Ep #119: How to Get Out of Your Own Way

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Guys, you are finally hearing from me in real time again this week. I’m back at work after taking time off for maternity leave, and I have to be honest, I had some very human thoughts about my first day back in my coaching business. 

So often, we follow people who we think have reached the pinnacle of success and assume they’re no longer susceptible to the same thinking and drama we’re experiencing. But the truth is I still very much have a human brain that indulges in fear, doubt, and overwhelm, but the secret is I know how to get out of my own way. 

Join me this week as I show you how to get out of your own way so you can create the results you want. You’ll learn why you’re doing yourself a disservice by putting other people on a pedestal, the only difference between someone who creates the results they want and someone who doesn’t, and why you don’t need to remove the humanness of your experience to be successful.

Anything but Average is now open for enrollment! This is the program that teaches you how to start your coaching business and sign clients so you can create the life you really want, so click here to join!

The Anything but Average Coach Mastermind is now closed for enrolment. If you want to be in the fall class, make sure to mark your calendars for August 31st.

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • How I worked through my thoughts about my first day back at work.
  • Why we do a disservice to ourselves by putting other people on a pedestal.
  • The only difference between people who create the results they want and people who don’t. 
  • 2 things you need to get out of your own way. 

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream coaching business a reality, join my Anything but Average program.
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Anything but Average aha! moments!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.

Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of anything but average. Guys, how are you? Like I said last week, it’s actually me. I’m recording these in real time, not in like three months in advance. I am back from maternity leave and I am so excited to be serving my clients, creating, using my brain again. Maternity leave was amazing and I’m adoring every second I have with Eva. But this is my soul’s work and I just feel so lit up and on fire to get to do it.

Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to make sure you guys know that Anything But Average is now open for enrollment today, it opened July 6th. This is the program that teaches you how to start your coaching business and sign clients so you can create the life you really want.

When you enroll you’ll get access to the Anything But Average portal that walks you through video modules step by step on how to become a great coach, develop your own expertise by changing your own life, how to develop your offer and actually launch your business, and how to sign clients. You will also get access to live coaching with me or one of my coaches every week.

And access to a community of support from other coaches, from myself, where you can ask questions whenever you need coaching, whenever you need help, as well as be surrounded by other coaches who are doing it. I find so often, when we aren’t surrounded by people who are going for their dreams, it’s easy for us to forget them. It’s easy for us to go through the motions and forget why it’s important.

But being in this community and being in this program keeps you from forgetting so that you can make it a priority and stay focused so that you can wake up a year from now with the coaching business that you want and with the life that you want.

All right, so let’s jump in. So today what I want to talk about is my first day back. I’m going to tell you guys a quick story about my first day back in my coaching business and the human thoughts that I had and what I did about it and how I worked through them.

Because here’s what I’ve realized, I think so often we follow people and we think that they aren’t susceptible to the same thinking, and the same drama, and the same doubt, and the same fear that we have. We see them, we put them on this pedestal. We think they’re successful and we think they must not have the same drama and thoughts that we have. And it’s not true.

In fact, I actually think we do ourselves a disservice by believing that because we think these people are like special or we think we have to remove all the humaneness and the drama from our life so we can reach success, and it’s not the case. And I want to talk about that today so that you can apply it to your world so you can create the results and the success and the life that you want and the coaching business you want with the drama.

So let’s jump in. Here’s what happened, so Monday morning comes and it’s our nanny’s first day. And I’m so excited to get back to work and have some time where I get to go in my office and create, and use my brain, and do what I love. And I do my morning routine and I finally get to my office, took a little bit longer than normal, if you can’t tell I said the word finally. I get into my office and I sit down to start working.

And while my business manager is amazing, we had a meeting like the Friday before, we discussed exactly what the priorities were so that I could start working as soon as I got in my office. And my brain immediately went to overwhelm, like serious overwhelm.

I started thinking about all of the things that I needed to do and get done, all the decisions that needed to be made in my business, all of the content that needed to be created. And all the little tasks that I just put off and chose not to do when I was on my maternity leave. And I seriously sat at my desk for at least an hour just like task switching and spinning and overwhelm and, obviously, getting nothing done.

And I felt really uncomfortable because my brain was creating the added pressure that I only get three days because my nanny is only coming three days and I have to get it done, which was of course creating even more pressure and even more overwhelm. So I took some time to just kind of sit in that discomfort and then I spent some time coaching myself.

And that’s literally how my first day back went. Like I got nothing created, I really got no decisions made, I just sat in overwhelm for like half the day. And then the other half, I spent time coaching myself on it. Which in my high achiever brain I wanted to be like nothing got done today, I didn’t even produce any real tangible thing other than coaching myself. When in reality, coaching is the most important thing I could have done for myself.

