Before we jump into today’s episode Anything But Average is open for enrollment and closes on April 15th at 11:59PM. Anything But Average is my program that teaches you, first, how to become a great coach by being an example of your work and changing your own life with coaching. When you are an example you attract clients and start your business easily because you know the power of what you’re offering other people.
It also helps you master your skills as a coach because you know exactly how to create results in your own life and you translate that to the work you do with your clients. It also teaches you how to launch your coaching business and sign clients in a step-by-step process.
Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage to join us. Let’s jump into today’s episode.
Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.
Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. Over the next six podcast episodes you are going to be hearing from six different mastermind students who are going to teach you their favorite concept that they have learned in our work together. These mastermind students have created $40,000 businesses, $100,000 businesses doing work that they love while creating the life that they really want.
I specifically chose these six mastermind students because they started in Anything But Average or my old variation of the program, which was called Mango Magic, where they got started in their coaching business, signed their first few clients, and have risen up from that level to the mastermind level where they are really creating the full-time coaching business, 100K business that they set out to create from the beginning.
I wanted their unique perspective because they started at the ground up in our work together and I wanted them to teach you a concept that helped them at that point in their business. So without further ado I’d like to introduce my mastermind students to you, and their individual podcast episode on one of their favorite concepts that we’ve worked on together.
Hi everyone, my name is Victoria Miretti and I’m so excited to be a guest on Lindsey’s podcast today. I am a member of the ABA mastermind and I just signed up for my third round starting in April, so that is so fun. And just so you know a little bit about me I’m a dating and relationship coach.
I help women find love and thrive in relationships through one-on-one coaching. I live In New York with my boyfriend, and after getting coaching myself some years ago to finally find the guy of my dreams, I’m now paying it forward to help others do the same. And for them to realize it doesn’t have to be so hard, it can be really simple to find the love life that you really want and experience it. So I did want to share that with you because I do give an example of dating later on in the show, and so that is why.
Okay, so what I am excited about to share with you today is a pivotal moment in my own growth. And a pivotal tool, so to speak, that made all the difference between me finally hitting my initial goal in the mastermind of one client per month, and hitting this goal consistently, right? So if you are anything like me, I hope this can also help you with your goals and your belief work.
And specifically, I’m going to talk about the last step in my belief work that finally got to like open up the floodgates, so to speak, and finally get me changing my results and achieving my goals. So this last step is what I wasn’t doing before, and that made all the difference.
So before I get to that last step, I’m going to take you into some examples of what my belief work entails and what that process and daily practice was for me and looked like for me. And I’ll also clue you into like some of my favorite beliefs that brought me to my results and that worked for me. And then I’ll share with you that last step that made all the difference to me.
So, since I’m a dating and relationship coach, I’m going to use a dating analogy to bring you to some of my beliefs that I used. So one of the breakthroughs in dating that I experienced was realizing that there’s always plenty of my people, right? So high quality men and partners that fit my criteria in the dating pool. So you just have to be the person who attracts them. And then ultimately, all it takes though is one, right?
And you just have to fully trust the universe to send them to you simply because you are worthy of that love. Because I don’t know about you, but I spent way too much time of my dating life trying to convince that great guy right in front of me to want to be with me. Instead of realizing that if I just take a step back and look around, there were plenty of great guys that wanted to be with me, and I just wasn’t letting them into my purview and not giving them a chance.
So with my belief work in my business, it was the same, right? How you do one thing is how you do everything, right? So I leaned into the fact that I was worthy of one client per month because that was my goal at the time. Just like I was worthy of finding my person. And I didn’t have to impress people in front of me, or who were following me on Instagram. I just had to speak to my people, which there are plenty of, and all it takes is one because I was looking for one client per month.
So I was experiencing in my coaching, it was like I was seeking approval of everyone in my line of vision, right? Like, please like my posts, please follow me, find my content amazing, please want to work with me. When really, I didn’t need to be validated by others to succeed and get what I wanted and meet my goals.
I could just lean back and know that there are my people out there, and all I care about is attracting them because those are the people I can help the best anyway, right? And there are plenty of them out there. And they are enough, so I can just speak to them.
So I leaned into the fact, like I had this thought that there were like five to 10 of her, my ideal client out there reading my content, it only took one woman to reach out that month, and that I was worthy of it just like I was worthy of love. And I fully trusted the universe to just bring her to me. Just like it brought me my partner.
