Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast, where I, life coach and mindset expert Lindsey Mango will teach you how to master your mind, yourself, and take massive action to create a life that blows your mind. Let’s get started.
Lindsey: Hey, guys. So, welcome back to another episode of Anything but Average. I’m still getting used to saying that. I’m so excited. You guys know I don’t bring guests on very often to my podcast. And when I do, it is because I have someone you need to hear from.
And the woman I’m bringing on today is not only just such a special human in what she brings world, but she is a friend. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. She also was a client, so she is going to bring such an awesome perspective to you guys from that angle. And she’s just built something so amazing.
So, Jillie Johnston is a worthiness coach that helps people see and cultivate their sense of self-worth so they can create a life that sets their soul on fire. Jillie has helped people all over the world not just attract and create their life, but then helps them quit sabotaging and KEEP it. Jillie is a speaker, coach, traveler, van-lifer, outdoors enthusiast who is traveling the country and spreading her message of self-worth in her van with her boyfriend and cat. Her journey is uplifting and inspiring, and is an example of what’s possible. So, welcome, Jillie. I’m so excited to have you.
Jillie: Oh my gosh, Lindsey, I am so excited to be here. You brought tears to my eyes and my heart is overwhelming with gratitude and joy. And thank you for the introduction, it meant the world to me.
Lindsey: Like, reading this, I was like, damn, I am just so excited to talk about all of the things. And I think it’s so cool because, like I said, Jillie and I have known each other for so long and it’s just been so fun to watch our paths kind of cross and then diverge and cross and diverge and cross and diverge and really come together.
So, I guess that kind of first leads me to, why don’t you tell the audience a little bit more about you and your story and how you got to where you are today?
Jillie: Yeah, for sure. And I think it’s just like everyone else’s. every single part of my journey and my life has led me to this point. And so, Lindsey and I have come from very similar upbringings. We’ve known each other since we were five, which now that I think about it, I am closer to you than anyone else that I know from that point of my life. You’re just like so cool.
So, similarly to you, I grew up as an athlete and I’m a high-achiever and a straight-A student, honors, Division One athlete. I really attributed so much of my worth to my playing time, to my grades, to other people’s approval, success. Acceptance of myself was based on everyone else.
And so, I think, as a high-achiever, I graduated from college thinking, like, “Hey, I went to college. I did what I was told. I graduated with honors. I did everything, I stayed out of trouble. I was a leader. I was captain. I was everything. Okay, I’m ready to change the world, get my dream job, find my dream man, travel, and do everything. Watch out world, here I am, what do you have for me?”
And then, I don’t want to say I fell on my face, but I waited there. And I waited because that’s what I believed that’s all I had to do. And so, right after I graduated, my parents went through just a really bad divorce and it really made me question, what is love, does love exist? Is there anything such as unconditional love?
And in the meantime, everything in my life felt like it was falling apart. And it was. And a lot of the parts of myself were dying off that needed to die off for me to step into the woman that I was meant to be. But I was still in my early 20s. I was still learning who I was and who I was meant to be.
And so, there was one night where I was lying in bed and I just wanted someone to write me a love letter. And I didn’t care who. I just wanted someone to write me and tell me that they loved me, why they loved me, and their love wasn’t going anywhere.
And then, all of a sudden, I was crying and I was like, “Come on, universe.” And then it hit me like a brick wall and it was like this message that came down from the universe and it was like, “Hey, write yourself a love letter.” That’s the love that truly means something. That’s the love that is never going to go anywhere and that’s what you’re needing.
And so, from that point forward, it was this journey of learning how to love myself and acknowledge my worth. Then, from there, I moved down to South America, started a non-profit, ran it, raised a bunch of money and did all of these things. But apparently, I didn’t believe that I personally was worth investing in, I personally could have success. It was a martyrdom. Like, I needed to be a martyr.
I came back from that experience, moved out to Denver and, again, had a lot of money beliefs, had a lot of worthiness beliefs, and this started playing a part in my relationships. And what I believed I was worthy of with men, with my career, with my business, and with money. And so, I was sabotaging plenty of relationships. I was sabotaging all these opportunities with money. I had people who wanted to pay me and I just wouldn’t accept it because I didn’t believe I was worthy of it.
