Ep #44: Drama, Drama, Drama

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I’ve been doing a lot of coaching over the month of January, which means I’ve been getting a deeper look into many of the struggles you guys are having and seeing the gaps that exist for you in getting the results you want. And so today, I’m introducing you to what I call drama to give you a new perspective on whatever your challenges may be right now.

If you’ve ever noticed an inner chatter of fear and doubt whenever you try to take new actions, you have what I call mind drama. I see so many of my clients turning their drama into a problem, when in fact, it could be the exact guide that shows them the path they need to take.

Tune in this week to discover why all of us get mind drama when we try to create new results, why it’s crucial to reframe how we think about it, and how to actually make the shift so it stops being a hurdle for you.

For the entire month of January, I will be coaching every single weekday on Facebook to help you sign your first paying clients! I want you to imagine ending January with your coaching business out in the world and confidently calling yourself a coach, so if you want all this support from me, make sure to join Anything but Average by clicking here!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • The best way for you to develop your coaching skills and your own unique ideas.
  • What I mean by “drama.”
  • Why drama comes up for us and why it’s not a problem.
  • The most common way I see my clients reacting to their mind drama.
  • Why it’s important to reframe how we think of drama.

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream coaching business a reality, join my Anything but Average program.
  • The Anything but Average Coach Mastermind is opening on February 10th, so click here to learn more and stay tuned for more details!
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Anything but Average aha! moments!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. Guys, it has been forever since I’ve been in this podcasting closet. I know for you it hasn’t. You get content every week on my podcast. But I recorded like, seven episodes in one sitting I think at the end of November. So I have not recorded a podcast in forever.

And I’m so excited because I have some new concepts that I’m going to be teaching you all and I’m going to be bringing on some of my mastermind clients to interview and talk about what they’ve learned and there’s just some really good stuff in the works, as well as a mastermind that’s going to be opening up soon. So just stay tuned for all of that.

And I actually wanted to share this before we jump into today’s episode. I am right now in the middle, we’re on day seven when I’m recording this episode of 15 Days to Your First Client, which is one of the best events I do inside Anything but Average, where we coach every day for three weeks out of January. Every weekday.

And I get coaching every day and it’s all focused on signing their first client. And the reason why I wanted to share this is because I’m coaching so much. Coaching every day and coaching tons of people all at the same time. And even for me at this level, it’s just offering me so much insight and so much value in terms of what I can offer all of you guys to help you even more, if that’s even how you would say it.

Like to help you create the coaching business that you want and the life you want even more effectively. Because the more I coach them, the more I see where the gaps are and what you guys are potentially struggling with in getting results.

And the reason why I wanted to share that is because even at this level, after coaching so many people for the past four years, coaching more and coaching more people still elevates my skillset, still elevates my ability to come up with concepts.

And I think that’s important because a lot of people don’t want to get started in their coaching business because they think that they have to be perfect and ready and know everything before they start. And I always like to tell my clients that the best way you become a better coach, the best way for you to develop your skill and to develop your uniqueness and your coaching and your own ideas is by actually coaching.

Not by sitting on the side lines. The best way you become a better soccer player or volleyball player or whatever is you get out there and you start playing and you start practicing. And you start playing in games, right? Not sitting on the sidelines.

So the best way for all of you guys to become better coaches and develop your own unique concepts is to get out there coaching. And that’s why I have so many new concepts to share with all of you guys.

I also want to add before we jump in that you can still enroll in Anything but Average. And by the time this episode comes you, I think we will have three or four more days of coaching every day. You can still join us. Literally every day women are posting in there that they’re signing their first client or their next client, and we are only seven days in right now, so I can’t wait to see what happens over the next seven days.

But you can still join us. The replays will be in there. You still get weekly live coaching with me in the program once you enroll. If you don’t make it in for this 15-day event, and then you always get access to stuff like that. I’m always doing things to just add more value and help you guys get results. So make sure if you want to join us, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage.

