Hey guys, before we jump into today’s episode, I want to make sure you know the next enrollment dates for Anything But Average, my program that teaches you how to become a great coach, start you coaching business, and sign clients.
Anything But Average will open for enrollment January 5th and close January 11th. Make sure to mark your calendar. If you are ready to join this round go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. Click the button that says join the wait list, it’s right at the top, and you will be put on an exclusive email list where you will get sneak peeks in the program, sneak peeks of our live coaching sessions, as well as bonus content until the program re-opens.
I love you guys and I can’t wait to see you on the inside. Let’s jump in.
Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. Hello, how are you guys? All right, we’re going to jump right in. No little intro chatter about my life, or what’s going on, or just some random thoughts. We’re just going to go straight for the jugular here.
All right, so today what I wanted to talk about is creating security. And the reason why is because what I’ve realized is so many people are afraid to take the leap to go after what they really want because they crave security on some level. And you can replace that word with the word certainty if that suits you, or if that feels like it fits a little bit better.
Now, every single human has a different level or desire for certainty or security. So for example, when you look at my husband, Chris and I, I don’t crave the level of security and certainty that he does. He doesn’t like risk as much as I do. I think it’s fun, I think it’s exciting. But on some level, we all crave a certain level of security and certainty, right? Like I want to know that we have way more than enough money to pay our bills and all of that.
And so everybody’s risk tolerance is different. Everybody’s desire for security and certainty is different. And with that said, it doesn’t matter where you fall on that spectrum, security is something we all have control over creating.
In fact, I think the reason why I don’t need as much security is because of what I’m going to talk about today. It’s because I don’t need security in external things, I have security and certainty within myself which creates the security and certainty that I need to go out and take big risks, do scary things, take the actions and steps I need to take and continue forward into the unknown, which, really, everything is unknown, even if you’re telling yourself that it isn’t, and continue to move forward.
And what I see is that so many people believe that their job is secure, or that their paycheck is secure and certain and that’s why they can’t go after their dream. And whatever it is, they just crave that security and certainty and that’s why they’re not willing to start their coaching business or go after what they really, deeply want.
So what I want to talk about today and kind of riff on is that security doesn’t come from a job, a paycheck, or even having an exact action plan. That puts your security or certainty on something outside of you, which actually isn’t that certain. And this isn’t a podcast meant to scare the crap out of you. It’s a podcast meant to help you see that you are the one who has complete power and control over your sense of security and over your certainty.
I even see this with my clients at the mastermind level who are making $100,000, who still feel that deep sense of constant survival and scarcity and nervousness because of this idea of security and certainty. So this isn’t just at the beginning, it happens throughout. But again, I want you guys to take away from this that security is created by you. It is not created by anything outside of you.
So what I wanted to look at is the difference between a secure mindset or a certain mindset and thinking that helps you feel secure, versus an insecure mindset or insecure thoughts that create a lack of security and a lack of certainty.
Just to give you guys one quick example before we jump into the list that I created, if you have a thought like I can count on my paycheck, I know I get paid every two weeks. I just want to like challenge this a little bit because your boss could walk in tomorrow and fire you. Technically, that’s not actually true. But you have a certain perspective, or thoughts, or beliefs and evidence for those, which your brain has been collecting like little pebbles along the lake to support that so you can feel more secure.
But it actually isn’t true. It’s just something you’ve chosen to believe. Now you can keep leaning on that. Again, you don’t have to scare the crap out of yourself. But what I’m saying is you that have equal amount of access to believe that about starting your coaching business.
Now on the flip side, if you’re having the thought, I don’t know where clients will come from. I have no idea how to make money. There’s no certainty in this. You’re going to feel very insecure about starting your coaching business. So those are insecure thoughts, that’s an insecure mindset versus the secure thoughts.
Now you could completely flip the script and the thoughts I have about owning a coaching business and starting my own business is that it’s more secure, that I get to be in charge. There’s no boss, or company corporation, or corporate ladder that’s going to tell me how much money I’m going to make and the results that I can create, that’s going to limit me circumstantially. I get to be in charge of it.