And after years and years and years of this, I was 29 and, you know, I had been following your journey and I had tried to start my own life coaching and speaking business a couple of times, and each time, I fell into fear, I fell into doubt. I just didn’t have the tools that I needed to know that I could successfully carry myself through the hard times. I just didn’t have the tools in my toolbelt, like we talked about before we got on here.
And so, I was with my new relationship, really in love, but sensed myself starting to sabotage that one. I was almost 30 and you had just launched your Mango Magic Business Academy. And I was, like, messaging, like, “I think I want to do it but I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared.”
Meanwhile. I had already talked to you a couple of times about doing coaching and then ghosted you… I’ll never forget and I’ll never not admit to that. But I wasn’t at the place for it. And so, we were driving through mountains and I asked Robbie, who I’m living in the van with now, I was lie, “Robbie, pull the car over.” And he pulled it over and we were in the middle of the mountains. We were about to lose service.
And I was like, “I have to do something. I have to finally say yes to myself. I’m done living my life the way I’ve lived it so far. Fear yields fear. I have to do this. I have to go all in.” And he was like, “Cool, then, like, hit the pay button. Do you want me to do it for you? Let’s do it.”
And I hit the submit button. I invested in myself, it was the scariest thing. Within three months of that, of hitting that, I put my notice in t my job. A month later, I quit. Within a month, I replaced my corporate salary. And the, a year after that, I hit my first over 10K month and it’s just been this rollercoaster of beauty and of love.
And in that whole process of finally saying yes to myself, I was able to see and acknowledge and heal my own worthiness issues which allows me to stand before you today and say, like, “You are worthy of the life that you want.”
Lindsey: I just have chills and, I just feel like this is so powerful because of the work that you bring to the world and because of what so many people experience. So many people who follow me, so many people who follow you experience that inner battle.
And I’ve really been thinking about this a lot because I just had a coaching conversation with my coach yesterday and we were talking about how if your dream wasn’t optional, how would you show up differently? What intensity would you show up differently?
Because, at the end of the day, if our dreams really weren’t optional, we’d all create the results we wanted. But the only reason we don’t get them is because we think that there’s an option. And so, as I hear you saying this, I’m like, what happened in that moment was you finally decided, like, you burned the boats and you were, like, “My dream’s not optional. I’m willing to put money on the line.” And that’s when you made that shift.
But I say all that to say that you have to believe you’re worthy of the dream to be that committed to going after it. so, my question is – I mean, this is what you teach what was the biggest shift you had to make to really own your worthiness and see your worthiness and finally get to that point where you’re like, “I’m totally worthy and my dream isn’t optional anymore?”
Jillie: Yeah, and I think that’s a great question. And I think it’s, of course, like a constant journey. When I got to that point, it was really a hard look in the mirror of in my relationship of seeing patterns that I had been playing out and I had started to play out. And I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, “You have become aware of it enough to know that you’re about to repeat this pattern.” Is that the life that you want? Is that the woman that you want to be?
And when I looked at myself, I said, “That isn’t the woman that I want to be. I want to be someone different now. And while I don’t see her yet, I believe that she is in there and I know that I can become her because I recognize her,” and really seeing the quality of people that I brought into my life. These powerhouse badass women who mirrored back to me and who I was and what I was made of and what I could be and what I stand for and what I already had inside of myself allowed to me to recognize that I am deserving and worthy of more, so let’s take a chance. Let’s take a chance to show that you are.
And it was that chance that I was willing to see and say, like, “I know who I want to be and I’m willing to step into her because I love myself enough to know that I’m worthy of this relationship and I’m worthy of being treated this way and I’m worthy of feeling this love.”
Lindsey: That’s all so, so powerful because I think, first of all, I want to point out how you said, it’s just an evolution. And it really is. One of the biggest things I continue to realize is I continue to grow. There is no – there’s more shit to dig up and work through and I think that knowing that also allows you to show up for the lessons in a different way.
