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Ep #68: Stop Waiting for Permission with Heather Kolwich

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Welcome back to another interview this week! You’ll be hearing from my client Heather Kolwich today who is a wellness and mindset coach, and she helps high-achieving women manage the chaos, decrease stress, and manage their brains to create the life of their dreams.

Every single one of my clients who has been on the podcast so far has been such a perfect example of the work we do and the transformations available for you when you join Anything but Average. Heather is no different, and she’s here to share her journey of starting her coaching business and her experience of taking the plunge to invest in herself.

Listen in this week as I quiz Heather on what her life looks like today and the steps she took to get the results she wanted. As women, we are so often waiting around for permission to follow our dreams, and Heather is inviting you to stop sitting on the sidelines and instead take that first step towards your dream life and business.

My three-day free training called 3 Days to Launch, which I only do twice a year, is starting on Monday, July 19th! It’s where you’ll learn everything you need to know to launch your business in just three days. In addition to three days of live training, you’ll also get access to a free group, homework, and an e-book that teaches you how to launch your business, so click here to join us!

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in my signature program, Anything but Average. It’s where I’ll walk you through everything you need to know about starting a coaching business, so click here to enroll and I’ll see you on the inside! 

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • The transformation that Heather experienced in her own life.
  • What triggered Heather’s journey into wellness and coaching.
  • The tipping point that led to Heather joining Anything but Average.
  • How joining ABA helped Heather move her business forward.
  • Heather’s experience of taking the plunge to join ABA.
  • The key to getting the results you want, no matter what program you invest in.

Featured on the Show

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hey guys, before we jump into today’s episode with Heather, I want to make sure that you know the three-day free training extravaganza called 3 Days to Launch, a training that I do only twice a year live is starting on Monday.

I’m going to teach you everything you need to launch your business in three days. If you’ve been waiting to launch this year, or halfway through the year, this is going to set you up to launch your business and spend the next six months signing clients and helping people instead of spinning in confusion.

If you are on the fence about starting a coaching business and want to know what it looks like to launch and start your coaching business in three days, make sure to join us. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/3daystolaunch.

The link will also be in the show notes. I’ll see you guys on the inside. You’ll get access to a free group as well as three days of live trainings, homework, and an e-book that teaches you about how to launch a coaching business. Alright, let’s jump into the episode.

Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.

Lindsey: Hey guys. Welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. I am so excited because this week, we have Heather Kolwich on. She is a wellness and mindset coach and she helps high-achieving women manage the chaos, decrease stress, manage their brains, so they can create the life of their dreams. Heather is a speech pathologist who got into the coaching industry, how long ago Heather?

Heather: Probably three years ago I started my official journey.

Lindsey: Three years ago. And she has been a part of Anything but Average for how long? Just came out of the gate asking you questions.

Heather: Since February, March, February I think so.

Lindsey: So good. And I’m just so excited to have her on because the way she shows up for her growth, the way she shows up to add value to the world, and how she has started her business and created clients has been super inspiring to watch as her coach and as her mentor, and I wanted her to be able to come on here and share her journey with you. So welcome Heather, I’m so excited to have you.

Heather: Thank you very much for having me on. I’m thrilled.

Lindsey: So I want you to start at the very beginning in sharing your journey and your story from did you always feel like you were meant for more? You got into speech pathology, where did your journey begin in finding coaching and deciding you wanted to start a coaching business?

Heather: Yes, hope you’re ready for this.

Lindsey: I’m ready. I’m like, back when I graduated college whenever people ask me this. I’m like, that’s where it started.

Heather: Back when. So I always have been really interested in wellness and health. At a young age playing sports, I did get into – I was a pharmaceutical rep after college. And then went back to do a Masters in speech pathology because I wanted to help people. And that journey has led me to really help a lot of people in bringing rehabilitation and strokes, traumatic brain injury, cancer.

And every time though I would be working with people in speech pathology, I would think to myself, “But what if I could have reached them a few years ago so they could have had more of a well life, a healthier life?” Because when they came to me, they wanted to know everything they could to get better, not just for communication but also how could they live healthier.

And it really was always tugging at me. I really want to help these people before they have a stroke or whatever kind of chronic lifestyle diseases that they would have. So I started dabbling, looking into wellness, but it was really when fast forward four kids, working full-time, and having almost mini anxiety attacks coming on, my stress was over the top, and I was overindulging.

