[SCEO] 84: Chris & Linds Edition – From Heartbreak to Soulmate

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By the time you’re listening to this episode, Chris and I are three days away from getting married! In celebration, we thought we would do three episodes of us discussing our relationship and businesses to give you a little insight into our lives. Today, I’m bringing you the first of this series where we are doing a deep dive into Chris’s perspective of love and how we found each other.

I asked my social media audience for some questions you would like to hear us talk about, and I know that a big part of creating and living your dream life involves finding your dream relationship. Lots of you wanted to hear a male’s viewpoint on love and on finding your soulmate, and I think Chris has such a beautiful perspective.

Join us today on the first edition of three episodes where you’ll learn about Chris’s journey to finding love. Hopefully, this helps even just one of you to go after your dream person, without feeling the need to settle or convince yourself that they don’t exist.

If you are ready to finally commit to the change you want to create in your life, whatever area that may be, you need to join my Anything but Average program. You’ll learn the step-by-step process on how to make real change, and you’ll also get a lifetime of coaching with me and support in a wonderful community. Click here to find out more and I can’t wait to see you there!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • Chris’s journey in finding love.
  • How Chris made the powerful decision to leave his last relationship.
  • Some of the biggest lessons he had to experience to be where we are today.
  • The concept of “be, do, have” that applies to every aspect of personal development.
  • Why you have to have self-compassion when you’re healing.
  • What stepping into your highest self really means.
  • How Chris is able to be fully trust in our relationship after a traumatic experience.
  • Chris’s top tips for anyone who wants to find their soulmate.

Featured on the Show

  • Chris Goodman
  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream business a reality,  join my Mango Magic Business Academy.
  • Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available.
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Soul CEO aha! moments!
  • Don’t forget to grab your free training of my High-Vibe Formula (how I created a multiple six-figure business, attracted the man of my dreams, and created a life with complete time freedom…in less than 18 months)!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Lindsey: Hello, how are you guys? Oh my gosh, I am so excited to be here for another episode as always. But I’m especially excited because this episode will go live three days before Chris and I get married. And if you’ve been keeping up with the episodes or my Instagram, I’m pretty sure you know how many days we have left.

But I’m also super excited because I decided in celebration of our marriage that we would do three editions of the Chris and Lindsey show on my podcast. I decided we’re serious enough now that he gets to have a voice on this podcast.

But I asked my social media audience for some questions and I thought it would be fun to do a little bit of a deep dive because I know I’m constantly talking about creating and living your best life, and a huge part of that is romance and creating the relationship of your dreams. And so I thought it would be a great opportunity for you guys to hear from Chris and hear his perspective and hear from both of us together on how we found each other, how we have created a thriving relationship, and how we support each other when it comes to growing two successful businesses.

So this episode is going to be the first edition of three that will come out every week per usual on Wednesday, and today we’re going to talk about finding each other, and we’re going to deep dive with Chris a little bit on what brought him to me and his journey to getting here, and kind of his perspective.

A lot of you guys on social media wanted to know what’s a male’s perspective to finding his soulmate and how did he get here ultimately. So first, let me welcome my amazing fiancé Chris. He is here, I promise.

Chris: I am in the closet.

Lindsey: We were just cracking up actually before we jumped into it because aesthetic is important to me and I like to invest money, and we are sitting in our closet on a blanket on a laundry container with this microphone. I didn’t really realize it was a problem until he came in here to join me. So we might be investing in some new equipment. But anyway, welcome, Chris.

Chris: Thank you for having me to the closet show. I am very grateful because one of the things I hear from my clients and just randomly from people I meet, they love your podcast. I know why they love it, but I’m grateful because you guys show up and you support Lindsey consistently and eagerly. The responses to the question on Instagram about what you want to hear about is just a perfect reflection of that. So thank you guys for listening and thank you for having me.

Lindsey: Of course. So I wanted you to share a little bit about your story leading up to us meeting. So obviously my audience knows a lot about my side of the story, but I think it would be really impactful for all the women out there who listen to this podcast to hear a male’s perspective as well as your story because I think a lot of women experience some of the same things that you have in the past. So I would love for you to tell my audience about kind of your story to finding me and finding love.