Then, I also think it’s so beautiful how you talked about having that little ounce of belief and hope that you were worthy of what you wanted was all you really needed. I think so many people get caught up feeling like, “I don’t feel worthy of it yet,” or, “I don’t believe I can have it yet,” or all of these things yet, so I can’t start taking the action.
But in reality, all you need is a little glimmer of hope and then capitalizing on that and backing it with action to create, to get that momentum building. I love that so much. So, let’s dig into worthiness. I feel like obviously you had quite a journey with that. And that is what you are an expert on.
So, I want to hear more about why worthiness is so important to you and to all of the women listening who want to create Anything but Average lives. And I have another question, but I’ll let you start with that first.
Jillie: So, if you look up the definition of worthiness, it’s the quality of being good enough. And if you just think about that for a second, every single one of us – and if you don’t have this, reach out to me and I will just give you the biggest virtual hug and kiss because you are a unicorn…
Lindsey: She will…
Jillie: And we all have the I’m not good enough story. And if you have that story and you have that belief, it’s going to block you. If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of the love that you’re receiving, you’re going to sabotage it and push it away.
If you don’t believe that you are worthy of someone paying you for your services, paying you for your expertise, paying you for the amazing incredible value that you’re giving to this world and to that person’s life, then you’re going to push it away. You will reject it.
You’re going to manifest the exact thing that you don’t believe that you’re worthy of. And you can create it all you want. You can attract it all you want. But we all self-sabotage one way or the other. So, worthiness is the foundation to everything. The life that you have right now is a reflection of what you believe that you’re worthy of.
Lindsey: Mic drop, so good. Yes.
Jillie: Yeah, like, what does worthiness not have to do with? I haven’t found an answer to that question yet.
Lindsey: So good. You’re totally right. And I think you talking about that pattern repeating itself is something that happens to so many of my listeners and was, like, a huge sign to me too that I kept changing all of my circumstances and the same stuff kept happening and I just think new levels of growth, whatever you’re going after, are just new levels of worthiness.
Because once you believe you’re worthy of it, then it can flow to you easily and you’re not going to sabotage it. So no, you answered the question perfectly. My next question would be, like, simply put, we know worthiness is a journey, but how does someone actually, whatever, like a good enough coach or I don’t have enough followers, whatever it is, how do they actually start to build that?
Jillie: Yeah, so a couple of things, and a couple of things are the things that I learned from you. So, that’s like identifying your thoughts, proving yourself wrong. If it’s like, “Okay, I don’t feel successful enough.” Okay, show yourself how you are. Like, how are you successful? What are you choosing to see? What are you choosing to focus on?
And then find the evidence for that and reprogram your brain, recreate those neural pathways. And so, where are you good enough? And find evidence for that. Like, if that’s something that you struggle with, like success – you fill in the blank – I’m not blank enough, right?
The other thing is changing your definition. So many times, we use words and we’re not actually clear on what they even mean to us. How can we say, “I love you,” when we don’t really know what love means? How can we ask for respect from someone if we don’t really know what respect looks like or means to us in our life?
We need to get clear on what that means and looks like for us and why we need it, why is it important? And so, for this idea of worthiness too is, “I am worthy because,” and changing your definition. You’re worthy because you exist. You’re worthy because you are alive. And if you go from not feeling worthy in life at all, it’s hard to transition to, “I’m worthy because I exist.” That’s like a complete opposite spectrum, right? And you talk about this too.
So, you talk about bridge thoughts. I created a whole new definition that allowed me to, like, kind of move the fuel gage from empty to full. And mine was like, “I’m worthy because I try and I try and I try regardless. I’m worthy because I do things that scare the shit out of me, but I do it anyways. I’m worthy because I love hard, regardless of how people receive that. I’m worthy because I show up in the hardest times, right?
And I did, “I’m worthy because…” and I created all of these things that aren’t outside of myself because I’m in control of whether or not I show up. I’m in control of the days that I don’t want to get out of bed and loving myself anyway. I’m in control of that. And so, it’s not anything external, but it helps you change your own definition and until you can move the fuel gage to, “I’m worthy because I exist.”
Lindsey: So good. I love that so much. And as you were talking, that’s making me think about how so often we learn, as children – not to get too far back – but we learn as children how we receive love. So, for me, for example, I still have to actively work on my achievements not mirroring my worthiness or not equaling my worthiness.
