyone is different. The most loving and abundant decision for one person in the room might be to get more specific, like their truest heart’s desire is to do this one thing and they’re just afraid to do that. Whereas another person might be like, I want to stay more general or I want to offer these multiple things.
And so I think it would be fun to hear about how making that decision and how it feels to follow two passions, I mean, obviously they’re connected through coaching. But two different passions and bringing them both to the world and what that’s opened up for you.
Whitney: Yeah, I think that the, I’m trying to remember because I feel like there maybe was like 24 hours between when I had the idea of starting a mother’s group and then being like, “Oh yeah, I’m actually going to do it this way.” It was a pretty short turnaround for me because I feel like I’d been doing this work during all of my pregnancy of like, trusting my desires, trusting myself, trusting my gut, all of that.
But what was the like biggest shift in that like 24 hours was realizing that it took a deeper shedding of like ego identity. Because for me the biggest thing, and this is just kind of like an echo in my life, is like being taken seriously as an artist. And so it’s been well, what if people see me as a coach instead of an artist? What if people, you know, whatever.
And I think I kind of always assumed that if I was going to be pursuing something that wasn’t just art, I assumed it would be because I was quitting in some way or giving up in some way. And what I didn’t realize was that this decision to not only move away from artists to do, and I haven’t moved away from being an artist, but to do something that’s not related to art at all, right? It’s like coaching and moms, not coaching and artists or anything like that.
And what I didn’t realize was that it took an even deeper belief in myself and an even deeper belief in my art. And there was no letting go, it was like locking in even more to that certainty of like my identity and shedding what I realized was just like the fear part of me that said I couldn’t have at all. That said that if I picked one thing, I had to give up the other one. And that if I followed this part of my instinct that was telling me that this is where my next level of growth is, then I couldn’t, people would see me differently or whatever.
And just realizing that what the growth actually was, was believing that I could have my cake and eat it too.
Whitney: And also just believing that people are intelligent and know that we can do two things.
Lindsey: Yes, so good. I love it. So how is the room, I talk about limitless possibility a lot. How has the room helped you like tap into that limitless possibility for yourself?
Whitney: That’s a good question. I mean, I think it just, it continually asks me to be like, well why not? Why couldn’t I have this thing? Why couldn’t I have them both, you know?
And even I do think, I like this metaphor of like, so there was a study with like they left little kids in a room and they said, you can have one marshmallow now or if you wait 15 minutes, you can have two marshmallows. And I brought that up to you and you’re like, “Well, why don’t you have one now and two later?” And I was like, I didn’t realize that was an option.
But I feel like that’s just what this room has been. It’s just continuing to be like, well, why can’t I be an artist, and a life coach for artists, and a life coach for moms? Why can’t I sell a movie and sell a new program? Why can’t I make a lot of money and be at home with my kid as much as I want? Why can’t I?
I don’t know, it just like it continues. Like my brain just continues to be asked that question. And so then it finds the answers and problem solves at the level to be able to do that.
Lindsey: So good. And it’s like, if you look at your life you’re an artist, like you’ve sold, right, your movie is about to go out. Like it’s just you’re coaching artists, you’re coaching pregnant moms and moms. I’m like stuttering, I’m like so many things I can’t even say them all. And here we are with August right here, like you’re literally doing it all.
And I just know you and people can feel your energy. You’re not burnt out, you’re not exhausted. It’s almost like all of these things are fueling you forward and giving you life and giving you energy. And I think it’s just so fun to see.
Whitney: Totally. Yeah, and I think it has, I mean if anything I feel like it’s made me more, I don’t want to say strict, but I do feel like I’ve had to shift my boundaries with what I have time for. And a lot of that though is cutting out unnecessary work that I didn’t realize was unnecessary, right? Even my clients probably hate, well I don’t know if they care. But I’ve been recording my podcast from my voice memos app.
Lindsey: I love that.
Whitney: Because I’ll literally be laying in bed at like 11 o’clock at night and I have an idea. And I’m like, “This is important, I’m going to do it.” And my editor will be like, “Can you do higher quality?” And I’m like, “No, I can’t. Not for this one.”
Lindsey: That just blew my mind a little bit. I’m like, my editor is probably listening to this and they’re like, “Oh no.”
Whitney: They’re like, “She’s going to do it.”