Chris: Yeah, so it’s funny because I could tell this story in a way that could take three hours. Obviously I’m not going to do that but it’s funny also when you say from a male’s perspective because I don’t think we should distinguish male’s perspective versus female perspective when it comes to the story of our lives.

I think humans experience things in the mind, interprets it pretty much the same way whether we’re male or female most of the time. And my circumstances aren’t dramatically different because I’m male. Maybe I perceive some of it differently because I’m male, but at the end of the day, it’s still a matter of growing my mindset and growing myself through all these years. Each little moment leading up to meeting you. So let me see if I can connect the dots here. Let’s see. In 2013 I got married.

Lindsey: Not to me, everybody.

Chris: Yeah, this was different. And so I think a lot of times we see these great love stories that are like, the stars aligned and it worked out from high school. That wasn’t the case with me and Lindsey. I had to go through a marriage that lasted about a year and a half and that ended in divorce because she was unfaithful.

And normally that would be the story. Like oh, that’s terrible and that’s the story. For me, this was my worst nightmare. This was the one thing that I did not want to happen to me in my life was to be cheated on because I watched my parents go through that, which ended in divorce after 25 years of marriage. Maybe even more than 25 years.

I watched other family members and friends go through this and it was just – the thing that I experienced a lot of – I guess you could call it trauma around as a child, and I just had every intention of avoiding that. So I was going to be the guy that if I got married, it was going to be forever. Ironically, it lasted a year and a half, two years.

And so after that, I think that’s that moment where when you meet – especially entrepreneurs and they have a story, that’s how my story changed. Everything was going very well up to that point. It was like the entire sky fell. Everything turned inside out when I found out what was going on.

And from that moment on I was just a different person. It required me to grow in a lot of ways that I didn’t have to grow, like becoming independent, learning how to date again, learning how to manage my own mind. All of these things that you hear people go through when they have a traumatic experience.

So let me back up. So when you find out that you’re going to get divorced and you have no idea that that’s going to happen, that wasn’t anything that I had planned on, I didn’t see the train coming. It just literally happened overnight.

Lindsey: Was sucker punched, as we call it in my world.

Chris: Yeah, that’s exactly what it felt like. I found out what was going on and within three days I had moved all of my stuff out of my own house that I bought into my brother’s basement and was living in his basement in a little makeshift bedroom. And that’s not exactly how you think your week is going to end when you wake up and everything’s pretty much normal.

Lindsey: Really quick before you keep going, I think it would be really important to expand on I know a lot of females, sometimes we don’t leave after that point. And so I’m just curious, I really want you to share for the audience what created such boundaries and such a powerful decision for you?

Chris: To leave? The decision to leave?

Lindsey: Yeah.

Chris: Well, when someone purposefully does something to you, knowing it’s the one single thing, like that it’s just kryptonite to you, you don’t tend to think about it very forgivingly. And I want to be totally transparent that I actually – I was mad. I was beyond mad. I was 10 miles past mad and hurt.

And I was ready to file the papers almost immediately. And I spoke with my in-laws and they said look, you owe it to your family, to your marriage, to yourself to give it a shot. And I said look, I’m willing to entertain the idea of counseling or something. We’re going to have to move mountains to make this work if she is even interested in that.

And of course, when the question came up of do you want to go through that, do you want to entertain some kind of therapy or counseling, she was 100% out. So it made the decision even more expedient to say yeah, I am too because it’s like I said, I think for me it was how could I ever trust somebody again?

And I want to be clear, this wasn’t just – without getting into gore details, this wasn’t just a one-night stand kind of situation. This was an ongoing affair. So months after months of purposefully doing the one thing that was just terrible for me. And that’s putting it as delicately and lightly as I can.

So yeah, I think you have to have a sense of self-respect for your boundaries of it’s one thing to be committed, it’s another thing to say is this what I really want? And there was nothing about that that I wanted at that point because she didn’t either.