Because as a kid, my parents were amazing, but my child brain learned that when I scored a soccer goal, I come home an di get attention from my parents. And as a child, we associate that with love and being good enough. And so, it’s really unwinding all of these things.
Because here’s the reality at the end of the day. We already have that inherent worthiness that Jillie is talking about and that she helps so many people create. When you fail in business or you fail at anything, in a relationship, it doesn’t impact you the same way. I mean, an episode is about to come out, you guys have already heard it on here, where I talk about the equation to success is just an equation.
But when you have all of this attachment to the equation, and a lot of us do when it comes to our worthiness, now when you put the wrong number in the equation, you make it mean you’re not worthy as a human. And so, I just think it’s really powerful to see how you can really remove yourself and see, like, “Oh, I failed, this is just an opportunity to learn,” instead of being like, “I’m dumb, I’m not smart, I’m not good enough because this thing happened.”
I always had trouble, when I first started learning this work, like, I’d be like, “Okay, so we’re all worthy as human beings. But what about that terrible neighbor who did something terrible to his wife?” How do you make sense of that when it comes to worthiness and applying it to yourself and applying it to other people?
Jillie: I think that’ a really good question. I think that kind of turns back onto what you believe and your spiritual and faith, or whatever, like we’re worthy because we exist. It’s not dependent on our actions. Now, each action has a consequence, but it doesn’t affect whether you’re worthy of love or not. It will have a consequence. So, whether or not you want to be mean to somebody, that will have a consequence, but that doesn’t affect your worthiness.
And I think for me, a couple of things is, one, really understanding that we are exactly who we are meant to be for our soul’s evolution. You’re exactly where you need to be. You are receiving exactly what you need right now in your soul’s journey and in your soul’s evolution. Everyone has choice.
And so, while some people make choices that will positively or negatively affect something, or we think it will positively or negatively affect something, it doesn’t change whether or not you’re worthy. It just changes what the consequence is of how someone will react or how you will react. Does that make sense?
Lindsey: 100%, I think that’s a perfect way to describe it.
Jillie: And so, that’s really trusting and really trusting – this was a huge, huge thing for me. And even right now, we are recording – I don’t know when this is coming out. So, we’re recording this during quarantine, during COVID-19. I’m trusting that everything is working out exactly as it should. For my own soul’s evolution, for my highest good, and everyone else’s highest good.
Does that mean that there’s not terrible consequences happening? No, of course there’s terrible consequences happening. And it is still for the evolution of that person and for humanity as a whole.
Lindsey: I love that. How did you build trust like that, in that belief? For me, I wasn’t very spiritual or religious before I started this work, and over time, I started to really trust that. And I think it’s fascinating evolution. So, what helped you trust in that?
Jillie: It was looking back at my life. Everyone listening, if this is something that – let’s say you’re having a hard time and you’re having a hard time trusting, which everyone does. That is normal…
Lindsey: Welcome to being human.
Jillie: Yeah, that’s part of being human. Look back on your life and everything that you’ve overcome. Look at everything that you’ve been through and you’re still standing. Well it, may not be exactly as you had hoped or you envisioned it to be. You have a 100% success rate of surviving it.
You get to choose if you want to thrive in it, but you have a 100% success rate of surviving it. And so, seeing that journey of mine, of like, holy cow, look at everything I’ve been through and look how I’ve always been okay. And look at the times I didn’t think I was going to have enough money. Look at the times where I didn’t think I was going to make it through.
But then something happened, and everything – like right now, for example, I live in a van. I’m in Marshall, Texas. A year ago, Robbie and I were building out this van and we had no idea that this was coming. But it cut our expenses down to like a fifth of what we were paying. Then we get quarantined, but we were already in Texas with his family because his mom’s going through chemo.
And then my family was dealing with some stuff and then the government orders actually saved and protected my family. And all of a sudden, I’m looking and I get to choose what I see. I get to choose what I focus on. I get to choose the meaning that I put to it and it serves me.