Lindsey: But really there’s so many rules, right, that you put on yourself when really they’re totally unnecessary.
Whitney: They’re totally unnecessary. And I think, you know, I have had to change, but it’s like essentially what am I giving my energy to? And I feel like by being so intentional about that, it creates the space for all the things that I actually want.
And I don’t think I would have considered or realized that. I mean, again, it’s just like sometimes we don’t even realize the blind spots. Like we don’t even realize that there is a blind spot until we’re getting coaching. But I think it’s really, like I feel like one of the biggest shifts in my life is, again, like someone would look at my calendar and be like, “What are you doing all day?” And yet all of the things on there give me so much energy.
Whitney: And if it doesn’t, then it’s just not part of my life anymore.
Lindsey: And I think that’s how you’re doing all of these things and enjoying them, and not ending up burnt out and all of that.
Lindsey: That’s so good. Okay, so last question, if somebody listening has thought about joining the mastermind and are on the fence, is there something that you would share with them?
Whitney: I think you just need to look at like why you don’t think you can have it. This is my own work as well, and it’s just the ongoing work. Like why don’t you think you can be in there? Why don’t, like whatever it is. If it’s the money, if it’s the prestige, literally whatever it is. That thing, like the answer to that question is where you need to grow.
And so I just think that we’re always looking at, as coaches, wanting to heal, wanting to grow, wanting to evolve. Whatever that thing is, whatever the answer to your question, is the same thing that’s keeping your clients from finding you and keeping you from taking the action towards your clients.
So yeah, I think you got to do a little soul searching, see what it is and look at how that’s stopping you from creating the clients that you want. And then figure out how to get in there.
Lindsey: Yes, that’s so good.
Whitney: Because that’s the work.
Lindsey: I think that’s such a powerful way to say it because, again, I think it goes back to that like, oh, well, I just want to do all of these things and like throw spaghetti at the wall. And really the most uncomfortable thing, the hardest thing is to turn inward, to look at this and go, okay, this is my work and I’ve got this sliver of belief we talked about earlier. Like 99% of me isn’t sure if I can have all of this and do all of this. There’s like this tiny part of me that wants to choose to believe that I can.
And that, I think, is the discomfort that, I hate to talk about it like this, but like separates, I think it’s so easy to watch like really successful coaches, really successful artists, people and be like I’m just as talented, I’m just as skilled, I’m just as whatever as them. And the truth is you are.
The difference is that they take that little sliver of like I believe 1% that I can have it all and I make the decision based on that. I believe that, I’m willing to close these gaps within myself and make these really tough decisions. And that is what puts them on stages, puts them in films, puts them in million dollar businesses. And that’s the hard part, but that’s how you get it.
Whitney: Yeah, I just read this quote that I won’t be able to tell you who said it. But it was about how greatness is not in the moment that it’s achieved, but the moment that it was decided. So it was talking about, it was in this book called the 12 Week Year and they were using the example of like Michael Phelps became great when he decided to do the things that would make him stand out, not when he won his 18th gold medal, right?
Lindsey: Oh my gosh.
Whitney: And so it’s like to become the great coach, to get those results that you are after, that happens now. Like that happens by the decision to become great.
Lindsey: I just have like total body chills. I’m like writing it down. Now Whitney is the quote who said that. No, I’m kidding, we’ll find that.
Whitney: Yeah, that was my thing. Also, just like lol at me using a sports analogy.
Lindsey: Oh my God, I love it. Well, Whitney, thank you so much. And we’re going to make sure to link how to connect with you. So where can people connect with you? And then how do they get into your mom’s group? Or how do they get connected with you as an artist?
Whitney: Probably the best place is just Instagram, @whitneyuland, you can send me a DM. My mothers group right now is just a free Facebook group before launching the official program, but that would be the best place to learn about it. And then my artist group you can find on there as well.
Lindsey: So good. I love it. Thank you, Whitney. Thank you, August, for sharing your mom with me. I cannot wait for people to hear this and I’m just so grateful for you and your time and your knowledge.
Whitney: Thank you, I’m so grateful for you. Thanks for having me.
Lindsey: You’re welcome. All right, I’ll talk to you guys soon. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/A, B as in boy, A coach to apply for the Anything But Average Coach Mastermind. I will talk to you guys next week, bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.