Alright, so what I wanted to talk about today is what I’m calling drama, drama, drama. It’s not really a concept called drama, drama, drama, but if you’ve been following me for a while, if you join any of my free trainings, if you work with me in any regard, you’re going to hear me talk about what I think Brooke Castillo might actually call it this. I don’t know where I got it from.

But you’re going to hear me talk about drama. And when I say drama, usually we think about the mean girls at lunch who are really dramatic in high school, or the people who make big deals out of the smallest stuff, but that’s not really what I’m talking about when I say drama.

When I say drama, what I mean is the inner chatter and fear and doubt and mean girl that happens in your brain when you go to take any new action or go to create any new result in your life. So essentially, drama to me is just the fear and doubt that tries to talk you out of changing your life and creating the coaching business that you really want and signing clients.

It’s just that little voice in your head like, that won’t shut up. Maybe you’re realizing it’s there for the first time. Some of you guys who have been listening for a while, you know it’s there. But that is what I call drama.

Now, the reason why I wanted to talk about drama today is because what I see with so many of my clients as I’m coaching them in Anything but Average and I’m coaching my mastermind clients and I even coach myself is that a lot of us have this association that drama is this terrible thing.

We’re like, oh no, there’s mind drama, it’s happening again. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this drama and what it actually means. Why it comes up, and why it’s important to actually reframe how we think of drama, and how to actually change the drama.

So really, those are the three things we’re going to talk about today is why our brain has drama, and how to reframe it to feel differently about the drama, and how to actually change it.

Alright, y’all ready? Okay, so for the first part, in order to explain why we have drama, I’m going to use an analogy. So I want you guys to imagine you are on one side of the Golden Gate Bridge. And on the starting side of the bridge, you have the same thoughts, you take the same action, you feel the same way, you have the same job, the same relationship, kind of just the pattern, the hamster wheel of your life.

So on the starting side of the bridge, it’s just your current life. It’s the way you make decisions, it’s the way you think, it’s the way you take action, it’s the things you do, it’s just kind of the habitual pattern of your life. Now you guys know if you have been listening for a while, that our thoughts ultimately create our results.

The way we’re thinking, the way we’re feeling drives the action we take. And that produces the results we create in our life. Now, the human brain is wired, it’s literally wired to do this and repeat the same patterns over and over and over again in our lives because our brain is not wired to help us live an amazing life and accomplish great things.

It is actually wired for survival and to keep us alive and to be as efficient as possible. So it’s more efficient for our brain to think the same things, to do the same things, to feel the same way, even if it’s not great, over and over and over again because then it can go into – I think of it like a computer, but our subconscious mind, to where we’re almost operating like we’re robots.

Have you ever driven to work, or you used to drive the same way to work and then you change directions, and then one day you find yourself accidentally turning the wrong way? That’s how your brain works in your life every single day. And if we want to change our lives, we have to learn how to be aware of what our brain is doing, change it, change who we are, change the way we’re thinking, take different action to produce different results.

So in this example, we’re on one side of the Golden Gate Bridge, and this is what’s happening. Our brain is like, hey, we’ve been doing this thing, we’ve been doing this jam, this thing called life, for 30 years. We know how this goes. We’re just unconsciously living our lives.

Then I want you to imagine, all of a sudden you’re like, listening to me and you’re like, oh my gosh, I want to create a coaching business, or oh my gosh, I started my coaching business and now I want to create lots of clients and quit my full-time job.

I want you to imagine that possibility comes into your awareness. Now, you’re standing over here on one side of the Golden Gate Bridge and this awareness brings you all the way to the edge of the bridge. Now, when you get to the edge of the bridge, what happens is your brain likes to be way over here, away from the bridge, doing the same thing, repeating the same habits, thinking the same way because it’s safe, because it’s efficient.

Now you’ve decided to walk up to this bridge and guess what’s going to happen? Your brain is going to start to spaz out and freak out and be like, we’re definitely going to die if we take steps on this bridge. It’s never going to work. Who’s going to want your coaching? It’s never going to work out for you. Remember the time you failed before?