So it was clear we were going to get divorced. And the ugliness of all this, I’m being very light on the details for the sake of time of course, the ugliness was so raw and real. It was – within a couple of days I had started going to therapy for obvious reasons when you have your worse nightmare come true, you need to speak with a professional about it.

This was beyond coaching at that point. This was real emotional damage that I needed to heal and I felt like I needed a licensed therapist. So after about 10 sessions, I started to really lean into some of the personal growth work that I had been going through. Ironically, I had been in coaching for about two years at that point I think professionally.

And so I was able to really apply the personal growth principles I was learning to my personal life, in addition to understanding what was happening with my emotions. And this is how I can kind of dovetail it to where we are now.

I realized that I’ve always been me. My circumstances have changed throughout life, whether I was in the legal field and in law school, and then I quit and got into real estate, but I was still me through all of those times and changes. Well, this was a real test for who are you because you think – you wake up one day and you’re a nice guy, married, has a beautiful wife, a beautiful life, a beautiful house, and the next day…

Lindsey: Woah, woah, woah, did you just say beautiful to his ex-wife? No, I’m just kidding.

Chris: But you know, that was my identity at the time. And then you wake up the next day and you’re a shit show because I think I went three days without eating anything, I barely slept, and of course I’m just trying to figure out why it happened. And I think everybody who goes through something like that just constantly thinks what did I do wrong?

And I’m sure that some of your listeners have been at a point where it’s like, what did I do? And I had to really grapple with that that no, I’m not perfect, and no, there’s no reason to think that I’m Mr. Wonderful, but at the same time, these were autonomous decisions by someone else that had at that point, very little to do with what I was doing or not doing. It was what she saw as a way to fill her needs and meet her needs.

And yeah, so I had an opportunity to apply all this personal growth work that I was doing professionally to my personal life and basically, you can say it was the universe’s way or god’s way of testing me saying, oh really, you want to be the kind of guy that can handle anything? Well, let’s try this one for size.

So that I think was the backbone that got me through a lot of that and in addition to the tremendous resources and time and love from my family and my friends. But it reaffirmed how important personal growth work was to me because I realized that if that’s what’s helping me, guess what, that’s what can help other people when they have really serious life events happen to them and for them, which ultimately is how I began to see that.

That I didn’t want to be trapped in a marriage or any kind of relationship where the other person was unhappy. And where the other person didn’t care about my needs enough or my welfare enough to treat me the way I wanted to be treated.

So at the time, when I say at the time, within that week, within those first few months, maybe even six months, I could not understand that this didn’t happen to me. I could not say this happened for me, until maybe a year later. And now I see it for what it is, which was this event, as earth-shaking and emotionally damaging as it was, was the one thing that set me free to find you.

Lindsey: Thank you for that. Thank you for that for me, and for everybody listening. I’m curious and I’m sure a lot of my listeners will be – I want to know, what were the biggest things that you learned or kind of had to learn to grow through after that entire experience to ultimately be where we are today?

Chris: It’s hard to recount some of the most important lessons because I feel like I was learning thousands of lessons every day. But some of them that come to mind and that come up in my coaching with clients too is that everything is temporary. And our brains tend to focus intently on what’s happening now and what we’re worried is going to happen in the future or what we’re worried about happening in the past.

But the reality is everything is temporary. And the reason that gave me such peace at the time was the pain was going to be temporary. Somehow, some way, I was going to figure this out and get through it, whether it just took time, whether it just took 10 years, that’s still a temporary period.

It also made me realize that even our happiest moments are temporary. And it made me feel more grateful and more celebratory in those moments too. So I became very present at that point in my life because I realized I could spend all day – and sometimes I did spend all day and all night worrying about what was going to happen.

And worrying about if this was going to happen in another relationship, and what if it happened again? Would I even be able to get through that? And that worry just translated to nothing but anxiety and nothing positive. So the idea that everything is temporary really helped.