Overindulging in eating, overindulging in drinking, overindulging in drama. Everything like that, while working full-time, and I actually had physiological changes where – and I do say to people, if you feel like you’re having some kind of issues, cardiovascular, get checked out. And I did have a full cardiac check out.

They said there’s nothing wrong with you, and I said, “But I feel like a flutter in my throat.” I find out later it was actually a sympathetic nervous system overload. And what they – the doctors were going to give to me was just okay, here you go, you can take a medication, we don’t think you really need it, but it’s just like if you’re really stressed then maybe you need this.

And I said no, I think I want to do it holistically. So that started in my journey in diving deep into yoga. And with the breathwork and the yoga, within two weeks, that feeling, that physiological overwhelm and that flutter in my throat area had minimized and within four weeks it completely had gone away.

And the feeling would come up whether or not I was happy or really nervous. It was just sort of a flutter that would happen. And what I did with the yoga and breathwork is I actually stopped that fight or flight response. I actually brought in and activated more regularly the parasympathetic nervous system.

And I am a science geek, a brain geek. I love science, and I really wanted to know more about that. So that was the beginning part of my journey. And at the time, I also said I needed to do something to get myself out of the rut of overindulging.

And I started working out more regularly, then it led to the nutrition, and everything, all my experiences have really led me to this point where I’m merging the brain science with my spiritual yoga, meditation, breathwork, along with the stress management that really helped me to go from surviving to thriving as a busy working mom.

I actually feel healthier now and I’m 52. Healthier now than I did when I was 42. And I just want all of these women to know that they can have a high-achieving job, I’m busier than I ever was, but I’m able to incorporate my techniques, my coaching techniques, and my self-care techniques so I’m able to show up as a mom, in my career, as a business builder, and as a coach for high-achieving women.

So it’s really my mission to help high-achieving women fit wellness into their lifestyle and that can be across the board, anything in life, wellness, mindset, really everything.

Lindsey: Wow. That’s so good. So tell me more. So you start to – you have this transformation. I think this is so fun because I’ve been doing interviews from my best students from ABA. And whether they started coaching right when they joined, or started it before and then joined after, everybody goes through that own personal transformation.

And that’s one of the pillars that ABA has been built on. Changing your own life, using coaching tools to create your own transformation. It’s been really fun to hear all of your experiences that whether you did that when you first joined or before, it was such an integral part of developing that passion and that mission for coaching and for giving back and serving others. So it’s just really cool to hear your journey with that and how it unfolded.

How did that play a role in you wanting to be a coach? I mean, I think that’s an obvious answer but what did that look like for you? Going through that transformation, seeing how you could be healthier, better at 52 than you were at 42. What was that whole transition like? I don’t know how to ask the question but how did that light a fire in you when you went through your own transformation?

Heather: Well, I could see people around me. Friends and family struggling and actually struggling silently a lot of times. And that was me. I was struggling on the outside, it was like, everything’s great. And on the inside, I was just like, please help me. And everyone that I talked to in a consult or even friends on the side, or my coaching clients, you would never realize the suffering and just the survival mode that they’re all in.

And I knew my higher purpose was more than just coming in and clocking in. It’s more than just a paycheck. It’s more than just me coming and having a job nine to five. I’m here to merge all of my academics and all of the information that I’ve learned and to make it, the information digestible for people to understand and apply to their life.

Because I think we’re so overwhelmed as a society that we don’t even know where to start. So it’s really that fire that was lit is the mission of I need to help people take control of their mindset, of their wellness. They can take control just like I did so we can all live out our higher purpose.

I want people to be able to – and women to be able to develop their higher purpose and their dreams in their life because for me, I started to let some of those go on the back burner while I had my kids. Love my kids, love them dearly, the best thing of my life. But I had to put my – I did put my dreams to the side. And I really feel like I was able to find that balance of being able to really ignite the fire of my purpose.

Lindsey: So good. So when you found coaching and you were like, this is something I want to do, what did that decision process look like? Did you have any drama then when you decided you were going to follow your passion and start your own coaching business?

Heather: It’s really interesting because I know – you’ve talked about it before. It’s like, you don’t have to be certified to be a coach and you don’t have to be. In my mind, three years ago, four years ago almost, I was like, I need to be certified.

Lindsey: Totally common. Makes sense, right? You’re a scholar so a lot of our brains are like, this is how we do it.

Heather: And the – I was confident in the program. I started with the program and realized it was a lot more hours than I was expecting. So it did take longer, and I was often on with it, but I still knew, I thought, “Well, I can’t really coach until I’m completely finished.”

