Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. Guys, how are you? I cannot believe it is almost the end of September. Like my mind is blown. And I have to say this is my favorite time of the year. The weather is so perfect.
Sometimes in Louisville, Kentucky where I live, we jump from like 100 degree weather to winter. And so far, as I’m recording this podcast, we’ve had a nice progression. And I’m just hoping that that continues because I love the crisp weather. I love all of the fall things. Yes, I know, basic white chick. But it’s one of my favorite times of year and yeah, I just am so happy. I feel like when I walk outside, I’m full of possibility because the weather is so beautiful.
All right, so today what I want to talk about is when circumstances matter. So if you’ve listened to my podcast, if you’re into personal growth, if you’re a coach, any of that, one of the biggest things, I think, like the overarching theme, I mean, it’s said so many different ways. But the overarching theme is that no matter the circumstance we get to decide what happens. We get to decide what we create with our lives, our perspective about the circumstance.
For example, if it’s raining outside, we get to decide how we feel about that. Some people will be like, “Oh, look, another day, a terrible day, nothing ever works out for me.” Or some people might be like, “Oh my gosh, a cozy opportunity. I’m going to get tea, I’m going to make this an amazing experience. I love the rain.” And their experience, based on their perspective, they’re going to have a different experience based on their perspective, even if the circumstance is the same.
Now, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this because I think it’s so important to share because I think sometimes, we can use this against ourselves. Like this idea that no matter the circumstance, we can choose what we create, we can choose our thoughts, we can choose how we feel, we can choose where we go next. And that is like super empowering.
But then on the flip side, I see so many of us hold that against ourselves. Like, well, if we all have equal, not equal chances, that’s kind of what I’m going to be getting at in this podcast. But if anyone can choose what to do with their circumstance, I’m bad, I’m wrong, because I haven’t gotten as fast of results or success as these other people.
Or there’s something flawed with me because this person started, and of course I always bring this back to starting coaching businesses. That’s what creating an anything but average life is all about. But we use it against ourselves because we think like, “Oh, well, if I can choose any result, if I can create any result, then I am behind. Other people are better than me.”
And what I want to talk about on this episode, and it’s going to be kind of like a riff, is the idea that circumstances do matter. And thinking about that has actually profoundly changed my life because it’s also helped me with comparison. And I’ll make that connection a little bit later.
But it’s helped me have more compassion for myself, have more compassion for other people, understand this work on a much deeper level. Because here’s the reality, circumstances do matter. It matters.
I think about this all the time, the fact that I was raised in a household where I was taught responsibility, commitment, work ethic, from the time I literally came out of the womb, matters. That has helped me. That has helped me create my success. That has helped me move forward very quickly in my life. That helped me become a D1 athlete on a full ride scholarship. That was beneficial. That put me ahead.
And I coach so many moms who start their coaching businesses and they have kids, and they’re working full time. and single moms. Does their circumstance of having kids and a full time job and supporting them, does that make it harder? Yes. That circumstance freaking matters.
Is the fact that you were raised in a household where money was very scarce and you were literally just trying to survive with your family, does that circumstance matter? Yes. Does that make it harder for you to grow and change your money beliefs to become a person who makes a lot of money? Yes.
Does it matter that someone has been seen as a leader their entire life and then they decide to start a coaching business, does that play a factor in their success? Versus somebody who maybe has been very shy and reserved, and never talked to anybody, they start a business. Does that play a role? Yes.
Now, some of you might be listening to this and you might be confused because this can kind of feel opposite to my message, which is all about responsibility and commitment and choosing whatever result you want and being responsible for the results you create in your life. But here’s what I want to offer, is that circumstances matter, they play a role. And no matter what they are, you still get to decide what happens next. You still have a choice.
Does that mean your journey might be harder? Yes. Is that fair? No. And as a human being with a brain that is capable of growth and change and just possibility, does that mean you can still create whatever you want with your life? Yes.
