Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast, where I, life coach and mindset expert Lindsey Mango will teach you how to master your mindset and get into massive action to create a life that blows your mind. Let’s get started.
Hello, how are you guys? Welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. I swear, I don’t think that’s ever going to get old. I have gotten such amazing feedback, and I just have to tell you guys, it’s so fun when you evolve, and your business evolves, and it speaks even more to your mission, and your purpose, and it speaks even more to your people.
So, I just feel so excited and so grateful, and I have to tell you guys, I am super excited to be talking to you right now. Even though I’m in my closet, that’s where I get the best sound quality, I’m imagining each and every one of you listening to this, whether it’s in your house, in your house, or probably in your house.
If you are listening to this at a future date, this is when the quarantine is happening, and so I’m just messing around because I know all of us have been cooped up in our houses, and I have been, I think, quarantined for a couple of weeks now.
I have to say that I am an introverted extrovert, so I don’t feel like that much is different either because I work for myself, obviously, and I’ve kind of enjoyed just the excuse of not having to go out, but I definitely miss interacting with humans in person, and going out to dinner, and doing all the fun things. I think it’s just offered a lot of perspective to think about how grateful we can be for the things we’re able to do on a daily basis that we took for granted.
Anyway, I’m just excited for the fake human interaction that this gets to give me. Even though I’m staring at a jumpsuit right now talking to you, I still feel like this is a little smidge of human interaction, and I’m just excited that you guys are taking the time while you’re at home to listen to this.
So, today, we are diving into a tool that is literally the foundation of everything that I teach on. It is something that if you religiously apply it and show up for it, it will literally blow your mind and change your life. Literally. I think I’ve said that like 20 times, but I am not kidding, you guys. When I learned this tool, when I teach this tool to my clients, it is so life changing.
I just want you guys to prepare yourself, before we jump in, that this is life changing and that’s why I’m teaching it so early on with this new evolution of this podcast. Because even if you’ve heard it before, even if you learned it before on the previous podcast, or if you’ve never heard of it, it doesn’t matter. There’s always new ways to apply it, and it creates results.
That’s why you guys are all here, right? To live and create an anything but average life in all aspects and create results. The beauty of it is it also gives you the power in yourself and in your mind to create results instead of feeling like a victim to your circumstances, instead of feeling like it’s the quarantine’s fault or anything like that.
Now, it’s important for me to say before we jump in. You guys are getting excited, right? I’m building it up. Before we jump in, this doesn’t invalidate circumstances that are happening. You’ll understand what I mean as I dig into it. Yes, the quarantine, for some of you guys, has been really impactful, and that doesn’t take away from that, or circumstances in your life have been really challenging and hard.
It doesn’t mean that those haven’t contributed to challenges, or those aren’t causing problems, or anything like that. But what I’m going to teach you today is still going to give you power in any of these scenarios and any scenario in your life. Are you guys ready?
Today, what am I going to teach you is what is called The Model. The Model is not something I created. Although I wish I could take credit, I will not. Brooke Castillo is the creator of The Model. What’s so beautiful about it, if you like math, you’re going to love it. It’s like an equation. If you don’t like math, don’t freak out. It still is simple and something that you’re going to be able to apply very easily. So, either way, you guys are going to love it.
Brooke Castillo built this method, simplified everything down to this equation, to this tool, and it’s something that most coaches, most leaders, on some level, in some way, understand you have to, to be able to do this work. People just teach it in different ways and have different perspectives on it. This is just Brooke’s take, and this is her model.
For me, it has been just the most groundbreaking thing with this work. Again, for you to understand all the future podcast episodes that are going to come, and for them to change your life, you do have to understand this model on some level. So, let’s jump in.
The model basically explains the whole process of how we create results in our life and how our thinking and our mindset is generating those results. Here’s how it works. I’m just going to illustrate it because having an image of it is really helpful.
If you aren’t driving, you can close your eyes, and I want you to imagine that there’s an arrow at the top of a paper, and it goes all the way down to the bottom. Now, at the top of this arrow is a circumstance. I’m just trying to illustrate it for those of you who like visuals.
So, at the top of this arrow is the word circumstance, and then about an inch down is thought, and then an inch down from there is feeling, and then an inch down from there is action or inaction, and then an inch down from there is result.
