[SCEO] 105: Ownership

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An integral part of my signature program that I teach to my clients is about taking ownership and responsibility of the results they have in their lives. This is the one thing that absolutely transformed my life when I started implementing it for myself. When I didn’t have the relationship of my dreams, when I was working jobs I hated, when I was barely making ends meet, this one tool gave me the power to change all of it.

While this concept seems simple, it’s easy for taking ownership to spiral out into blame and shame when you have a result that you don’t want or like. This is where learning to have compassion for yourself comes in, so that even if you’re not thrilled about a certain outcome, you have the ability to change it and create something new.

Join me this week to see how taking ownership can empower you to create a life that you love and give you the opportunity to grow. This isn’t about judging yourself and beating yourself up over decisions you wish you could change, but rather giving yourself the power to gain awareness and choose a future you want.

If you are ready to finally commit to the change you want to create in your life, whatever area that may be, you need to join my Anything but Average program. You’ll learn the step-by-step process on how to make real change, and you’ll also get a lifetime of coaching with me and support in a wonderful community. Click here to find out more and I can’t wait to see you there!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • Why we like to avoid ownership and taking responsibility.
  • What ownership is really all about.
  • The difference between ownership and blame.
  • How to have compassion for yourself in taking ownership of your results.

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream business a reality,  join my Mango Magic Business Academy.
  • Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available.
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Soul CEO aha! moments!
  • Don’t forget to grab your free training of my High-Vibe Formula (how I created a multiple six-figure business, attracted the man of my dreams, and created a life with complete time freedom…in less than 18 months)!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hi girl, welcome to Soul CEO; a podcast for women who know they’re destined for more. I’m Lindsey Mango and I’m going to show you that you can have it all and teach you how to get it by becoming the CEO of your soul, life, and business. Let’s get started.

Hello, how are you guys? And welcome back to another week and another episode. You might hear a little pep in my step. I am literally mid-launch of my signature program, Anything but Average, and I am just so on fire for the women who are courageously saying yes to themselves and the life that they want to create and the change that they are already seeing in their lives.

I am so jacked up about it and I want you guys to know that as you’re listening to these episodes, if you want to continue this work, that program is open and available for you. So lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage is where you can find out all the details. This is the only way to work with me and yeah, it’s just a mind-blowing program.

And I’m actually going to teach you guys today that is an integral part of this program and is super important to create change in your life, and that thing is ownership and taking responsibility. I’ve talked about this a little bit before, but I wanted to go in more depth, in more detail, into what that actually means.

Because here’s what I will tell you; the reason why my life drastically changed three and a half, four years ago is because of this. The reason why women that I serve, the clients that I have, the women in my programs create results in their life is because of ownership. Ownership is one of those interesting things that our brain likes to avoid because it keeps us safe and it keeps us feeling protected and it keeps us feeling validated.

So let’s jump in. When I say ownership, here’s what I mean. I mean taking responsibility for your perspective and your part, the part you’re playing in the results that you’re creating in your life. So I want to be clear that that doesn’t mean we’re in control. We’re not god, but we’re not in control of every single circumstance that happens in our lives.

Like, there are circumstances that are unknown, unexplainable, things that happen. Like, you can’t control your mom, you can’t control your friend, you can’t control that guy driving the car down the street. But ownership and responsibility isn’t about controlling those things. It’s about controlling and taking ownership over you and the part you are playing in those situations.

Because what we don’t realize is that the part we are playing and the ownership and the responsibility that we are taking is going to dictate what happens next and what results we create in our lives. So when I say ownership, what I mean is just seeing and looking at how you have control over how you’re reacting to something, how you’re thinking about something, what actions you are taking, and seeing how big of a role – that’s the biggest role – that that is playing in the life that you have.

So ownership is about seeing how you’re contributing to that. Now, the biggest thing with ownership is again, there’s a difference between ownership and blame. A lot of times people like, blame themselves when they take ownership, which is why they try to kind of avoid it. They make themselves feel bad. They’re like, well, why would you have done that if you got this result that you didn’t want, or why did you take the job that you hate, or why did you date that guy that ended up cheating on you, right?

This isn’t about blame. Blame comes from lack and fear and making yourself feel bad. When I say ownership and responsibility, what I mean is giving yourself power. And the way you can avoid blame is by having compassion. How can you see that you are doing the best you could in that moment?

How could you see and take ownership over the fact that your brain made a decision because it probably was trying to keep you safe and protected? Or that it was something that you learned when you were a kid. And that is what allows you to have compassion. Because for me, when I started to take ownership, what a lot of my clients do, they start to feel the effects of blame.

And when you bring compassion into the mix, that can change everything. Like when I look back, the reason why I kept changing my job is because I thought my job’s job was to make me happy, and I was making my decisions from that. And I was doing the best I could at that moment. I didn’t realize that I had to create happiness within myself and fulfil it in myself and then go find the passion and the purpose that I was meant to serve on this planet.

So when I look at it like that, I can say, well, I don’t have to blame myself. I can have compassion for the fact that I was taught my whole life that you get a job and by society that you just get a job, you do the things, and this is how you solve the problem. Until I learned otherwise.

So again, I think one of the biggest things with ownership is not blaming. Just taking responsibility and having compassion, but once you have that responsibility, you also have the power to make a different decision. So what does all of this actually mean? What does this actually look like when it comes to applying it in your life?