All of that’s going to happen because now you’ve changed the game on your brain. You’ve decided to do something that’s less safe and less efficient to your mind by walking up to this bridge.

Now, the reality is on the other side of this bridge is this mind-blowing business where you are signing clients, changing people’s lives, you’re making over $100,000, $200,000 a year, you’re able to work from anywhere.

If you guys can hear my nails clicking, it’s because I’m an Italian and I use my hands even though I’m talking to a microphone. But on the other side of this bridge is this amazing life. Everything you ever wanted. And you know in order to get there, you have to start your coaching business or you have to get your coaching business to a place where it’s creating consistent income.

Now, this happens at all levels. So maybe you’re taking the first step to start your coaching business and that’s the dream on the other side of the bridge. Maybe you’ve already started and now you want to really make an impact and make $200,000 or $100,000, quit your job, and all of that.

Now, wherever you’re starting, it doesn’t matter. Your brain still gets into this pattern of wanting to stay safe and wanting to keep your habits the same, wanting to do the same things. So when you walk up again, to get to the other side, you have to cross this bridge. But when you walk up to even step your first foot on the bridge, your brain is like, freaking out.

That is drama. And that is literally our brain’s job. Our brain is like, let me throw all of this drama, let me throw all of these fears, all of these doubts, let me tell her all the ways she’s not good enough so that she doesn’t walk on this bridge. I want her to avoid this at all costs.

This is why the drama gets stronger the more we get closer and closer and the more steps we take towards the things that we really want. The reality is though in order to get to the things we want, we have to cross the bridge. We can’t get over there unless we change, unless we grow, unless we take these steps.

So again, what happens is your brain wants to keep you over there, it gives you all of this drama because it thinks it’s going to keep you alive and it thinks it’s very inefficient to have to grow and do all of these things.

Now, the reason why I wanted to explain this to you and what causes the drama and why it’s there is so that you can really see that when you go to take the step and do something different and want to grow, that nothing has gone wrong when this drama shows up.

The worst thing you can do is listen to this drama and listen to your brain and all its fears and doubts and make decisions and take action from there. When you do that, you literally step off the bridge, you go back to exactly where you were, doing the same things over and over and over again.

So I want you to know that this is why we have drama. Because our brain is like, stepping on that bridge is really unsafe and inefficient, so that’s why it shows up. Now, the perspective, why I want to change the perspective you have on drama is because if we think drama is a bad thing, and if we think it’s true, like it’s a fact that we’re definitely going to die when we take this first step on the bridge, we will turn and run the other direction, or we will think something’s gone wrong when the drama shows up.

What I want to offer you and the perspective that I want to offer for you is that when this drama shows up, it’s a good thing. Because the only reason your brain is having drama, unless you’re actually in a life or death situation physically, the only reason the drama has been showing up is because you decided to take steps on that bridge. You decided to walk up to that bridge, and maybe you started walking across it to get to the other side.

The drama literally would not be there if you weren’t even growing in that moment, if you weren’t taking those risks. So the fact that the drama showed up is actually a good sign. It’s a sign that you are stretching and growing and that you are about to do things that are going to change who you are and help you grow as a person so you can literally get to the other side.

Without that growth, without overcoming those fears and doubts and all of the drama that shows up, I’ve probably said drama 100 times, I apologize. But without that showing up and growing past it, you’re not going to get to the other side. So this drama is a beautiful thing.

The other thing I wanted to offer to you is I want you to imagine that it was this clear, that the roadmap to the life and the coaching business you want was this clear. You’re starting here, there’s literally a bridge, you have to get to the other side of this bridge in order to get there.

That is exactly what your drama shows you. Your drama is like a well lit path to every mountain or every step you have to grow past and through in order to get to the other side. It’s literally like here’s level one, your doubt is what if it doesn’t work. Okay, we have to work through that.

Now once we get past that, there’s going to be another drama. Now I’ve launched my business, what if nobody signs up? Next thing, you get past that, you keep going, now you start signing clients. Now you’re like, what if I quit my job and I don’t sign another client?