And it actually had three major levels that I had to complete. And literally, when I started following you and I was, I think at Christmas time this past year, and following your IG stories and then I thought to myself, “Well, maybe I would sign up with her but I can’t until I finish my certification.”

But I kept through the past three or four years, I actually did do network marketing. So I did network marketing. You probably didn’t realize this but I was promoting fitness programs and nutrition programs and I loved the programs and the structure, but I didn’t want the business side of it.

I didn’t want to teach somebody how to grow their business. I wanted to get right to the person and just solely focus on that. So I realized, but I was going back and forth going, “Oh, but I could do this, this network marketing, because it looks all nice and flashy and it looks great and it’s a fun group of people.”

But that’s not what I want to do. I want to help people directly at the source. And I wanted my own business. I wanted my rules, my own business. So all this is going on in the last two, three years, and it was – what was the tipping point was I joined your three-day webinar on Facebook. The three-day group.

And it was the second day and everything that you were saying I was like, yes, I get it, it was very clear, you have a very succinct way and very – it’s not a lot of fluff. But you give – I love your analogies by the way. They’re the best.

Lindsey: Thank you.

Heather: And I just – I was saying to myself, this is what I need. It’s not just here’s my business, but I still needed to work on my confidence and my clarity in myself as a person but as a coach. And having those too in your program, that’s really what sold me on it. I was like, wow, this is it. And it was that simplified I can do it; I can get started today. And that’s really what I did.

I just jumped in and I said I have everything – most things set up, but I wasn’t certified yet. I don’t care, still doing it. I had posted on Facebook and Instagram consistently over the last couple of years, but my whole mindset was not the right energy. And that’s a key thing. It wasn’t the right energy.

I was doing some of the actions but it wasn’t the correct energy behind it for my coaching. So when I joined ABA, it really helped me focus in on and gain clarity on really staying focused, what am I doing, what are the steps, and follow those steps. And I did get certified in the last bit of May. So I did finish my certification.

Lindsey: So good. Guys, for you listening, so I interact with my students every day in ABA but I don’t always know their whole story and I’m like, oh my gosh Heather, this is so good for so many people to hear because so often we’re waiting on whatever the thing is. The certification, it doesn’t matter, we’re waiting on the permission to start.

And I think that’s one of the biggest things you’re showing people is the permission doesn’t come from that. The permission comes from you deciding and I think you’re such a good example of that because it is so easy to keep waiting.

Just to point out, I think that’s what was happening and you can tell me if I’m wrong, is you were posting, you were doing all the things, but you weren’t actually available to sign clients because I’m guessing you kept thinking, “Well, I got to wait until I have my certification to actually start making offers and telling people that I can help them and signing clients.” So that was the gap that was keeping you from having your business move forward. Does that feel like what was happening behind the scenes?

Heather: Exactly. So I would post this, I thought, amazing information, here’s a checklist, here’s the to-dos, here’s the whatever, but then I would just leave it like that. I wouldn’t even offer. I wouldn’t say DM me, fill out this form, you can work with me as a coach. I wasn’t putting any of that in.

I was like, I’m missing so many of these opportunities. I am missing so many of these opportunities and I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So that was one definitely is I didn’t – I was waiting. I was waiting, like you said, for everything to line up perfectly.

Lindsey: Yes. And it’s so fun you got your certification. I’m not anti-certification at all. Lots of students have them, many of them don’t. But it really is about how much more do you learn by getting out there starting, starting helping people, signing clients, than sitting on the sidelines and waiting. Actually working on your own mindset, it’s like, you’re constantly that student and starting is what pushes you forward to face whatever drama or fears are holding you back, which I think you’re such an example of that.

Heather: Yes, truly. That’s what it was. That was one of the parts.

Lindsey: So good. Okay, so how did you feel when you took the step and joined the program and decided I’m not done with my certification for however long, but I’m starting, I’m joining? What was that experience like for you?

Heather: It was definitely start and start doing on Friday, I think I signed on Friday, so Friday night I was right into listening to things and watching your videos and in the modules. And I had a bit of drama because I was thinking considering of joining a different program, and I was like, but what if I should have joined that other program instead of that?

And of course, I said no, I’m going to trust in this because it has what I need right now. And that’s a key part is that I trusted in the process and in the program. And I trusted that when I can work on myself and I know what my purpose is and I consistently offer, then I can reach – the right people will come to me.