And I just decided that I was worthy of it, of the universe fulfilling my intentions fully because it was in service and it brought me joy. And that was just reason enough. And then I just leaned back and I trusted. And then just to share another few of my favorite thoughts that I had and beliefs, as a caveat, I might have borrowed these from other people but here we go.
Some other thoughts I had was I’m certain in my mind and grateful in my heart, what I desire desires me. What I intend is intended for me. The universe hears my intention clearly and fulfills it in the timing that is most harmonious for me and for all. It is guaranteed by universal law because I’m worthy, it’s in service, and it brings me joy. If it’s certain, I can afford to wait. Right?
And then after this belief work, I would then visualize, right? I would visualize and sit with the experience of obtaining one client. What would it feel like? I’d feel all of it. I would bring myself to tears sometimes from the overwhelming emotion that I would feel as if it already happened and I met all my goals. And then I would step into a meditation to deepen that intention and the feeling of receiving it.
And then, the last step that I wasn’t doing for a while, and that was tripping me up, was that then I would just go about my day. I’d let go, I would forget about it even. And it didn’t mean that I didn’t care or I wasn’t invested in my business. It just meant that it was done, right? That you can just now go enjoy your life or spend your time thinking of other fun things to do in your business as if it were done, right, to add value. And do that, right?
Sometimes I would worry so much that I did it right, like the belief work, and it’s like I would strangle my beliefs. I would catch myself throughout the day thinking things like, did I believe correctly? Did I think about the belief enough? Like, am I believing enough overall? Am I in the right energy for my belief all day long? Is it working? Am I doing it right? Or do I need to change something? I remember thinking, I would have a moment where I’d be like, oh no, did I step out of belief? It was exhausting.
I would catch my mind, but more importantly, my body go into this worry state and mode, which to me would feel like maybe like a pit in my stomach, my mind kind of doubting and racing and trying to problem solve, like trying to do it again. Which felt safe for me, right?
That was a default that my body was used to, like it was actually like helping the problem. This worry was second nature to my body and my mind. Honestly, a default that goes back for decades, like a norm in my nervous system, right? Like a baseline. And now I needed to find a new baseline, right?
Like my boyfriend has this phase that he would tell his patients when they would worry about how long it would take to bring them back to health, he’s a neurologist, and he’d say, “Well, yeah, that makes sense. Like it’s called the central nervous system for a reason, right? It’s not called the central relax system, right?” Which is kind of funny because this is the way our systems work, and our brains work.
But this is where I would block my results, right? Because it’s the resistance to abundance that blocks that abundance, right? And worry and doubt is resistance. Our mind tricks us into believing it’s helpful, but in this case it gets in our way, right? Worrying is a self-fulfilling prophecy and it only brings about what we’re worried about, right? So it perpetuates the fear, it brings it into a reality over, and over, and over again.
But if it was really done, we wouldn’t worry about it. We wouldn’t question it if we did it right. We wouldn’t even think about it anymore, we’d just move on. Our nervous system might still get activated for what it means to get the client or the goal and for what comes next, but not for whether we’d actually get it or not, right? That would be done.
So whenever I would worry and I would catch myself worrying throughout the day, I would literally say to myself, if it’s certain I can put down my worry. And I would shift my focus to something else and literally put down the worry in my body. It’s what my body was feeling that was getting in the way, right, my vibration. I had to learn how to relax with it. Like feel the relief of getting it in my visualization, and then chill out. Like be calm for the rest of the day.
Because that’s what it would actually be like if it all was happening. And I was 100% certain of it. And I would do it with my doubt too. If I would ever catch myself in disbelief, I would just say, if I’m certain, I can put down my doubt. And I would just calm my body down and turn my attention to something else. Like go have fun, go do other things I want to do on my business since my goal is already done, or just simply enjoy my life.
So all throughout the day when this worry or doubt would creep in, I’d just repeat that same process over, and over, and over again. And this was the last step that once I did this, the results started flowing in. And I didn’t even have to do it perfectly, right? I just had to pivot each and every moment that I brought up that awareness that it was happening, and that was it.
It’s kind of like meditation, right? A lot of people think when they’re meditating if they get carried away with their thoughts again, they think that they’re doing it wrong. But that’s not true, right? It’s the habit of catching yourself when your brain is having thoughts again and coming back to the mindfulness, coming back to your breath, coming back to the meditation. That’s the key. And the same thing is true here.
