Hey guys, before we jump into today’s episode, I want to make sure you know the next enrolment dates for Anything but Average, my program that teaches you how to become a great coach, start your coaching business, and sign clients.
Anything but Average will open for enrolment January 5th and close January 11th. Make sure to mark your calendar. If you are ready to join this round, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. Click the button that says join the waitlist. It’s right at the top.
And you will be put on an exclusive email list where you will get sneak peeks in the program, sneak peeks of our live coaching sessions, as well as bonus content until the program reopens. I love you guys and I can’t wait to see you on the inside. Let’s jump in.
Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I am Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams, by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. Guys, how are you? I was just laughing to myself because I feel like, I’m pretty sure – It’s a fact. I start every episode with the same sentences and same inflection. I was cracking up, because it made me think about, I played college volleyball. And, when you go back to serve… I feel like every player has this. They do the same exact thing every time. Or, if you have ever played any sport, or instrument, or anything where you are performing, I feel like we all have our little things that we do, over and over again. This is that for me, apparently.
Anyway, today I am super excited for this episode because I know I’m going to be referring so many students, so many clients to it over and over again. Which means, it is highly valuable for all of you guys listening. If you are not in my program or in my mastermind, what are you doing? Make sure you get on the waitlist for the next round.
So, let’s jump in. Today what I wanted to talk about was doing it right. How many of you guys love to do it right? You want the rule book. You want to follow the rules and you want to do it the right way. Do life the right way. You want to follow the instructions.
I would say most of us are trained to do this, even if you are a little rebel. I get it. I am a little rebel too. But we are trained from the time we are in kindergarten that there’s a right way to do things. The right way is that you go to kindergarten, then first, second grade, and all of that. We have been told rules like, “If you want to get a good job, you need to go to college, and have a degree.”
Then we go to the job and we have to follow all of those rules. Now, it makes sense. This works for workplaces, life, works for keeping an orderly society. But what doesn’t work is taking this in to starting your coaching business or running your coaching business. It does not work. Trying to do it right.
Because if I were to do life right by the book, I would have never started a business in the first place. Nobody in my family has a business so, this isn’t like a normal thing. I would’ve just continued to just have a job with my degree. Live life the way that people tell me to do it and what is the right way. Even as a business owner, I would have worked six days a week and grinded it out. Because people say to be successful you have to do that, right?
I have like, three appointments a week. That is three hours a week of work where I actually have to be somewhere. I probably work three days a week, but that is not right. That is not what people say you are supposed to do to run a successful company, and yet I do. So, I just wanted to offer that all of us just like a lie kind of just this perspective that we have that we have been told just to keep us in the lines and following the rules. Then, if you want to create a mind-blowing life, if you want to start a coaching business, and create success while doing it. Then, it isn’t about doing it right. I don’t really love going along with the crowd. It is really funny. I find I’ll start something on Instagram, like, I have an idea.
I remember a long time ago I did story takeovers. I was doing them and then all of a sudden, whether they copied me or not. I actually don’t care, but I started to see tons of people doing it, and it is like I wanted to bob the other direction. I don’t like to do what everybody is doing. I want to do my own things. And so, I just want to offer before we dive in to this that going the opposite direction can actually be one of your greatest assets.
Now, that doesn’t mean not showing up to work, to grow, to question the things that I offer as a coach. But it doesn’t mean I am asking you to do it right. It means I am getting curious and asking to just question. One thing that is right for one client might not be right for another one. So, it is not about there’s one cut and dry right way to do this. Now, I have realized that the reason our brains want to do things right is actually the reason why we are not creating the massive results that we could.
I boiled it down to four reasons why. First, we think that if we do the things and follow what they say to do, we will get the outcome we want. But think about where that got you. If you did life right and you checked all the boxes and didn’t create the happiness, fulfillment, and the blow your mind life that you wanted. It is like you followed the wrong book, right? You tried to do it right, but you didn’t get the result you wanted. So, the first is the reason you are trying to do it right is you want to get the result.
Second, is that you want to be good, a good girl or a good boy. You want to be accepted. The third is that it feels safe. Our brains like to think that if I do it the right way, then there’s no failure. I don’t have to deal with that. So, I am just going to have to follow this, and these rules.
The last thing is, we don’t have to take responsibility. If we have a process to follow, if we have someone telling us what to do and we don’t get the outcome, or don’t create the results that we want, we are not responsible, the process is and the person who created the process.