And they have. The right people find me. So it was really – so I also made sure that every Wednesday, I think I’ve missed one of the weekly coaching calls. I don’t miss them. I’m there, I may not always – I usually interact. There’s a couple times that I work in between my workday, so I am working, but you had said at the beginning make it a priority and I did.

I thought okay, I’ve invested in this program and the way I’m going to see my growth is by doing something that maybe it’s just a small step but it’s a real crucial step because it kept me accountable. It kept me focused on my goal. It continues to keep me focused on my goal.

Lindsey: So good. Because you’re working full-time, and this is the thing, even something that seems small like committing to a weekly one-hour call is so huge because of who you have to become by prioritizing that. Working a busy job the way you do, having four kids, you’ve got a lot on your plate. But how much did you grow in that alone? Just by making that decision and showing up for yourself and your business every week?

Heather: I think it was a really important part because again, in this overindulging environment that we’re in, we can pile on too many things and I really became laser focused on okay, these are the steps and these are the things that need to be done. Because I don’t have a lot of the extra fluff time.

I need to get the information, apply it, and consistently do that week after week. And I love that I learn from other people too because other members put in their experiences and their questions. So I am paying attention to everything that people are communicating with you and your coaching that you’re giving them. But I’m not creating drama in myself going, oh no, what about – how does that apply to me?

Lindsey: You just find a lesson in it no matter what. And I think that shows too in that whole decision because there’s lots of programs out there, there’s lots of paths to take. And somebody actually asked me this on a free training this last week. They were like, I was thinking about another program too and my question was super simple.

It was if you knew you were going to get results in any program, which one would you choose? Because a lot of us like to think it’s the decision about what’s going to get me the results. But really, the question is why don’t you believe you’re going to get the result? Because if you believe you get results then it doesn’t matter which program you join. You’re all-in, you commit no matter what, and you kind of have those – I think of them as – what do horses wear on their eyes? Blinders.

It’s like you have blinders, you go all-in, you’re going to create the outcome. If you believe you’re a person who gets outcomes, if you show up, if you do the work. But if you’re spending all this time staying in confusion and thinking like, should I be over there, should I be over there? Then you’re not putting everything into the program that you’ve decided on.

So I think that’s a common thing that people spin in confusion about which one’s the right fit. Should I do something else? When if they just put the blinders on, focus, went all-in, decided they were going to get results no matter what out of the program that they choose, that’s how you get the outcome.

And I think that’s such a good thing to point out because I think that was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself when I first started this entire journey is I really constrained. I didn’t do 20 different programs, I didn’t coach with 20 – I wasn’t bouncing from coach to coach, do this, this, this, because I knew I’m the one that creates the outcome. And so I don’t need 100 different things, I don’t need to jump around. I need to focus on showing up and getting everything I came for out of the one thing that I choose.

Heather: Yes.

Lindsey: Sounds like you did the same thing.

Heather: Yeah, totally.

Lindsey: So where are you now? You joined the program, you get started, what does your business look like today? What does your life look like today because of joining?

Heather: Well, it is – I’m busy and I love it and I will soon be in the next month or two really shifting. So I’m going to shift the tide from working full-time in the clinic to more – I’d like to work full-time as a wellness coach. That’s really my end goal.

So I’m seeing a shift in – because of the number of clients that I’m working with, and also just for me to take each of these days as opportunities to look at, okay, reevaluate, where am I at? Where am I best serving my purpose? I keep going back to okay, am I living out my purpose? And what can I do next? For coaching though, I’m planning on doing full-time coaching. And planning by the fall time that I’ll be full time.

Lindsey: So you’re going to be a full-time coach by fall?

Heather: That’s my goal. And it’s not even just a goal, it’s a done deal. I want the flexibility. The flexibility that coaching allows.

Lindsey: So amazing. And how does it feel to think that’s literally just in reach? Because you’ve signed, what? Two pay in full clients, you’re signing more, and you’re going to be out of your job by fall. What does that feel like?

Heather: Well, of course it can feel when the little bit of how is it going to get done, oh no, I always want to know the steps. And I keep coming back to okay, well, I’m going to do that. That’s why I say like, every day just really staying focused on what can I do today and the next day.

And it’s not just the doing but it’s the believing and that’s where when I mentioned the energy behind what I’m putting out in the world, that is what shifted when I joined ABA. It’s a lot with your coaching, I love one of your phrases. How is this not a problem?

Lindsey: It’s a common one.