And you always ask, does it serve you? This serves me. This belief serves me. It allows me to take the necessary risks in order to have success in my business, to have success in my growth, in order to have deep and meaningful relationships. And so, look at your life. Find the evidence. Does it serve you? And if it’s yes, keep building it.
Lindsey: Yeah, I love that. I think about it like I’m trying on a pair of pants. I remember when I first started thinking like, “Do I believe that everything’s happening for a reason and I’m supported?” Again, for a long time, I didn’t. But it was almost like, “I’m going to try this pair of pants on and see how it feels.” And it really did, it served me. I was like, “This feels way better than just believing we’re all screwed and this isn’t working out for us.” So, I love that, it’s such a great way to put it.
So, tell me more about what did you tie your worthiness to? Obviously, our stories are very similar. We came from a very similar background. What are the biggest breakthroughs that you had to make when it came to your worthiness?
Jillie: Yeah, so like, grades and playing time were huge. If I had a good game and I, like, rocked it out of the park and people gave me praise, like, “Great game, Jillie,” I had a great day, I had a great night. I felt great about myself.
If I had an off day and I got pulled out of the game or I made a mistake and I heard my coach yelling my name or throwing the clipboard or whatever else, I immediately got down on myself. It ruined the rest of the game and it ruined the rest of the days until I had a good practice.
And the same thing, I always got good grades and I worked really hard to get them, but I remember, I tried so hard on this paper and I was so proud of this paper and I get a D-plus, which I’ve never gotten in my life, and I was like, I freaked out. I balled my eyes out. I immediately want to the teacher crying. I was in there every single day until she helped me fix it to get a B-plus, which I was fine with.
And so, it was that stuff, and what did people think about me? What did they say about me? Did they like me? That is what I put my worth in. What do guys think about me? Were they looking at me or were they looking at my beautiful sister?
Lindsey: I’ve been there, yeah.
Jillie: Yeah, and so that is where I found it. And it took so much work and still does of, like, when I graduated and was no longer an athlete, I then replaced my income and my impact. And that’s something that I still have to check myself. Like, hey, what meaning are you putting to this? No, I’m worthy regardless and when I believe that I’m worthy, when I truly believe in my core that I’m worthy, that’s when the income and the impact also flood in because it’s an unattachment to it.
Lindsey: That’s so good. And that perfectly led into my next question, which was what has realizing your worthiness – of course, it’s a constant journey, but what has realizing your worthiness helped you create? When you got that, over time and evolution, what results did that create in your life?
Jillie: Yeah, of course, it’s created more money than I have ever made in my life, which is like a tangible thing. And really, I have this goal, I have this goal, and then I hit this goal and I’m like, “Cool,” you know? Fireworks didn’t go off. It’s just like, “Alright, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.”
You know, I have a dream relationship. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a human being, he is more than I have ever imagined and I’m so honored to be with him, so honored to the highest that I possibly could. And I have a van and I’ve literally created the ultimate freedom that everyone thinks about. I travel, I work remotely. I can go whenever. I don’t have to ask a boss for time off. Obviously not right now because of quarantine, but I can go wherever, I can travel, and I can do my thing.
All of this stuff is amazing and it’s great, but the thing that I am most proud of is right now, during a global pandemic when my family and Robbie’s family are going through separately very hard times outside of the pandemic, that I am in my calm. I have so much peace and so much trust.
And to me, that is higher than anything else is, like, while everything feels like a hurricane is going on, I am at center. And to me, that is the ultimate thing that we all crave and we all want is that peace within ourselves of knowing who we are, knowing what we stand for, and knowing that we can trust ourselves no matter what.
Lindsey: So good. I love it. And I feel like that’s what’s really created all those results, you know what I mean? It’ so easy to get caught up in the tangibles of what we wat to create. But it’s like, the minute that Jillie turned inward, that’s when everything in her life started to really fall into place.
And honestly, I’m tying it back to that’s what Anything but Average is really all about. It’s like, when you master yourself, your mind, and your actions, you have the power to create every result that you wanted. But if you don’t have those three things, you’re going to be chasing whatever success or achievements to prove your worthiness or prove you’re enough. You’re going to be chasing the wrong guys.