It’s okay if you get into disbelief, or into doubt, or into worry or nervousness, if you just catch yourself and pivot back to certainty each time. And honestly, before the results even started rolling in I remember thinking whether this works or not, this is just a way more enjoyable and peaceful way of living. Because I was doing the same actions in my business regardless, but now I’m also calm and relaxed.
Thankfully, it also paid off in my results. And ironically, or maybe not so ironic at all, it also brought me more than one client per month. But it’s going to feel unnatural and uncomfortable. But that’s the growth, right? Like sometimes we think our growth is one thing and just like landing the beliefs correctly, which it is a huge part of it. But sometimes our growth actually ends up being something else. And this is what it was for me.
So I think Lindsey once stated this or something similar, she said she likes this thought that the more calm and relaxed I am, the faster my results fly in. And I just love that because that is exactly what I experienced.
Okay, so if the thought, “if it’s certain, I can put down my worry,” doesn’t resonate for you, here are some other thoughts that I used around the same time. So I don’t have to see the how, I never see it until it gets shown to me. It gets proven to me time and time again that I’m never seeing the how. It’s working behind the scenes until the client appears. I can just trust that it’s always working behind the scenes and I don’t have to see it to believe it.
The how is none of my concern. My job is the what I would love, and then taking the next small step. And I would even say, like when I caught myself, I’m sorry I doubted you, universe. I also loved the thought it’s always working, no matter how hard my brain tries to convince me otherwise, right? Because our brains can be real jerks. Like high grade emotionally unavailable savages, right? Like just not there for you when times get dicey and you need them the most, right?
So it’s our job to remind our brains that everything is okay, that nothing has gone wrong. And also, if it’s certain, you can afford to wait. Like think about that truly. Like if you knew for sure it was all going to happen, like all of it, your goals, getting to a 100k coach this year, or a 200k coach, like you’re getting all the ideal clients you could ever want. Wouldn’t you be totally cool with waiting an extra day or two, or a month or two, or a few for that client or to like meet the goal or for whatever it is, right?
You’d just breathe, relax, take massive, inspired action in your business, but then just go enjoy your life, right? Go experience some magic, go spark joy. Like what would the 200K version of you do with her extra time? Do that, do it now. We keep waiting on our circumstances to change to finally put our worry down and enjoy our lives, but like, oh my god, let’s do it now, right? That’s what’s going to get us to the places that we want, to act as if. So putting down my worry was that last step before I saw that huge shift in my results.
And also, I also want to put in just a quick plug for gratitude, right? Being thankful for the clients that you do have, being in awe of how far you have come, right? Feeling so lucky that you get to wake up every day doing what you love and serving every single day in whatever capacity. Like I don’t care if you don’t have any clients right now, I feel lucky to even be able to serve my Instagram followers for free.
I work so hard to give them the best value and help them with their love lives because I want everyone to find love, and I want everyone to win, and I want everyone to know what I know. I feel everyone should know it because it fricking changes lives. It changed mine.
And if I can decrease even, you know, one month, a few months, a year of someone suffering and spinning their wheels without finding their person and finally achieving and experiencing the love life that they want because of something they read of mine, or saw of mine, like wow, am I fulfilling my purpose. Like I am the luckiest fricking person.
And trusting that when we do that and we continue to be grateful, to put out massive action in the areas that might be scary, but just seem fun that the 200K coach or 100K coach of us would do, that it all just comes together, right? Trusting the universe that the universe will always catch you, that you cannot fail when you do that. And knowing that like deep down in your core, right?
Because this is all in our control, like we are doing this. Our results aren’t a product of something happening outside of us, right? We’re running the show. You are in charge of your results and this is your chance, right? It’s like what are we waiting for?
Okay, I hope this was helpful and can hopefully add another tool in your toolbox of like another way that you can control and dictate your results. All right, I’m sending you all lots of love, kindness, and compassion to you and to your nervous system as you navigate your journey to massive success.
If you want to follow me or connect with me, I am Victoria Miretti. You can find me on Instagram at Victoriamiretti ready all one word. My last name is M-I-R-E-T-T-I or you can find me on my website at victoriamiretti.com Okay, I love you all, have a nice week. Bye.
If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.