Let’s just pretend you made your line the perfect length. Some of you guys might be imagining a huge tail at the bottom. It doesn’t matter. This is essentially the process, and it follows that arrow downward. I’m going to explain each piece in what they mean, but first, just to give you the gist so it makes sense. Basically, what happens with this process is there is a circumstance, and the circumstance generates the thoughts we have in our mind. I’ll give you an example.
Let’s just say you get an A on a paper. Then you have a thought about that A, and you’re like, “Wow, that was amazing,” or, “I did such a great job,” or, “My studying paid off,” or whatever it is. So, circumstance, got an A. Thought, the sentences that are happening in your mind. Again, I’m going to go into more detail on what each of these pieces actually means.
So, circumstance, thought, and then the thoughts we have in our mind drive forward, our thoughts create the feelings that we experience as humans. Then the feelings we have drive forward the actions we take or the actions we don’t take, and the actions we take then create the results. Sometimes the results end up being the circumstance like the A on the paper. That’s the process.
Now, let’s like define each of these pieces, and then I’ll explain why this is so important and how to actually use this model for you to create results, to create change, to create growth. So, circumstance, I’m not looking this up, but this is my definition.
A circumstance is something that is a fact. It’s provable by the court of law. What I mean by that is the temperature outside is 81 degrees, or it’s raining outside, or my husband is 5’10”, or I weigh 130 pounds. These are just examples. I don’t really know what I weigh actually. They are facts. They are provable in the court of law.
Thoughts are sentences that we have in our mind. Some of you guys, just that piece of the puzzle is going to be a really important part, learning how to be aware of what’s happening in your mind because The Model is showing us that the thoughts are driving forward everything else, and if you don’t know what’s happening in your mind, then you can’t really make real change and create real results, which is why you guys are all here. So, thoughts, sentences in our minds.
Then we have feelings. It’s the chemical reaction, the experience, we have in our body. Then the action or the inaction we take is the physical thing we do or don’t do. I imagine it’s happening outside of us out in the world, like you circle B on your test, or you copy someone else’s test. That’s an action or an inaction. You go to the gym, you don’t go to the gym, you eat the brownies. That’s an action or inaction. Then the result is the byproduct, what you create from that whole process.
Now, whether you guys believe it or not, The Model is happening all the time in your life with everything. Every result you have in your life right now has been created by this process. Now, the reason why it’s so important is because what a lot of us like to do is we like to try to fix our actions or change our circumstances to feel the way that we want to feel.
Have you guys ever had that experience? You change jobs, you change boyfriends, you make more money, you make less money. You get an initial hit of feeling differently, but over time, you end up feeling the same way. Or maybe you were super in love with your husband when you first married him, and now it’s withered away. Your husband maybe hasn’t changed much, but your thinking has.
That’s where we’re seeing this actually play out, is that people try to change their actions and change their circumstances, and this might be why you get frustrated when you try to create results because you’re not actually changing the thing that is at the heart of it.
I think about it as trying to just change your actions without changing the thinking, or trying to just change your circumstances without changing the thinking is like putting a Band-Aid over it, which is why a lot of you may feel like you just keep creating similar results over and over again. It’s like no matter what you do, you keep ending up in the same spot. It’s because this is what is at play.
Let me explain how The Model actually works and how to use it for you to create results. The first thing you want to do is identify your current model about a result that you have in your life. How you figure that out is you’re like, “Okay. So, I’ve created this result.” Let’s just use an example of, “I weigh 10 pounds more than what I weighed when I married my husband.”
Then you want to look at, okay, you work this equation backwards. What actions have created this results? Again, if you want to imagine it on a piece of paper, it’s circumstance, then thought, then feeling, then action, then result. We’re just going backwards right now to identify your current model.
So, it’s gained 10 pounds, weigh 10 pounds heavier than when I married my husband. Action, okay, well, I’ve been overeating some. I’ve started skipping some days at the gym. I fell in love with peanut butter, and I ate way too much of it. I realized I just started working at a job where I sit at my desk all the time. What actions have created this result?
Then you want to identify what feelings created that result. What feelings are driving forward that action. That’s where I said this earlier, but awareness is a key part of understanding The Model. Then when you identify the feelings, you’re going to say, “Okay, well, the reason why I’m eating the brownies is when I’m eating the brownies, I feel satiated, or I feel empty, or I feel bored. Or when I don’t go to the gym, I feel good, I feel lazy, I feel relaxed.” What are the feelings that are generating those actions?