Like, whatever it is, it’s really about naturally planting those seeds internally. And worthiness is at the core of that. And then they just grow on their own. So, as I’m talking, I’m like, that’s what Anything but Average is really all about, is changing the one thing that’s generating every single result and then, like, watching it all happen before your eyes. So, it’s just so cool to see your life and what it is today, because of the worthiness you found within yourself.
Jillie: Yeah, and I think it’s so cool too – it is, like, a direct result of that day that I asked Robbie to pull over and say yes. And you know this and I texted you this. the first really meaningful night that we watched the sunset on the roof of the van in Parker, Arizona and the desert and it was beautiful.
And we pulled out whisky and we both cheered to Lindsey because you did help me create an Anything but Average life through giving me all these tools and for coaching me. And, of course, I had to show up. Of course, I had to create the results. But you led me and because I was willing to show up for myself, so anyone listening, you need to show up for yourself. And the Lindsey is there to help you create the Anything but Average life. She has every tool in the toolbox. You’ve just got to open the toolbox and use it.
Lindsey: So good. This is perfectly like every time I’m adding another question, what would you say to somebody who has felt the way you did? Like meant for so much more, see themselves sabotaging and creating the same patterns, who’s on that edge, who hasn’t taken that leap. What would you say to them?
Jillie: Exactly the email that you sent a few weeks ago. That your results and your dreams are going to wait as long as you do. So, hey, if your dream and result can wait… but it’s going to wait. You cannot expect anything to change. You can’t expect you to feel differently about yourself, differently about your relationship, differently about money, differently about your family, differently in any way if you’re not doing something different.
So, every day it’s another point of, like, “You’re right, I can’t wait on this.” And I don’t wait on it. and I don’t wait on it a single day anymore. Then that’s the how long does it take until you don’t wait anymore, it’s that exact moment where everything starts flooding in. And it doesn’t mean it’s perfect and it doesn’t mean it’s easy. But it does 100% mean that it’s worth it.
Lindsey: It’s going to be uncomfortable either way. Like, it’s going to be uncomfortable staying where you are the way that you’re creating results, or it’s going to be uncomfortable taking the leap to spend the time and do the deep work and make the investment and take the leap.
But one of them is leading you to where you want to go and one of them keeps you where you are. And I just feel like you’re such a beautiful example of that. It’s just like, I love you so much and I’m so truly honored and grateful that – it kind of blows my mind still, I’m going to tear up, that I even got to help you and serve you because I just have always been inspired by you and I just appreciate it so much and the magic you create in the world is just so cool. So, while I’m tearing up, why don’t you share with my audience where they can find you and how you help people, like what programs you have.
Jillie: Thank you, Lindsey, I receive everything you said and thank you. So, where you can find me on Instagram, @JillieJohnstonCoaching, check out my website, jilliejohnston.com. Currently my Worthiness Warrior Club, which is basically like a low-cost affordable really accessible and life-changing program that I’m so pumped about and I’ve put so much into is open and there’s some really special stuff going on right now.
So, I’m so excited. So, please reach out and find me on Facebook Jillie Johnston. I also have a free Facebook group called Cultivating Conscious Creators and I’m just so excited to hear from you and hear what you think and the stuff that you’re dealing with and your journey. So, thank you so much for listening and letting me be a part of your day. So, thank you.
Lindsey: So good. We will make sure all those links are in the show notes and when we share the episode and all of that, all of you guys can connect with Jillie on Instagram or anywhere else she can direct you to. And thank you so much for being here, Jillie, and just, like, being courageous to show up for your own work and grow and share your gifts with the world and be here today. I’m truly honored and grateful, so thank you.
Jillie: Oh my gosh, I’m so honored and grateful. Thank you, Lindsey, especially knowing you also don’t have interviews very often, thank you, thank you, thank you. And so, literally anything for you, so thank you so much.
Lindsey: Thank you, and thank you everybody for tuning in and we will talk to you next week on Anything but Average. Bye.
If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with me in my signature program, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. In this program, I will teach you how to take this work and create results so you can have a life that blows your mind in the areas of money, purpose, health, lifestyle, and romance. I can’t wait to see you on the inside.