And I think it’s really profound to see it this way because I think it gives you more power. I think it gives you more compassion. I think it gives you more trust in your unique journey.
When I started to really think about this, it wasn’t in a blame way. Because, again, I’ve had lots of favorable circumstances in my life. It was more in just a witnessing, it was more in a curiosity of okay, coaching isn’t something that everyone knows about. So is there a level of me having to show people what coaching is and all of these different things? Yeah. Could that be harder to sell than someone who’s selling bottled water or water to people who need it? Yeah, maybe.
Now, again, you always have to look at does this story serve me? Does it not serve me? And for me, when I think about the fact that circumstances matter from a really empowering place, for my clients, for myself, for everyone, for the world when it comes to social issues, it gives me compassion. It gives me understanding, it makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel driven to go out and help more people who maybe don’t have the favorable circumstances that I’ve had.
And it helps me trust my journey. It helps me see that my journey to creating the life and the outcomes I want is completely unique to me, like a fingerprint. Just like it is completely unique to you. And that means there’s no room for comparison.
That means there is no room for you to look at somebody else who started their coaching business at the same time you did and think that you’re less than them. You don’t know their circumstances, they don’t know your circumstances. Your circumstances might be harder to overcome. And again, what I want to go back to is that doesn’t have to be a problem. You still get to choose again.
You still get to decide what you do with those circumstances and how you choose to move forward with them. Even if that means taking longer. Even if that means– I just shared this last episode that we’re pregnant and I felt terrible. I felt exhausted the whole first trimester. But I felt really nauseous for like two to three weeks and I literally just sat on the couch trying to survive.
I was just like shoving a bagel down my mouth I feel like half the time. And is that a circumstance that’s really freaking hard and different than what my circumstance used to be? Which is that I felt glorious most of the time. Or does the fact that your body hurts and you have pain mean that it might be harder for you to learn how to run a business? Yes. And you still get to decide. You still get to decide how you move forward.
Now, on the flip side even if you’ve had favorable circumstances, you don’t have to take away from your pride that you still chose to create the life and the results you’ve created. It doesn’t take away from that because you still had to be the person you are to create whatever outcome you’ve created.
So I know sometimes people use that against themselves. It’s like they want it to be like, “This has been really hard,” so that they can feel proud. What if you just got to feel proud? Yes, it’s always hard. Growth and choosing the uncomfortable thing, no matter where you come from, is freaking hard.
And other people’s hard is going to be harder than yours. And your hard might be harder than other people’s. And that doesn’t mean you have to be any less proud of what you’ve created because of that.
So I just want you guys to think about that for a second. And I want you to use this, again, all of this work is about using it in a way that serves you to create the results that you want. But when I think that circumstances matter, and when I share that with my students and my clients and say, “You might not have the same thinking and belief systems that I was raised on or that somebody else was raised on. And you are capable to learn them and grow and change.”
Your business might take a little longer. Your business might grow even faster because of where you came from, or your background, or your belief systems that you’ve already had. And all of us still have the power to create any reality that we want. And I think that is the most beautiful thing about all of this.
You guys might notice that I might sound like I’m burping a little bit and I think I might be on my podcast, which is totally fine. This is a new thing with being pregnant, it’s like constant air in my esophagus. So embarrassing. No, I’m kidding.
So at the end of the day, what if circumstances matter? They do. And what if that’s just not a problem? I love you guys. I’m excited to hear your feedback on this episode.
Anything but Average is open for enrollment. We only have October, November, December, three months left in this year. Did you set a goal to start a coaching business this year? Are you making your job responsible for how busy it’s been this year, crazy it’s been this year? Instead of being like “Yeah, my circumstances matter. It’s been really tough and I still get to choose.”
We only have three months left. You could finish out this year having your coaching business started, signing your first three clients, and be off and on your way to creating a business that can replace your income and give you the freedom you want. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. I love you guys and I will talk to you next week. Bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.