Then you want to identify the thoughts that are creating those feelings. Again, let’s say the feeling is bored. What we want to do is identify what is that thought? This is a key part of what I do with my clients in Anything But Average all the time, is helping them dig in and really figure out what are those thoughts? What is driving forward this whole equation that’s creating the results that you have in your life?
Maybe the thought is, “I don’t have anything to do. I don’t feel productive right now. I’m bored.” Maybe that is the thought you’re having. What thoughts are generating the feelings that you have that have created this result? Let’s pick another feeling. Maybe the feeling is empty. Maybe the thought is, “I’m worthless,” or, “I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything.”
For a lot of you guys, just learning this tool and just learning how to identify your current models is going to be the first part of you utilizing this work. So, really think about that for a second for a result you have in your life. What is your model for that result?
Now, the reason why this is so valuable is when you start to identify the thoughts that you’re having that are generating this whole equation, what you do is you’re going to be able to see like, “Well, of course that’s why I have these results. I have the thoughts constantly, ‘I’m bored, I’m worthless, I have nothing to do. I feel empty. I feel unproductive,’ and that’s driving forward these feelings. Then of course I want to eat the brownies and skip the gym when this is happening.”
What this does is it gives you power and ownership. You guys know I’m huge on that, and you’ll hear much more about that. It’s giving you the power to see you are creating this result. Now, yes, a circumstance might be that Betty at your office brings brownies every week. That’s the circumstance.
Then you have thoughts about the brownies, or you have thoughts that generate the action of eating the brownies, that are generating the feelings, and then the action of eating the brownies. Just to give you an illustration of what the circumstance might be in this scenario, but there are thoughts happening.
Betty bringing the brownies does not necessarily mean you eat the brownies. You’re having thoughts and feelings, and then you’re eating the brownies. Again, what I would recommend doing as you’re hearing this is to actually draw this out in your journal and identify one current result you have, and your whole model for that result. I just want you to witness what thoughts are creating this result.
Now, as you learn this more and more, I don’t even write it all out necessarily all the time. I do often, but I will identify like, “Well, what are the thoughts I have right now? What thoughts do I have about getting in the closet and doing this podcast? What thoughts do I have about my husband? What thoughts do I have about my body?”
When I have awareness around a result or a feeling that I have that I’ve realized needs to be adjusted, or shifted, or I don’t want, I will go through this process. What The Model does is help you really see what thinking is generating the results that you’re creating in your life.
So, then how you can use it is every day. Let’s just say your husband isn’t cleaning the dishes, and you feel upset. The self-inquiry, the questions you want to ask yourself, you can even sit down and write this, is like, “Well, what thoughts am I having right now? I have this feeling of anger, and rage, and frustration. Well, the thoughts I’m having are that I don’t think my husband cares.”
Of course you bad if you have the thought, “My husband doesn’t care.” The real work with all of this is you get to generate and create the response that you have and the way that you feel. It’s possible for you to work on changing those thoughts and asking yourself, “Well, what else could be true for my thinking?”
Meaning, again, husband left dishes in the sink, you’re having the thought, “He doesn’t care,” and it’s like, “Well, what else could be true? He cares. He’s just busy right now.” See how that shifts how you feel in your body. That’s the whole point of this because think about the action you’re going to take differently when you have that thought, “My husband cares. He’s just busy right now,” versus when you have the thought, “My husband doesn’t care.”
You feel completely differently, and what you just did by shifting that thought is you created a completely different experience for yourself with your husband. Over time, this continues to build upon itself and create results. Now, instead of yelling at him, you gave him a little grace. Maybe you left the dishes, and you went and asked him like, “Hey, whenever you get a second, can you wash the dishes?” Completely different situation. Now, you’ve just changed the dynamic in your relationship.
Same thing with getting an F on a paper, an A, I was talking about that earlier. You get an F. If you have the thought like, “I’m a failure. I’m never going to get into college.” How is that going to continue to drive forward your models, and then create the results you have?
If you constantly have the thought, “I’m never going to get into college,” you’re probably going to stop studying. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to stop caring, and that’s going to create the result of not getting into college. What I want to point out is that your models are always happening, and they’re always creating the results you guys have in your life.
