Welcome to the Anything but Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Anything but Average. How are you guys? I hope you are having a beautiful week. I am so excited, again, podcast episodes are always delayed with my life, but we just found out this past weekend that we are having a little girl. And I just feel so excited.
One thing that I knew is that I wanted to have a daughter to teach her to be powerful and take up space in this world and do amazing things. And I knew if I have, if I have still, yeah, Chris and I want more than one kid. But if I had a boy that I would be able to teach him to create space for women like that, just like Chris does for me and that felt just as impactful and powerful. But I have to say I feel very excited that we are having a little girl.
So, that is just kind of what is going on in our world right now. And I’m finally seeing a little bit of a bump, which is exciting for me. And, yeah, we’re just getting prepared, doing all the things, working on names, baby room, all of that. So, it’s just been such a fun journey so far.
So this actually leads into what I want to talk about today, and I shared this in a post on social media and, I mean, I think at this point we probably have over 100 saves on this post. And I had so many messages about how it landed so deeply for people. And it actually relates to being pregnant, it’s like a thought that was kind of inspired thinking about our little girl.
And I’m just going to kind of riff on it today because I think it’s such a profound idea for getting started in your coaching business and building you coaching business. And, of course, it’s always relevant in any area of your life. So as a coach you’re going to see this pop up with your clients, in your own life when it comes to your health, relationships, all of it. You’re going to see this pop up.
You guys know I’m always talking about it from the lens of starting a coaching business because that’s how we create our Anything But Average life, but we are always students of our own growth first. That’s how we become great coaches, that’s how we lead by example, that’s how we attract clients, through showing them our own transformation. So it really applies all across the board.
And I was on a walk the other day and I just felt this overwhelming sense of love and gratitude in my life. And when I was thinking about them, I was thinking about how the love I already feel for our daughter and the love I already feel like I receive from her feels unconditional. And the love I feel for Chris and the love I feel from Chris is unconditional. It feels like gravity, it exists, it is there no matter what.
And I started to think about how that wouldn’t be possible and how that was built of the foundation of something I’ve spent years cultivating, which is an unconditional love for myself and who I am. And being proud and feeling love for myself no matter what.
That’s what unconditional love is. Not based on how successful you are, whether you succeed or fail, or what you do in your life, or how pretty you are, or how great your body is. It’s loving yourself no matter what, regardless of all of those things, regardless of the outcome.
And I was thinking about how having that for myself and then getting to experience that with our baby and my husband, I just felt like I was bulletproof. I felt like no matter what happens I always have that.
Now, some of you guys might be listening to this and maybe you’re not expecting, or maybe you don’t want to have kids, or maybe you don’t have a relationship like that. And I want to say that it all starts with the love you have for yourself, that’s really where it all begins. I wouldn’t feel that love from Chris, I wouldn’t believe that love from Chris if I didn’t have it for myself first.
So if it’s just you just know you can still apply this work just as deeply, just as profoundly. But I was thinking about how I will always have that love for myself and I will always have that love within my family. And because of that I feel so empowered to take any risk and do any uncomfortable thing in my business and fail, and look dumb and whatever, because no matter what that love is still is there.
And, again, the word that keeps coming to mind is the feeling of bulletproof. It’s like, yeah, I have everything I need right here. I have the unconditional love and believing I’m valuable no matter what. So anything I do on top of that has nothing to do with that value, has nothing to do with this love I have, which is the most important thing.
And again, that makes you feel willing to do anything. And whether you fail, whether it works the first time or not, it’s like you’re going to keep going because you always have that foundation.
Now, this is one of the biggest things I see people struggle with when they want to go after their dream and start their coaching business, and take the risks, and do the uncomfortable thing. And at every level there are risks and discomfort.
And I see this show up at every level, trust me, I coach six figure earners in my mastermind and people who are on their way there. And I’ve seen million dollar earners who have this same issue showing up where they attach their own personal value, their own worthiness, their own love for themselves to their results.
And trust me, this is something I spent my entire life doing. I used to believe, subconsciously, that the love I could have for myself and how proud I could feel of myself was contingent upon whether I achieved really amazing things and whether I was successful. Which made every single failure or every single risk I took feel so heavy and so big, because if you fail, it truly feels like life or death because it is about your love for yourself and your value as a human.
And again, I’ve spent five years working on this and I’ve gotten to this place now where it doesn’t feel like that anymore. But again, I see people, if you don’t work on this you will carry this with you the rest of your life. And this is what makes taking risks, failing, doing uncomfortable things in business feel so heavy.
