Ep #31: Blame vs. Responsibility

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The concept of taking responsibility is one I cover fairly often on the podcast because it’s so crucial in creating the life and business you want. That said, I see so many of my clients use the notion of taking responsibility against themselves, so I want to clarify it for you today.

Taking responsibility is meant to be helpful on your journey to creating an anything but average life, but what I often see is that people tend to spiral into blame. The difference between blaming yourself and taking responsibility is only a minute shift, and I’m diving into why understanding this difference is so important.

Join me this week as I outline the difference between blame and responsibility, and show you why practicing stepping into responsibility creates power and change in your life. I’m also sharing one thought I fall back on when I notice myself slipping into blame so you can use it too.

If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with me in my signature program, Anything but Average, join the waitlist so you can be first in line when we reopen the doors!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • Why many of you use the idea of taking responsibility against yourself.
  • The difference between responsibility being useful versus hurtful.
  • One key difference between blame and responsibility.
  • A thought that helps me step into responsibility instead of blame.

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream business a reality, join my Anything but Average program.
  • Click here to find out more information about my Anything but Average Coach Mastermind!
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Anything but Average aha! moments!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hey guys, welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast, with your host, me, life coach Lindsey Mango, where I am going to teach you how to change your life, find your purpose, and change other people’s lives because that’s what it takes to have an anything but average life. Let’s get started.

Hey guys. Welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. Guys, it’s getting cold. I’m a little nervous about it, I have to be honest. Chris and I literally were like, oh my gosh. You guys know we lived in California for a year last year and the winter is coming.

And we just turned our heat on in our house and we’re like, oh my gosh, it’s happening. But I really have to be honest with you guys, I actually enjoy winter. I mean, by January, February, March, when it’s still frigid, not too big of a fan, but I love seasons. And it’s honestly something I really missed living in California.

So if you live in a warm place, good for you. Enjoy the sun, enjoy the weather. And for those of you who it’s getting colder for right now, romanticize it. I imagine, when I think about winter I’m like, I want to have a hot cup of tea, I want to be sitting by the window, looking out while it snows, put our fire on, cook warm cozy food. That’s an amazing experience too.

Everything gets to be an amazing experience. Alright, so today I want to talk about blame versus responsibility. So you guys hear me talk about this all the time. Last week I touched on it with the winner’s mentality, about taking responsibility.

And something I see a lot of my clients do is they don’t recognize the difference between blame and responsibility. And you guys know, I mean, you listen to this podcast, you know I’m so big on taking responsibility for every single area of our life, every result we create, how we’re contributing to every result we create because that gives us power.

But what a lot of us do is we use this against ourselves. The point of responsibility is for you to feel empowered, for you to feel like you are the writer of your story and you get to create every single result in your life. Not for you to feel shitty about it.

And so again, the difference between having responsibility be helpful versus hurtful is the difference between blame and responsibility. When you blame yourself, you feel terrible. And when you feel terrible, it’s not going to create the type of motivation and change that you need to create different results.

Now, I need you guys to know that. Blaming yourself isn’t a problem. It’s just an opportunity, just like everything I talk about on this podcast. That’s what I teach my clients in Anything but Average. How to shift these things so they can create different results.

But I just want you guys to be aware of the difference between blame and responsibility so that you can recognize it and shift it to create different results because that’s why you’re here, to create an anything but average life, which is about creating the life you want and creating the business you want.

So there’s just one slight difference between blame and responsibility. Blame comes from the thinking or the perspective, this is my fault, versus responsibility is I created this. This is my fault is blame. I created this is responsibility, which gives you power.

I want you guys to think about when you’re blaming yourself, how you feel and what type of result you create after that. You’re like, basically, I imagine it’s like you’re whipping yourself. Like you’re whipping a horse and you’re trying to whip yourself and blame yourself so that you feel shitty enough because your brain thinks if you do that, then you’ll change, when in reality, that just creates a vicious cycle of having to keep blaming yourself to create different results and to get into action.

Responsibility is about loving yourself to change. It’s about seeing how you’ve contributed to whatever result you’re creating and giving yourself power. That’s the difference. When you feel empowered, you create your results. When you feel blame, you feel shitty and then you try to change your results, and it comes from a totally different place, which ends up creating a totally different result.

I want to give you guys a quick example. When it comes to health, I used to whip myself and try to change my health by hating on my body and by eating a cookie and then blaming myself and making myself feel terrible and being like, this is your fault.

That created this cycle where I was like, all in for 30 days and then it would feel so hard and frustrating and painful that I couldn’t keep it up and I would go up and down and up and down and up and down. Versus when I have the thought, “I created this, I created this result, I ate this cookie, why did that happen?”

Maybe it was because I was trying to avoid my feelings, or I felt shitty, or I felt bored or whatever it is, then I have the awareness and the ability to change it. Then I have the power and the responsibility to be able to do something differently next time.

The other thing I want to offer you guys is you’re always doing the best you can. Even if your brain thinks you knew better, you’re always doing the best you can because whatever action you take, whatever you do, whatever result you create is a byproduct of the way that you’re thinking and who you are.

And even if your brain thinks it knows better, who you are still created that result. And so it helps me step into responsibility versus blame is the thought I’m always doing the best that I can, with what I have, no matter what, which means there’s never a reason to blame myself. There’s just an opportunity to learn, to grow, to take responsibility to do something different.

So I want you guys to practice being aware of when you’re blaming yourself versus when you’re just taking responsibility and seeing how you contributed to the result that you’re creating. Responsibility gives you power. Blame takes that power away. And it’s just a centimeter, it’s a tiny difference between this is my fault and I created this result.

So in what ways could you take more responsibility for yourself and the life you’re creating? And what things are you blaming yourself for that you could feel more empowered by having the thought I created this and how did I create this? And I was doing the best that I can.

That creates power and power creates change. When you have power, you have the ability to create any result you want in your life. Alright, quick episode today. I love you guys.

If this was useful, powerful for you, share it on your Instagram story. Tag me. Make sure to go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage to join the waitlist to actually learn how to work through this to create the life and business that you really want because that’s how you create an anything but average life. I love you guys and I will talk to you next week. Bye.

If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with me in my signature program, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. In this program, I will teach you how to take this work and create results so you can have a life that blows your mind in the areas of money, purpose, health, lifestyle, and romance. I can’t wait to see you on the inside.

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