Now, here is what ends up happening. When you are trying to do something right, the result that you actually create is wrong. I don’t want to say there is right and there is wrong. But you don’t actually end up creating the result that you want, and here is why. If you are trying to do things right, because you want to get a result. What you are actually saying is that you don’t believe you are going to get the result. So, because you don’t believe you are going to get the result, you have to do it right in order to get the result.
If you have been listening to this podcast, coaching with me, working with me on any level, you know it all starts with the belief that you are going to get the result. Not that if you do it right, then you will get the result. If you don’t have that, it doesn’t matter what you do, you are not going to create the result that you want.
This is something we work on fostering in every single one—in my program, Anything but Average, and in my mastermind. This is something I work on constantly at every single level. That is building the belief that I am going to get the result no matter what.
So, if you are trying to do it right, that automatically tells you, you don’t believe you are going to get the outcome. And if you don’t believe you will get the outcome, then you don’t. The second is wanting to be good or accepted. Which means that you want to be comfortable. When you stay comfortable, you don’t grow, you don’t create the coaching business, the clients, the life that you really want.
The third is if you want to stay safe and don’t want to fail, what you are avoiding is creating the biggest failure of all. The way you grow, the way you evolve is through failing. That is how you learn and grow. I think so often people think, “Well, I hired a coach so I get the result.” Absolutely. Part of our job is to point out when you are doing something we know isn’t going to get the result that you want. But that doesn’t mean that you are going to avoid all failure.
Part of your work is to fail and learn how to fail and use the coaching to continue to grow through it so you can get back up and apply it. Everyone’s journey looks a bit different. There is no cut and dry. This is exactly what you would do. If that was the case, we would all have the same exact process, right?
I am not saying that there isn’t a process. What I am saying is that failure is a part of that process. If you want a high level of success, you will have a high level of failure. End of story. So, if you want to stay safe and avoid failure, you must also avoid success. Your brain thinks, if I do it right, then I will avoid that. But what ends up happening is you just avoid the results that you want.
The last reason is because our brains don’t want to take responsibility. It would rather blame a process, a program, a coach, something outside of us, life, circumstances, for why we aren’t getting the results we want. So, our brains often think if I follow the process, I will get the result. Which goes back to number one. And if I don’t then, it’s not my fault, it’s the process’s fault. It’s this other thing’s fault.
Here is the reality; if you are giving the responsibility away to the process, to self-coaching, to doing it right, whatever doing the process, self-coaching anything right, guess who doesn’t have responsibility? You. If you don’t have responsibility, you don’t have the power or control to create your outcomes. Then, the result you create is not the outcome you want.
So, what do you actually need, instead of the belief that you have to get it right and perfect? So, you have to believe you are going to get results no matter what. That is how you get results no matter what. You have to believe that growth is the goal. Being uncomfortable is the goal.
That is how you get the results that you want. Not doing it right. You have to believe that failure equals success and you have to believe that having total responsibility over your outcomes is how you get results. That is what you actually need. Not to do a process right. Not to follow the book, not to follow the plan.
If you want to create a mind-blowing life, if you want to create a life that doesn’t look like anyone else’s, don’t follow their rules. Now, you can follow mine, if you want your life to look like mine, right? Listen to the people who have the outcomes you want, but again, your journey to creating this result will look a little different. This is why it’s called coaching and not telling.
Because I am giving you the guidelines and process. But I am not saying this is the only way to do it. I am saying the way you answer these questions is how you are going to build your coaching business. It is not about doing it the right way, but the way that creates the outcome you want. And that way is believing you are going to get the results is through growing, being uncomfortable, through failing, and through total responsibility.
So, stop trying to do it right and start focusing on those things. This is something I teach inside my program; Anything but Average. This is something I am constantly working on with my students. If you guys are listening to this post in the group, let me know what you think about it. And this is really what causes so many people to not make progress. Because they are so focused on trying to get it right, that they don’t actually go out and implement and try different things.
Then again, it is like trying to solve a math equation and never trying to get the outcome. You are just trying to get it right, and you never get there. There is no right way. The right way is not the direct path to your outcome. Trusting yourself, believing in the outcome is how you get there. I love you guys and I will talk to you next week. Bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything but Average, where I will walk you through the step-by-step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.