All of the drama you have is setting the bridge. The exact direct path and bridge to everything you want, to the life you want, to the coaching business you want. And if you think about it like that and you start to follow that path and realize this isn’t a problem, it’s literally showing you where you need to go and what direction you need to go, now you’re going to overcome and grow past and not stop when you hear the drama.

You’re going to work through it, you’re going to grow past it, and then that’s what’s going to get you to the other side, to this dream life to everything that you’ve ever wanted.

So that’s a perspective I want to offer you guys that when you have doubt, fear, and again, what I call mind drama, that it’s not a problem. It’s showing you exactly where you need to go.

Now, how do you actually change this? First of all, you have to bring the awareness to it. A lot of us are totally unconscious to it and we listen to it. We’re like, oh no, don’t invest in that, don’t do that. We just listen to our brain and our fears so we stay stuck over here on this side, on this habitual boring life that we don’t actually want.

It’s good to have awareness of it, but then we also have to change it. We have to see the things that our brain is telling us. We have to see the drama and choose differently. We have to choose other thoughts. Okay, maybe your brain said could I actually be a coach?

Instead of thinking how couldn’t I be a coach, how could I be the perfect person to be a coach, and finding all the ways. Maybe it’s like, we’re definitely going to die when we launch our business. What if it actually inspires and changes one person’s life?

The way you get past the drama is changing the perspective you have on the drama and seeing it differently. This is one of the biggest things that I do with my clients in my program and in my mastermind. It’s helping you get past all of that drama so you can walk across the bridge to everything you want.

Now, the challenge with this is it all starts with the one decision to get into a program or in my mastermind, which you have to take that step in order to get the help and coaching you need in order to walk to the other side. And that’s something you have to recognize and see and notice the drama and realize it’s not a problem and realize it’s actually telling you the right next step is this because you have the most drama about it. It’s the thing that’s going to help you grow the most and get to the other side of the bridge even faster.

So what I want you guys to really hear from me today is that instead of turning and running when you hear drama in your head, what if you leaned in? What if that guided all of your decisions? If you guys made all of the decisions that brought up the most drama, I can promise you your life will blow your mind in a year.

And when you have a coach, you have someone to actually help you who has an outside perspective who isn’t stuck in your own brain or drama, to see it from a different perspective, to show you that it’s just your brain trying to talk you out of what you want, to give you an easier path to the other side so you don’t keep walking halfway on the bridge and then turning and running back to safety.

I will tell you guys the reason why hiring a coach was so profound for me, the first time and every time I’ve hired a coach after that is because I know that I’m committing to having someone on my side when I feel like I’m going to fall off the bridge in the middle of the bridge and talk myself out of it and turn and run the other direction, I have someone on the other side of the bridge being like, no, you’re right on track. This is exactly how it’s supposed to feel, here’s a different perspective so you keep feeling excited and inspired and so you grow to get to the other side.

And that’s the opportunity I want to give you every single day, and that’s why the women in my program get such massive results. Because one, they’re leaning into that drama, that fear, that doubt, and two, they have the support that they need to get past it.

If you listen to your drama, you will not get to the other side of the bridge. There’s no greater cost than that. There’s no greater cost than getting to the end of your life and realizing that your brain talked you out of all of your dreams.

So I want to give you guys that opportunity every day. When I say you can join Anything but Average, I’m giving you the opportunity to see that drama and choose anyway, and choose to take the first step on the Golden Gate Bridge to get to the other side of your dreams.

And coming up, I am going to give you guys that same opportunity because my mastermind is going to be opening on February 10th. So maybe you hear this and you’re like, holy crap, I have drama already. That is the well lit path to your dream. That is the direction you need to go.

So that’s what drama’s about, that’s why it’s here, that’s the new perspective you can have, and that’s how you start to get around it. I love you guys. Stay tuned, there will be more information to come on the mastermind.

Like I said, it doesn’t open until February 10th. Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @lindseymango_ for all the details there and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything but Average, where I will walk you through the step-by-step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

I love hearing from you!

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