Heather: And it’s just reframing what’s happening in my life or in my business. How is it not a problem? And just I have that phrase in my mind. But for me to – even if I’m interacting with patients at work, or definitely with my coaching clients or friends or consults, I try to do the – I definitely do the self-coaching and the processing through emotions to put it to the side.

Process through, but then when I’m interacting with someone or when I’m posting something out into the world, that I have my higher purpose in mind. And it’s of serving, not of getting. So I was shifting that energy from I have to get paid clients, I have to get this, I have to get that, and instead, it’s more of like, well, how can I serve the people who are watching and reading my posts?

That one person who is just feeling terrible and wanting to change something in their life, even if it’s one person that listens to my podcast or listens to my – reads my post. That one person, that’s all I need. If I can make a difference in their life. And rather than I’m going to get clients, it’s like, I need to share this.

And it’s amazing how people are like, I didn’t realize this is – I could do this. And it’s all over, it’s so exciting when I start talking to people about coaching. Because it’s still such a new field really.

Lindsey: That is such a huge – people get so caught up in the full-time business that they start to focus on themselves and their own goal. Totally a normal part of the process and thinking about all the clients. But you fill a coaching practice one client at a time.

If you focus on all of the people that – this is just something that we work so much on in the program. If you’re focusing on all the people who aren’t your ideal clients, who don’t need your help, who aren’t listening, who might not want to coach with you, you’re going to feel crappy every day. You’re going to feel like you’re not helping anybody. And the reason you get into this business is to serve people.

And so we work really hard in ABA, and Heather, the way she talks about it, I’m like, yes. We work really hard to focus on that one person because showing up and serving them is going to be what creates a full-time business of 10, 20, however many people that is for each coach of one person who they helped every single day and that’s how you get there instead of focusing on who you’re not helping.

Heather: Yes. And it’s huge because I used to look at oh, someone’s not – people aren’t liking my posts, or they’re not interacting. And I would spend time worrying about that instead of okay, well, they’re probably reading and I’m just going to keep on going. And maybe adjusting though. Maybe it was my wording, adjust a little bit, but I don’t have the drama. And I work hard in not having the drama.

Lindsey: So good. So what would you tell somebody who’s on the fence about starting a coaching business in general?

Heather: Well, if they’re thinking of joining or starting a coaching business, it means that whoever you believe in, if it’s God, universe, higher source, it’s been put in their heart that they want more for their life. And they see coaching as the pathway in order to help themselves live out their purpose and help other people as well live out better lives.

And there’s always going to be fear that pops up but that’s human nature. And I always look at if there’s resistance and fear and resistance to me means I have to go forward with that, it means there’s something for me to learn, that I should go through that door if I feel resistance.

So I would encourage people to take the step because it’s on your heart. You know you want to do it. And don’t wait for permission, for someone else to give you permission. Don’t wait for your spouse, your partner, your kids to give you the time, to give you the okay to do it. Because with everything, I think as females, we wait for people to give us permission. And we don’t have to wait for permission because you’re doing something for the higher good of the world. And go for it.

Lindsey: That made me tear up. That’s so good. So Heather, where can people find you, follow you, and connect with you? You mentioned a podcast, I know you have social media, so tell them all the things and we will also link it in the show notes.

Heather: All the things, okay. So The Healthy Brain Podcast, and I strive to get weekly episodes out. And then on Instagram and Facebook, Instagram I’m more visible there, @heatherkolwich and on Facebook it’s Heather Kolwich Wellness. And my email of course, heatherkolwichwellness@gmail.com. You can shoot me an email if you need some advice or just want to interact.

Lindsey: So good. Thank you so much Heather. It has been so fun to hear even more about your story than what I already knew and while you’re in the group. And thank you for sharing your wisdom. I know so many people are going to take so much from it.

Heather: Thank you for this opportunity and it’s been a pleasure and a blessing to know you. And as my business mentor, I really appreciate you and wish you the best as well.

Lindsey: Thanks Heather. Alright, if you guys were inspired and you are ready to take that step and start your coaching business, make sure to go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

And just a note, you’re going to be in a group with women like Heather and learning from them and learning from their questions and learning from the coaching that they’re receiving. So all the interviews that you’ve heard, you are going to be in a community with these amazing people. So make sure you get yourself in there. There’s so much value in that alone. Alright, I love you guys, I will talk to you next week. Bye.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything but Average, where I will walk you through the step-by-step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

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