And then a couple things just come to mind in terms of lessons I learned. The saying that when somebody shows you who they really are, listen. And it is really challenging as that was, I realized I was wrong about who I thought this person was, or maybe she was wrong about who she thought she was.

But either way, we had months of raw evidence to highlight who she wanted to be at that time, and who she wanted to be at that time is not somebody I wanted to be with. So I think it pushed me and challenged me to show up like the person I want to be. And therefore, if anybody was listening, they could believe me that yeah, that is me.

Lindsey: There’s a couple times – there was one thing that you shared with me early on in our dating, when we talked about this, it was your therapist asking do you believe that the right person would do this to you? Because you really struggled with that and kind of grappled with that, and I think that was really impactful.

And I think that applies to business, that applies to life, that applies to everything. So if you just share a little bit more about that and that transformation, I think that would be awesome.

Chris: Yeah, so the idea that would the right person do this to you, number one, everybody makes mistakes. And I want to acknowledge that that happens. People make bad decisions and I get that. But would the right person over a long period of time do something so dramatically purposefully harmful to me?

And I thought no, actually that’s not what the right person for me would do. They would have either the courage to speak up or the courage to go to counseling, or all the things that I was asking for, they would have stepped up and said yeah, let’s fix this or let’s do something different, let’s get divorced now before I do something catastrophic.

So it made me realize, it was so weird at the time. I want you guys to appreciate that that was admitting that up was down. To say…

Lindsey: Yeah, I was going to say I think Chris married someone else all in, like this is my life-long partner. So I think that was a part of the grappling with this idea of I chose this person for life and this is what happened. Just understanding the idea like, was she really the right person? And also kind of taking responsibility in a way, obviously you didn’t cause this to happen, but seeing like hey, maybe she wasn’t the right person for me and I chose her and she wasn’t that person for me.

Chris: Yeah, and basically, being – working to be open to the idea that maybe after all that time, I was wrong, that maybe this wasn’t the right person for me. And that somehow – this is I think how Lindsey started to come into my world was that maybe somehow, this was making me available to something far better and more meaningful than anything I had ever experienced.

And in those dark times, you don’t want to think like that. You want to be sad and angry and hurt, and you want people to come down to that level. And the truth is you’re not going to find your soulmate at that level most of the time because they’re not unhappy. I think most of the people I speak with like Lindsey and I do, they meet in a higher vibration. Not in the low vibration.

And I realized if I want to meet someone at a certain point and be happy again or happier than I’ve ever been, I’ve got to claw my way out of this. And it’s not fair or appropriate to ask other people to pull me up after a certain point. And that’s how I started to kind of grow around that.

Lindsey: I love that, and I think – I mean, I think it’s also important to share that I’m sure you gave yourself time and space that you needed to heal and do all that like you talked about, but then deciding it was time to grow and become the person you needed to be to attract the person you wanted to end up being with is just really important to share too.

So one of the questions that we got that I wanted to expand on, kind of closing out this episode is – it’s funny because I’m the one he attracted to say this, but who did you have to become or what did you focus on doing to become the person you needed to become to attract your soulmate?

Chris: As if it’s like a one, two, three. No, I think where people get really screwed up is in this idea that you can have something before you’re the person who can have it. And what I mean is you’ll see this in lots of pockets of personal growth and development. The idea that first, you have to be someone who does the things who then can have those things.

So be, do, have is the way you typically see that in this industry. And I realized that it was not going to happen where I could say I want to have the relationship of my dreams if I didn’t become the guy who had that type of relationship. So I had to be healthy, I had to be happy, I had to not be wealthy but I had to be secure in my own life and lifestyle before I could attract someone like you.

So I had to just honestly make the decision, who do you want to be today? I want to be the guy that can attract someone like a Lindsey Mango and to be very transparent, I had dated in between the divorce and meeting Lindsey and really screwed things up.

I was a train wreck for a little while there. Anybody who’s gone through something like I did, you’re figuring it out. And I want you guys to have compassion for yourself and not be so judgmental against yourself when you’re reeling and healing because it’s very easy to be like, I should know better, I should know better, and you’re like a raw human being, very vulnerable human being at that time and you’re learning how to heal all that up and become stronger so that you can become the person who does the things that attracts the soulmate.