It’s why you feel urgent, it’s why you feel anxious, it’s why you feel so scared to do the damn thing. It’s because there’s some part of you that is attached to the outcome that if you fail, or that it doesn’t work the first time, and you will because this is business, this is creating a life that you love. This is constantly doing the next scary thing and it won’t always work out the first time.
Your job is to get back up and do it again. That gets really hard to keep doing when every time you do it, you make it mean that you are less worthy. That you are less impressive. That you are less lovable and amazing of a person.
And the more you let every failure impact that, the more scared you are to keep taking risks. And the more scared you become to take risks and fail, the less you grow, the less your results become and you get stuck in this cycle.
This is for me the core, I believe, of my anxiety and my constant urgency and my brain always being like, “We’ve got to keep going, we’ve got to keep pushing.” It was like I was in this imaginary race with people all of the time. This is where comparison comes from, it’s you attaching your value to your outcomes.
This is what’s kept you from starting your coaching business, you’re afraid of what it’s going to mean about you if someone says something about your business. You’re afraid of what it’s going to mean about you if you put a post out there and it looks kind of silly. You’re afraid of what it’s going to mean about you to your spouse or your friends or yourself if you try something and you fail the first time or you don’t sign a client in the first 30 days.
Now, most of us think, “Well, okay, the way I get around this is I just get the results.” But that only feeds the beast, like that only feeds the same story. Because trust me, I’ve did amazing things and I’ve done amazing things and still felt that inner frantic energy of I have to keep going. Because, of course, if your lovability and your worthiness is always connected to that level of success you have, there’s always more success to be had. It’s like trying to fill an empty hole, like a black hole that will never be filled. It’s constant.
And so one of the things I teach my clients in Anything But Average to get your business started and sign your first three clients and in my mastermind is how to detach their personal value as a human and their lovability and their worthiness from their business, from their outcomes. It takes work, it takes coaching.
This can be so deeply subconsciously rooted, and everybody has their own unique story. Again, mine was related to success and achievement. Maybe yours was related to being smart, or the nice girl, or pretty, or well-liked by everybody.
We can all have different attachments, but it’s still holding us back because any thing we want to do in business, any uncomfortable step we want to take is going to bring that up. Because, again, it’s life or death to your ego, it’s life or death to yourself that if you don’t get the outcome and mean something about you as a human.
And so, again, we go to work to detach that because then what happens is what I’m talking about here, which is that you become bulletproof. Really think about that, if you knew you were worthy, you were amazing, you could feel love for yourself and proud of yourself no matter what, how– I don’t even know if I’m going to say this right, but how much more willing are you going to be to take the risk? To start? To put yourself out there? To do the uncomfortable thing?
You’re going to be willing to do all of that. And when you’re willing to do all of that, you will create insane results. Life, pardon my language if you have kids in the car, life gets way more fucking fun. I can tell you that since making this change for myself, and it’s really been a recent shift over the last year, life is just so much sweeter.
It’s like every day I wake up full of possibility, not feeling like I’m running some imaginary race with other people and comparing myself and feeling like there’s always more I should be doing. It’s like instead of doing that I’m in my life experiencing what I’ve created. I’m going out to help people for them solely, not because my ego is involved and I need to do something to prove to myself that I’m worthy.
And you hear me kind of getting emotional about it because this is one of the biggest changes that has impacted my entire life because I’m able to be so much more present. I know I’m going to be able to be so much more present with our daughter because I’m not thinking about what I need to be accomplishing in my business.
It’s made me so much more powerful in my business and willing to fail and grow. It allows you to exponentially get through that cycle of try something, fail, adjust, grow, do it again because it means nothing about you.
So if you want to become bulletproof, get in Anything But Average. If you have all of this attachment to what it’s going to mean about you when you get started in your coaching business, get into Anything But Average, we work on it there. If you are working on building your business to full time, to six figures and beyond make sure to get in the mastermind.
And the mastermind is not open until February, so no matter where you are get your ass in Anything But Average. There is nothing more valuable than being in that community, being in that space, getting this level of coaching consistently to make these breakthroughs that are going to make you bulletproof in your life, in your business, which is ultimately going to be what creates the successful coaching business you want. Which is at the center of creating the life you want. And then everything gets so much sweeter.
I love you guys go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. I will see you on the inside and I will talk to you next week. Bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step-by-step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.
