Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.
Hello, how are you guys? Oh my gosh, I’m so excited to be here for another week and another episode. I just have to tell you guys how eternally grateful I am for each and every one of you. The number of listeners has just been increasing, so if you’re new here, welcome. Thank you for being here.
And for those of you who have shared this podcast with people, thank you so much. You just never know when somebody needs to hear this message. So before we jump in, if you want to take a screenshot, share this on your Instagram, let me know you’re listening to it, tag me. You never know when somebody needs to hear this message and I am just so eternally grateful that this message is continuing to spread.
And I just really want to celebrate you guys for being willing to do this work. This work takes courage. This work can be uncomfortable, and you guys are here, you’re listening to this, you’re putting in the time, you’re working towards growing yourself and your life, and that is something to be super proud of, so I’m just celebrating you guys from my closet. I’m celebrating you and the fact that you’re showing up for yourself today.
So I’m super excited to jump into today’s topic because I actually had a follower reach out to me and she was experiencing a lot of discomfort because she was thinking about leaving a long-term relationship. Like, a 10-year relationship. And she was asking me if I had an episode about kind of my story about leaving my ex behind and how to know if it’s the right thing.
And it kind of made me think about how I haven’t really done an episode, one, on that, but two, what’s most important about it is making decisions. So I’m going to use that as an example and kind of share my experience with it, but the whole focus of this episode is really about how to make aligned decisions and how to know if you’re making the right decisions for you and your future self and your highest self.
So just to give you guys a little bit of background, when I started this work, I was in a long-term relationship of like, four years, and that was one of the places I wanted to spend my energy focusing on in my growth. Because for me, what I realized was that the same pattern was showing up in that relationship as it did in the previous relationship.
And these were different guys with different personalities, so I was like okay, I’m creating this. And the thing that kept coming up for me is that he never made me feel special enough. This was my story. This isn’t truth. I just think that’s important to share.
Didn’t do the things I wanted him to do, I felt like the spark was gone. So when I hired my coach, it was one of the things I really wanted to work on. And so I ended up about six months into coaching actually leaving that relationship, but I was a different person when I left that relationship than what I would have been had I just left when I initially felt like something was off.
And so I’m going to explain how to make powerful highest self decisions in any area of your life, and I’m just using a relationship as an example, and how I went through that process so that you can use it to make powerful decisions, whether that’s in your relationship, in your job, in anything you do.
Because what most of us like to do is we like to take the same actions from the same place and run away from oh, this isn’t what I want, I just need to run away and leave, or I hate this job, and we don’t really show up for the lessons.
So with all of that said, if you were wanting to make a decision, I think it’s really important to take the decision to heart and really spend some time thinking about especially if it’s something important and serious for you. So here is kind of my process of how I made that decision and how I would recommend for you guys to make decisions in your life.
So the first thing was I took responsibility. So I started to take responsibility in the relationship and why I was feeling the way that I was. Taking responsibility for the way I felt, the way I was thinking about the relationship, the resentment I was creating. I took full responsibility and ownership over the experience I was having in the relationship and I worked on changing that.
So how did I do that? I started to look at well, why do I feel this way? What am I thinking? How am I creating this? And I started shifting that. I’ll never forget, I used to be frustrated about the dishes and I realized that I was making it my job that I had to put the dishes away, so I was frustrated when he wouldn’t help, even though nobody made that rule but me.
So I think the first part when you are wanting to make a decision is to first make yourself fully responsible for how you’re feeling. Now, I think it’s important to be clear. I’m not talking about an abusive relationship or anything like that. So if you’re in that type of relationship, the decision is to do what’s best for your safety.
But I’m talking about in a situation where you’re giving up your power and you’re making your circumstance responsible for how you’re feeling, and I was making my boyfriend at the time responsible for how I was feeling. And I knew if I didn’t learn that lesson then, I would never. And honestly, I don’t think I would be in the relationship I am today had I not learned that lesson.
So first part of making a powerful decision for yourself is to take ownership. Why do you feel the way you do? Why are you thinking the way that you do? Why are you choosing what you’re choosing? And really shifting it for yourself. How can you create the atmosphere you want to create? How can you create the feelings you want to create? How can you take your power back and realize you’re creating the situation that you have?
So that’s the first step. And for me, that took months. I had to constantly work on my thoughts about it, I had to constantly shift how I was feeling, do this work, and slowly, I started to feel differently in the relationship. In fact, I actually felt happier, you guys, when I left the relationship than I did when I had first hired my coach.
And that’s because I learned how to take responsibility for my own emotional world. So that’s the first part. I think the second part is asking yourself, what is this here to teach me? I was like okay, this is here to teach me to take responsibility.
This is here to teach me how to make myself feel special, make myself feel taken care of, give myself what I need and want, because that’s what I was doing in the relationship. I was giving up all of my power to my boyfriend and making it his job to make me happy, and it is not his job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy.
So that’s the second thing is asking yourself, what is this here to teach me? And then I think as you do that work, as you start to see yourself shift, and as you really change how you feel, then I think you’re ready to make a different decision.
So once I created happiness and I really felt whole and full, that’s actually when it just hit me that he wasn’t the right person for me. And I think he also knew I wasn’t the right person for him. So I think it’s a matter of doing that work and then the third piece of making powerful decisions is like, once you feel totally responsible and have ownership over how you’re feeling, then it’s saying okay, now that I feel happy, do I want to stay or do I want to leave?
Would my higher self put up with this? Would my higher self allow this? And you also – I mean, with that growth, you have to start setting boundaries. You have to start growing into that person because the other person, the job, anything might turn into your dream if you start showing up as the person who you’re acting like you are in your dream life and you’re creating your dream life. They might end up being the right person.
And honestly, if I never learned how to make this switch, I think that I would have just kept recreating this in my relationships and like, kept leaving them and never really found Chris and gotten married and all of that. So the last piece of it is really understanding when you’re making any decision, after you do the first two parts of this process is then saying like, what would my higher self do here?
Knowing that I’m happy, is this really want I want? And making a powerful decision from there. And I know it’s so challenging sometimes and it’s so hard and it’s so painful, and sometimes it takes a little while to really get yourself there. Whatever decision you have to make, but just know that whatever is best for you, if you’re making this decision from a place of alignment and your higher self, it’s going to be what’s best for everyone.
My ex I’m sure is so – I’m pretty sure he’s dating someone else, so happy, probably his perfect fit. I’m so happy, I have the life that I want, so really it’s what’s best. Same thing with jobs. I’m sure my company didn’t want me to be doing a job that I wasn’t passionate about and that I wasn’t doing my best at because I didn’t love it.
So it’s like, if you’re in alignment and you’re a wonderful person, what’s best for you is ultimately going to be what’s best for everyone around you, even if they immediately don’t experience it that way. So that’s what I wanted to share with you guys today. I love you so much.
I can’t wait to speak with you on next week’s episode. There are some major changes actually that are going down in this podcast and in my business and all the things, so stay tuned. I love you guys and I will chat with you soon. Bye.
Thank you for tuning into today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you are ready to take this work deeper and you want to bring your dream business to a reality, I wanted to make sure that you knew that Mango Magic Business Academy was available to you. Head to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagic.
Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to a reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagiclifeschool for all the details. These programs are both life and business changing and you get access and coaching with me to walk through the modules and ask questions and get support to make your dream life or your dream business, or both a reality. I love you. I can’t wait to see you in there.