Lindsey: I love that. Thank you. There was two things that I wanted to add on this. I think one of them that you’ve always been such a beautiful example of, and I think it’s really important when we talk about stepping into the best version of yourself, I think a lot of times we think it’s being something that we’re not, and I think at some level it’s showing up from a loving and abundant place that’s really your highest self and not bringing that fear to the table.

But I also think one of the biggest things is realizing you’re enough as you are. And I think that is one of the biggest pieces of stepping into your highest self. Really believing that your whole – who you are as you are, your most loving, abundant version of you, and I think Chris has always been such a good example of that.

One question I have that I think would be really important to share is Chris, for me, has never once showed up from distrust in our relationship or with me. And I always have found that so amazing because I know how hard it would be for me to have gone through that experience and never once been jealous or questioned my significant other.

So I’m just curious for you Chris, and I think a lot of women could benefit from this, what allowed you to – again, I’m being totally frank here. Chris has never once – I throw my phone in my purse and don’t answer it for three hours. He might be like, hey, are you okay? But he’s never once questioned me and I always thought that was so admirable after such a traumatic experience. So what allowed you to do that?

Chris: That’s a great question. Well obviously, it’s a choice. When my ex was having an affair and not showing up, leaving at five in the morning and not coming home until 10 at night and telling me she was out running and practicing for triathlons and things, a lot of my friends were like, aren’t you worried that something’s going on behind your back?

And I was like no, why would I think that? Because this seems to be a pattern. And I just want to be totally clear, even though it was right there, I couldn’t see it. I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to think it was possible, and therefore it wasn’t possible so there was nothing for me to worry about.

So I was just kind of purposefully innocent about it is a good way to put in. And when I found out everything that was going on, yeah, I think I was very distrustful with all kinds of people and almost paranoid that this was going to show up in other places if the one person who’s supposed to love me better than anybody can do this, what could a stranger to do me or what could a new girl that I was dating do to me? How bad could that be?

And I want you to realize that I think I spent enough time thinking about those things and realizing it was never going to end up positively. And that those thoughts always ended in some kind of pain and suffering that I had to let that go.

Because it wasn’t my choice in the first place. No matter how much I had tried to – if I had tried to stranglehold this situation and say you’re not cheating on me, right? You’re not cheating on me, right? If I had tried to do that, it’s still up to them to decide if they’re going to go do that.

So very early in our relationship, I don’t know if you’ve ever told these stories or not, but I knew very early on that I was going to marry Lindsey. I really had zero doubt at a certain point. And even though she was full of doubt, I wasn’t.

Lindsey: I’m sure I’ve shared a little bit about that. That’s a whole ‘nother thing.

Chris: That’s what I’m saying. This story could be very long. But even though I didn’t have any doubt, she had to decide. And I had to create the space for her to decide. And basically say you’ve got to choose how you want to show up to this relationship.

So yeah, it would have been very easy for me to start dating you, especially very early on when I would text you and you would go six hours or 10 hours or 20 hours without responding…

Lindsey: I wasn’t playing hard to get. I was probably working on business or something.

Chris: And you guys, you know how sweet Lindsey is. She also has the read receipt on her text message so I could see when she would read it and I would sit there and I think in a lot of new relationships that’s easy to do. You check the text, you’re like, god, what is going on?

And I would see she had not read it yet. And almost every time, within a minute or two after reading it she would respond. So that was an interesting time for me because it was like, do you want to be full of doubt and mistrust or do you want to give this woman some space and let her be attracted to you?

And it was grueling. It was not comfortable. And no, I didn’t really enjoy that all the time, but I had to decide who I wanted to be. And I wanted somebody who was trusting and that could be trusted. And that wasn’t going to happen if I didn’t allow it. Does that make sense?