And when I’m in charge of it, then I can create as much security and certainty as I want. I get to create the outcome. I get to show up. You have a thought, I show up at my job and make a paycheck. You could also have the same belief about starting your coaching business. Now, if you don’t, that’s why you need to get into Anything But Average, to learn how to create that level of certainty.
But do you see how I just flipped the script and how now one seems more certain than the other. Now, again, your job, if you really deeply want to create the life you really want and you want to start a coaching business in order to do that. To create the freedom to create the purpose and impact you really want, then you have to sell yourself on how it’s more secure and get yourself to that place so you can start making those steps and taking those actions. That’s why this is important.
If you keep believing the same story, the same insecure thoughts, you’re never going to get yourself to a place where you’re willing to take that risk. It’s going to feel too risky, it’s going to feel too scary.
Now, here are some other examples of what secure thoughts look like versus insecure thoughts. So the first thought I wrote down is, I’m in charge of this, I create the outcome. An insecure thought is they’re in charge of this, they create the outcome. You can even feel a little insecure at your job if you think your boss or the corporation is in charge of your paycheck or they create it.
Another secure thought is here are all the possibilities that are available to me right now. Or like I love the thought there’s always a way. I want to wholeheartedly believe that. It can make me a little stubborn sometimes. And I’m sure I will get a little bit of payback when my daughter comes around, but I really believe that wholeheartedly. There is always a freaking way. That makes me feel so certain and so secure.
The opposite of here are all the possibilities or there’s tons of possibilities, the opposite thought would be, here all the places this could go wrong and focusing on that. Or there’s never a way, it never works out for me. It makes you feel very insecure.
Another secure thought is I create money. An insecure thought is my boss or job creates money, or I have no control over the money I create. I’ve kind of already used some of these in the example, but a secure thought is like I show up and I get paid. An insecure thought is who knows what could happen, I could show up and not get paid. Things are all uncertain.
Again, none of these are facts, they’re just the perspective you’re choosing to have. And based on that perspective, that’s going to influence the outcome you create. When I believe I’m in charge of creating my results, when I believe I show up and I get paid, or I show up and I sign clients, when I believe that there’s always a way, guess what happens? That all becomes true.
When I believe it’s out of my control, I can’t do anything about it, someone else is in charge of it, guess what happens? It’s all out of my control, someone else is in charge of it. The results I create or that I don’t do the things that are necessary in order to produce those outcomes. And then I feel very insecure and I create insecure results. And maybe that is what keeps you stuck and safe at your job.
Now again, I’m never of the school of thought that you need to just jump ship at your job right now if you decide you’re going to start a coaching business. I have so many students, in fact, most of them have their full time job while they build their coaching business. There’s no reason to set that amount of pressure on yourself if you’re not that secure yet.
Again, I believe building security, building certainty is a muscle you build over time. You don’t necessarily want to just jump ship when that muscle has not lifted anything at all. And that’s what we build in the program.
So again, I want to reiterate that security is a feeling that you create. That your job is not actually more secure than the business you want to create, that it’s your mind. That you get to be in charge of that and that’s something, again, we work on creating in Anything But Average.
Now, there are four simple questions I wanted to finish this episode with to help you evaluate and challenge this for yourself if you’re really finding yourself having trouble getting to a place of security. The first question is where do I feel secure right now? You can journal on these.
The second one is why? What is the perspective, or the thinking, or the beliefs that I have about this thing that made me feel secure? The third question is, how could I apply that to this thing I want to do? How could I apply that here for the thing you’re feeling insecure about? How could I apply that here for starting my coaching business? How could that be true here?
And the last question is, what would make me feel more secure? What thinking, what beliefs would help me make feel more secure? What circumstances can I create around myself to make myself feel more secure?
This is how you bridge the gap. And remember, you create security and nothing else. The more security you create within yourself, more security you create in your life. Security does not come from a job or a paycheck, it comes from you. And that is how you get really freaking powerful. That is how you start your coaching business and create amazing results. And that’s how you become the creator of your entire life. That sense of security, that sense of certainty.
I love you guys and I will talk to you next week. Bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.