Now, here’s what happened, I shared this on my Instagram story and people were commenting and they were like, “Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to hear you have a human brain.” And I found it very fascinating because I think, like I said at the beginning, we think people reach this pinnacle of success and they no longer have human thoughts and a human brain.

And the truth is, it’s not true at all. I literally have all of the same thoughts, all of the same drama, all of the same things that cause overwhelm as every single person listening to this. My brain works just like your brain. And I think that’s important to hear because then it shows you you can create the life that I have and the results I have with the human brain that you have.

So the next morning I woke up and I coached myself really hard on the overwhelm even more and got prepared for the day. And that’s actually today, it went a whole lot better. And I was thinking about, I was actually sharing on my story the process of how I shifted from overwhelm to feeling certain and focused. And that’s when it hit me that that is the only difference between people who create the results that they want in their life and people who don’t.

It’s not that we have different human brains. Again, you ask any successful person, any coach, anybody who has the results that you want, and I guarantee they have many of the same thoughts you have. The only difference is that we have learned, we have cultivated the skill set and the ability to coach ourselves or to shift ourselves from those human thoughts, from the thoughts that are holding us back, from the thoughts that make us feel overwhelmed, to different thoughts, to a different perspective that serves us to create a different result.

And in order to do that, you need a couple of things. One, you need to have compassion. You need to not judge yourself for having a human brain. Your brain is wired to protect you, to keep you safe, to be efficient, to use minimal energy, which means not taking risks and not doing uncomfortable things. That is all, like literally all humans, that’s how our brain works.

So there’s no reason to judge yourself when you get into overwhelm or when you have thoughts like I don’t think I can actually do this. Or how do I sign clients? Or I’m confused, I don’t know what type of coach I want to be. I don’t know how to change my life, or what will people think?

When you have all of those, the worst thing you can do is judge yourself for them because when you judge yourself then you’re not able to actually change them. You just sit there and shame and judge yourself and you get nowhere with it.

So I think the first thing and most important thing is to learn to just have compassion for the fact that you have a human brain and it wants to keep you safe and wants to protect you and be efficient. So that’s the first place.

The second thing is, we don’t believe that the thoughts and the feelings and the things that our brain creates are true. We believe that there’s a way to change them in order to create different outcomes in our life. And then we go to work to do that and then get into action. That is literally it.

So the reason why I wanted to share this is because I was thinking about Anything But Average and what I teach inside the program. I teach processes to actually show you how to change the way you’re thinking, to change the way you’re feeling, so that you stop believing what your brain tells you and you know exactly how to change it so you can get out and get into action to create the results that you want.

Because without that skill set, you’re just going to become, like I think of it like you’re a robot to your brain. Your brain is just like, oh, we are worried about what other people think, that’s true, that’s a fact. Okay, we’re not going to launch our coaching business and we’re just going to stay here.

Versus when you have the tools, it doesn’t mean that that thought just disappears necessarily. It means that you have the thought, you can get enough distance from it to look at it and question it, and then you have the tools to change it so that you can start your coaching business and create the life you really want instead of holding yourself back because you’re afraid of what other people think.

And that, to me, is one of the biggest values of having a coach, of being in Anything But Average, of getting access to those weekly coaching calls, is so that you can take your human brain, which is going to do its job, and learn how to change it so you can create different outcomes.

So the only difference between you and me isn’t that I have this unique brain, it’s that I’ve just learned how to change it so it can create different results, so I can create different results. And that’s what we do inside of the program. And that’s what we do as coaches.

First you have to learn how to do that for yourself. That’s how you master the ability to then do that for others, to show them that their thoughts, and their doubt, and their overthinking and overwhelm isn’t actually true, and that there’s a way out of it. And that’s why we start in the program by changing your own life and developing and fostering that skill set within yourself so that, one, you can get into action to create the results you want. But two, you have an understanding of how to do that for others.

So that’s it, that’s all that I wanted to share with you. I’m a human, I get into overwhelm, I have doubt, I have fear, I have growth always. To my next level it’s exactly the same as what your brain offers you. And when you learn how to override that, when you learn how to work through that, you’ll create different outcomes. And that’s what we do in Anything But Average and that’s what we do as coaches.

Anything But Average is now open again July 6th, it has opened today. I always think about people who are listening to this after the fact, that’s why I always say the date. We go in depth and talk about how to do this so that you can start your coaching business, sign clients, be a great coach for your clients, and create the life that you really want. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside. Bye.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything But Average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

I love hearing from you!

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