Lindsey: Yeah, 100%. I think in my mind, I always thought like, I’ve shared with you guys, I’ve definitely had – I knew from the moment I met Chris that I was going to marry him, but that commitment is really important and really big to me so I think that also scared me a little bit. So I had my own little fear and doubt and I think the fact that Chris showed up from love and held space and trusted and just was himself no matter what, that showed me a lot.

I think if he would have showed up in fear and met my fear with fear, it would have just combusted and just not have worked. So again, I just have always really admired that because I think that’s a hard choice to make. So in my mind, I’m like, did you ask yourself if I trusted or if I just knew she loved me, how would I show up and what would I do? Was that your road map or how did you do that when the fear did show up?

Chris: Well, I think we were both going through this parallel reckoning where I had a divorce to cause my reckoning of who are you. I identified as this married guy who had it all together and then suddenly I had nothing together. And I had to rebuild and decide. Make choices about who I wanted to be.

And meanwhile, you were doing your own thing of figuring out getting out of a long-term relationship and changing careers and having a world of possibilities open up in front of you and you having to step into that and say who do I want to be? So by the time we met, we were 100% who we are.

And that’s why I think it was so easy for us to fall in love when we started dating because it was like, I could see you choosing to be you fully and vice versa. And if I wanted to have the type of relationship we have, that required trust. Period. And I want you guys to understand that trust is like this invisible muscle in your relationship and you’re either choosing to exercise it or deteriorate it.

Lindsey: With every choice. Yeah, that’s so good.

Chris: And guys who are very mistrusting, I mean, how fast are you deteriorating that trust muscle? And for women who don’t have the option to exercise trust, well yeah, it’s going to become very difficult.

Lindsey: I love that. Awesome. Well, I want to ask one last question before we go and we’ll have two more episodes. The next one is going to be on how we’ve created a thriving relationship, and then the last one will be on our businesses and how we support each other in business.

But for this kind of segment, I want to ask for my followers and listeners, if someone wanted to find their soulmate, whether they came from some sort of brokenness or not, what would your top tips or recommendations be for them?

Chris: That’s a good question. I think about it in terms of a jigsaw puzzle. And after I kind of got my head together and I realized, okay, anything is possible, maybe the right woman is out there, maybe this was all designed to teach me some kind of serious lesson, also that I could find you, the right woman.

And well, if that’s the case, then how do you find her or him? I thought about it like dumping a jigsaw puzzle out on a table and there’s – maybe this is a huge 5000-piece crazy jigsaw puzzle. There are so many options, so many different pieces, so many possibilities.

So how do you find the one you really want? And then I thought about if that puzzle was actually complete minus one piece in the middle, so you can see all 4999 pieces are together minus the one in the middle, even though that piece is missing, you can identify it. You can see the curves of what’s not there, you can see it’s got four legs and not three, or what color it is.

And I started to think well, all I need to do is start figuring out what I want and what I don’t want. And if I can get really clear on that, this person will probably just show up and fill in the missing piece. And that’s what I did. I really got clear on well, she’s probably going to have to run her own business because I want a lifestyle of freedom, and that’s not going to work if you’re at a nine to five, five or six days a week.

I want somebody who’s into personal growth because I never want to stop growing. And that created a lot of conflict in my previous relationship and she didn’t want to do that and I did. And I wanted someone who appreciated family and I just started to put all this together of exactly who I wanted, paired with exactly who I didn’t want.

She doesn’t smoke. She is a laugher and she’s not a super serious all the time angry or anxious person all the time. So I didn’t have an intention with that other than clarifying for myself what my standard was. And it became very easy to look at women in a way of does she meet my standard or not?

To the extent that when I became single again, really single again, there was only one person I wanted to go on a date with. It was the only person who met my standard and I’m going to marry her.

Lindsey: And we are in three days, after this comes out. And I think it’s really important too to understand that. As you hear Chris say that, someone’s standard is going to match you. I think a lot of times women, and I know I used to do this a lot, we try to be – I always tried to be the cool girl or whatever girl, and I think it’s important to understand that your person is going to love you for who you are and the way you are that you don’t have to be like oh well, guys like Chris want x, y, z. I need to be something else that I’m not.