When I say taking ownership, what I mean is looking at all of the things in your life that maybe you’re not super thrilled about, like maybe you want them to grow, maybe you want bigger results, and asking yourself like, what perspective do I have or what thoughts am I having that are contributing to this result that I’m creating.

Or what choices did I make to put myself in this position? A lot of times people feel like they have to go to their job, like there’s no other option because they have a mortgage to pay, they have kids to feed. They have debt to pay off. But what we have to recognize and take ownership over is that you choose to go to the job and you’re choosing to also pay off your debt and pay your bills and put food on the table.

And just that small shift makes such a big difference. It feels so much more empowering versus when you don’t have ownership, you are a victim. You have no power. You have no choice. And it feels terrible to not feel like you have choice.

So the thing I want you guys to take from this and go out and apply is look at your life and ask yourself, how am I contributing to the results I have, the results that I’m not happy about? Like, where did I make a choice that created this? How can I own and take responsibility for these results?

The next piece of it is really saying okay, how can I have compassion for myself? How was I doing the best that I could? How is the programming in my mind, from my childhood, creating this? And it doesn’t mean when you think that, it’s not like you’re a victim to that, but a lot of times we’ve been trained a certain way our whole lives and that’s why we show up the way that we do. So that creates the space for compassion.

Then the work, once you take that ownership, is saying okay, how can I think differently about this to feel differently? How can I have a different perspective to create a different result? If I am realizing that I am choosing this thing and I really don’t want to choose it, what else can I choose? What other decisions can I make?

And what you do when you have ownership, you have power. And when you have power, you can create whatever you want in your life. So something I want to challenge all of you who are listening to this is to look at all of the places that you blame or make your circumstances responsible for why you feel the way you feel and why you don’t have what you have.

Are you making your significant other responsible for you not feeling special? Are you making your job or your boss’s fault for why you haven’t moved on in your career? Or are you making it your bank account’s fault that you can’t do something?

One of the biggest shifts that the women in Anything but Average are making is seeing how they are creating every single result they have in their life and how they are contributing and taking ownership over that. So something that I work on with them and in my own life and with every client that I work with is any time they’re like, well, I couldn’t get it done because of x, y, z, or my kid was sick, or I can’t invest because I don’t have enough money or I have student loans or I have debt.

Now, I’m not saying that these things don’t contribute to challenges. Your kid gets sick, that can be a challenging thing. But what I am saying is that it’s an opportunity to say I chose to take care of my kids instead of be on the live coaching session. And that’s a great thing. I’m not saying when you realize that that you need to make a different decision. I’m saying that you’re giving yourself your power back and taking responsibility and being like, hey, I consciously made this choice.

And that’s what I think is so important. Same thing with money. Whenever people come to me and they’re like, “Well, I can’t because I don’t have the money,” I’m like, we need to change this story because what you’re doing is you’re giving your money the responsibility and the power over you, instead of you being the one that gets to decide.

And that changes the whole dynamic. So I always tell people, I’m like, you could say I’m choosing to not get an extra job, I’m choosing to pay off my debt, I’m choosing to do this thing first, before I invest in this. Now, what that does is it gives you this awareness and this power to look at it and say I’m happy with this choice, this choice is in alignment with the life I want to create, or I’m not happy with this choice and I need to choose something differently.

So when you have ownership, you have power. When you have power, you get to decide. So where in your life are you making something else responsible for how you feel and the decisions you’re making? And what would it look like to take total power over that and change your language to I am choosing this, this is what I’m choosing in this situation. Not it’s this person’s fault, it’s my bank account’s fault, it’s my job’s fault, it’s any of these thing’s fault.

Again, our brain has been wired to do this. So this isn’t about judgment. It’s about compassion, and really, I want to give you guys the power to create a different life. So again, work on not using any of your circumstances as an excuse or as a reason why you can or can’t do something. Start saying I chose this, and owning that. Even if you realize after the fact you wish you didn’t choose that, that’s okay. That’s awareness. There’s an opportunity to grow.

So what I want you guys to do is take this and I want you to be really aware this week of where you are making other things responsible. Take ownership, take your power back, look at what you’re choosing, and decide, do I like what I’m choosing? Can I celebrate myself for what I am choosing and owning that? Or can I not and what different choice do I need to make because now I have the power?

Guys, this is when your life changes. I truly believe I have 100%, 1000% control over every single thing I’m doing in my life, and you might be thinking well, that’s because you have freedom and you have these things, but I did this, the way I created this was by taking ownership when my life didn’t look like this.

When I didn’t have the relationship of my dreams, when I was working a job that I hated, when I was barely making ends meet. So taking ownership now means being able to take ownership in the future and taking ownership now is going to create your future and give you the ability to create it.

So I love you guys. If you want to take this work deeper, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. I cannot wait to hear your feedback about this episode and watch you take massive ownership over your life. It’s going to change your life, just this one thing. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you next week.

Thank you for tuning into today’s episode of Soul CEO. If you are ready to take this work deeper and you want to bring your dream business to a reality, I wanted to make sure that you knew that Mango Magic Business Academy was available to you. Head to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagic.

Or if you don’t have a business and you are ready to bring your dream life to a reality and know you are meant for more, my Mango Magic Life School is also available. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/mangomagiclifeschool for all the details. These programs are both life and business changing and you get access and coaching with me to walk through the modules and ask questions and get support to make your dream life or your dream business, or both a reality. I love you. I can’t wait to see you in there.

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