So, if you want to create different results, you have to start changing your thinking. You have to start shifting your perspective to drive forward different feelings and drive forward different actions. Now, as you get more acquainted with The Model, you’re going to be able to use it in different ways, and we’ll cover this at later podcasts. I don’t want to throw too much at you guys right now.
What it gives you the ability to do is say, “Okay, if I want to fall in love with my husband more, like feel giddy again. The feeling I want to have is giddy. What thought could I have right now that would help me feel giddy? Like, ‘Oh, like he loves me so much,’ or, ‘Oh, I love the way he looked at me just now,’ or, ‘I’m so excited to spend time with him.’”
Now, the biggest thing with The Model when you’re shifting your thoughts is seeing that you have to believe the thoughts in order for it to work. If you think, “Oh, my gosh. My husband is the best,” and you’re like, “Well, that thought would make me feel giddy,” but let’s just say your brain is genuinely like, “I definitely don’t believe that right now. He’s pissed me off. He’s done all this stuff.”
What you have to do is you have to find a thought that you can believe, that you can get onboard with. How you know that you believe it is you actually feel a shift in the way that you feel. Maybe you’re not like, “Oh, my gosh. My husband is the best,” but maybe you’re like, “Well, what could I believe?” Well, you could believe that he’s the best sometimes. Could you believe that? If you did, do you see how that shifts how you feel?
What I want you guys to take from today is just a basic understanding of The Model. Start working on identifying what are your current models? What are your current thoughts that are creating the results you have in your life? Open your mind to the possibility or the idea that you can start shifting this thinking.
Again, this is what I am constantly doing for my clients. Now, we do work on changing the feelings and changing the actions, but we start first at the thought so that we can naturally drive forward everything else easier. That’s the thing, is when you’re working against your mind will powering. Will powering yourself to lose the weight probably lasts for like two weeks and doesn’t create the long-term result that you want. We want to create long-term results. So, shifting the mind is going to make every action you take more effective, and it’s going to help you create bigger results.
So, homework, giving you guys homework, is to identify what’s one result you have in your life, and what is your model for that result? Then starting to ask yourself like, “Well, what other thoughts could I have and believe that would help me generate different feelings?”
You can even do, I haven’t talked about this yet, but a future model of, “Well, what actions would I take?” If I had the thought, “I want to take care of my body,” and I really do, that would create the feeling of love, and then maybe I would want to eat the broccoli instead of force feed myself the broccoli.
Guys, this is how I accidentally lost 10 pounds because I used to willpower, and force, and grind it out because I hated my body until I started to make this shift in my thinking, and I changed the actions I took because I actually just started treating my body differently, and that created different results.
So, homework is what’s your current model, and starting to entertain this idea of what different thoughts could I have? How would that change the model that I currently have? What results would that create? Guys, use this. Use this for all the circumstances you have in your life. When your kid comes and wakes you up, when you’re stuck in the house from quarantine, when all of the things. Really digging in and asking yourself, “What thoughts am I having. What’s my model?” I highly recommend writing it down.
If you found this valuable, this is just the tip of the iceberg of what I teach in my program, Anything But Average. When you understand this model on a deep level, and then you apply it in my four-step process, you create massive results in every area of your life.
That’s why this podcast and this program isn’t just about one thing in your life. It’s about creating the life you really want and creating more by using my step-by-step process, and The Model is a foundation of that. It can create any result that you desire, and we focus on the life of your dreams. That’s what you’re here for. So, we coach on how to actually change those thoughts, how to shift them, what’s blocking you, what’s getting in the way, so that you can drive forward different actions and create massive results.
Guys, I’m still doing daily coaching every weekday for the month of April. When you enroll in Anything But Average, you get access to 35 plus videos of modules that are even 10 times more depth than what you get on this podcast. Teaching you how to create results in your life, teaching you how to create more.
You get weekly coaching. After the month of April, you get weekly coaching for life. In the program, you get community support all to help you create more money, find your purpose and start your dream business or start your dream career, love and romance, better health and lifestyle because when you have that, you are going to live the life of your dreams. When you have these four steps and this process, it doesn’t matter what you want to create, you will create it.
Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. I cannot wait to see you on the inside and coach you every day for the month of April. I’ll talk to you guys soon. Bye.
If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with me in my signature program, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. In this program, I will teach you how to take this work and create results so you can have a life that blows your mind in the areas of money, purpose, health, lifestyle, and romance. I can’t wait to see you on the inside.