It’s more about being you and working towards being the best version of yourself and knowing that the right guy or the right person is going to be a match for that. I just think that’s really, really important to understand. And the last thing I wanted to add is I think a lot of times women, and I know I used to be like this, ask a male’s perspective because like Chris said, we think males are so much different.

And we think the way that they perceive things is so much different and we want to know, what’s the thing that they want or how should we play the game to fit into this puzzle? And I think it’s really important to understand that before I met Chris, I didn’t know if there were guys out there like Chris.

And I used to think there was a game to it or there was a way that I had to be and I think it’s really important to understand that a male’s perspective can be just like yours. It can be about finding your soulmate. It can be about finding the love of your life. It can be about having fun and just – I don’t know, I just think it’s really important because I think I used to ask that question and think like, how do I have to be to fit into this little box?

And I ended up not getting what I wanted because of that instead of just being the best version of me. And knowing that the right man will love that and I will share with you guys that it is the most freeing feeling, and Chris taught me so much about this. But it’s the most freeing feeling to just be myself, have my moments. Sometimes I’m an asshole, sometimes I’m emotional, not often, but…

Chris: No, you’re not.

Lindsey: But I’m just me and it’s the most freeing feeling because I just showed up as me from the beginning, and so I know that he loves me for me instead of trying to be a chameleon to fit into some sort of box to fit his needs, and then him later on finding out that – or me realizing like hey wait, he just loved the version of me that I put a show on for him instead of who I really am.

So anyway, I just thought this would be really, really powerful, especially with three days until our wedding. And I think Chris has such a beautiful perspective, and I would have loved to hear a male’s perspective too when I was looking for love.

Chris: Just a quick note because I’ve listened to Lindsey’s podcast obviously. Guys are just as susceptible to our thoughts as women are. So when you say I want a male’s perspective, what you’re really asking is what thoughts are you experiencing?

So the difference between me and most other guys, if not all the guys you dated or were around was that I had already started working on those thoughts and working on figuring out how to design a life I wanted and design a relationship I wanted. But that was just not possible until I had that awareness.

So if you’re listening to this going gosh, I wish I could find a guy that understood these kinds of things, well, look for the guy that wants to understand these things. I wanted to understand these things. I wanted a relationship that thrived on personal growth and growth together that never ended.

Lindsey: I love that. So one last question before we go. How do you feel knowing that this episode is going to come out three days before we get married?

Chris: I can’t believe it’s that close, number one. And number two, supremely grateful because I think my entire life I’ve wanted to marry you. I just didn’t know you were out there and I didn’t know you could treat me this well.

And knowing that that’s only a few days away and being able to share little pieces – this is just a peek behind the scenes of the shit I’ve gone through and the things you’ve gone through to get to three days away from the wedding. Being able to share that and help maybe one, maybe two, maybe 10 people is a huge, huge thing I’m grateful for.

Lindsey: Me too. Thank you. And I think I was thinking about this and I was going to create a post but I think the one thing I also want to share is don’t settle. Don’t convince yourself that there’s nobody out there like what you want, or that this is good enough. The way that I would say to create and find your soulmate is to not settle for something less than what you know you truly deeply want.

Because I’m 30, Chris is – I should know this. 34. And I thought I was going to be married by 25 but had I, I would have ended up with the wrong person. And I just think it’s so important. So just trust that your person is out there and don’t stop looking for them until you find them.

Anyway, thank you so much Chris, I love you, and I love all of you guys and I can’t wait to talk to you guys next week. Bye.

Thank you for tuning into today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you are ready to take this work deeper and you want to bring your dream business or a reality, I wanted to make sure that you knew that Mango Magic Business Academy was available to you. Head to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagic.

Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to a reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagiclifeschool for all the details. These programs are both life and business changing and you get access and coaching with me to walk through the modules and ask questions and get support to make your dream life or your dream business, or both a reality. I love you. I can’t wait to see you in there.

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