Ep #62: Good vs Bad Thoughts

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We’ve officially hit the midway point of 2021, and let me ask you, have you finally started your coaching business? If you haven’t and you find yourself endlessly putting it off, I invite you to listen in closely this week.

If starting a coaching business is something you’ve wanted, but you notice your brain producing thoughts that are holding you back and keeping you stuck, I first want you to know that this is not a problem. What I see too often is coaches getting caught up in the concept of “good” versus “bad” thoughts, and this week, I want to offer that there is no such thing.

Listen in this week as I show you why there are no good or bad thoughts, and the power of approaching all of your thoughts from a place of neutrality and curiosity. I’m sharing the detrimental effects of labeling your thoughts, and how doing this work is the fast track to your coaching practice getting off the ground, signing clients, and finally living your purpose.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in my signature program, Anything but Average. It’s where I’ll walk you through everything you need to know about starting a coaching business, so click here to enroll and I’ll see you on the inside! 

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • What happens when you label your thoughts as either good or bad.
  • Why you might have resistance to looking at your thoughts.
  • The consequences of not examining your thoughts.
  • Why there are no good or bad thoughts.
  • The power of approaching your thoughts from a place of neutrality and curiosity.

Featured on the Show

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Click to Read Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. Guys, how are you? It is June. What? I literally cannot believe that. That means we are six months into 2021 and we have six months left.

I want to take this opportunity to bring that into your awareness. Did you start the year thinking this is the year I finally start my coaching business? And you still haven’t done it yet. I want you to use this as an opportunity to bring awareness to why you keep putting it off and take this moment to decide you’re going to join Anything but Average and start your coaching business.

Because whatever reasons that have kept you pushing it off are the exact things we’re going to be coaching on inside the program to make sure you prioritize your dream. It only took me six months to replace my corporate income from the first day I opened my coaching business to the time that I put my notice in at my job and left officially.

That means you could start now and be at that place by the end of the year. Decisions don’t change by waiting for your circumstances to change. You’re starting to see that, right? You’ve been waiting six months for circumstances to change, for you to feel ready, for you to have more time, for whatever it is you’re waiting on, and they haven’t because the only way to produce a different result in your life, the only way to start your coaching business is to make the decision no matter the circumstances.

So use this as an opportunity. Anything but Average is open right now. You can join and get everything you need, the entire process, to go from developing your skills as a coach, identifying what type of coach you’re going to be and who you’ll help, exactly how to launch your business out into the world, and how to start signing clients.

You will still be able to get access to the marketing workshop replay as well as the virtual copy of the marketing workbook. So that’s going to be in the program for good.

Alright, before we jump into today’s episode, I want to share a testimonial from one of the students in Anything but Average. Here is what Jess had to say. “I honestly could cry. I have spent years feeling like I was meant for so much more and joining Anything but Average allowed me to get clear on exactly what I wanted and go all in on starting my coaching business. I’m stepping into who I’ve dreamt of becoming for so long and finally creating the business I really want.”

Guys, that’s one of the biggest things that shifts the moment you join the program is you go from thinking about wanting more, from thinking it’s possible, to deciding you’re going to make it a reality. And that’s what changed for Jess the minute she joined the program and started walking through the process.

Congrats Jess, I’m so excited for you. Alright, let’s jump into today’s topic. So today what I wanted to talk about was good versus bad thoughts. Good versus bad thoughts. So if you’ve been tuning in to my podcast for a while and you’re in this world, thinking about becoming a coach, maybe you already are a coach and you’ve joined the program, you know that I teach a model that Brooke Castillo created, I use those as one of the foundational tools.

And in that model are thoughts produce our results. I did a whole podcast on this at the beginning of the Anything but Average podcast, so go back and check it out if you haven’t heard it yet.

But just a quick overview, essentially, every single thought we have creates a feeling in our body. That feeling drives forward our action or our lack of action, and then that produces the results. So anything you want to do, starting your coaching business, starting to sign clients, starting to create the life you really want, it starts at changing it at the thought level.

This is why so many people don’t change the results they get in their life, don’t start their business, don’t start signing clients, don’t change their life because they try to change their circumstances or they try to change their actions without changing the way they are thinking, and then they keep producing the same results over and over and over again.

This work is about changing your thoughts at the core level so they literally compel you into the action that’s going to produce the result that you want. When you believe people are out there, they need your help, and you can help them, you’re going to be compelled into starting your coaching business, instead of trying to force yourself into getting started, instead of trying to convince yourself, “Okay, I should start telling people about it.”

When you really think you can help people and they need your help, you’re going to be talking about it like it’s your favorite restaurant. It’s not going to feel forced. And this is one of the things I teach you inside the program, how to get started.

And that’s why we start with changing your life so you can start to see the impact that coaching makes in your life so you are compelled to go out and start telling people about it. So the reason why I wanted to talk about good versus bad thoughts is because something I see so many people do once they start to understand this concept is they start to label their thinking.

They start to think, “Oh, that’s a bad thought, I shouldn’t have that thought, I shouldn’t think it’s going to be hard to start my coaching business, or nobody’s going to want what I have to offer, or people are going to think I’m silly. I shouldn’t be thinking that. That’s a bad thought.”

Versus, “Oh, this is a good thought. I have something really valuable to offer people, people want what I have to offer, I can really help them, I can actually do this.” What I’ve seen so often with my students is they start to label their thinking, and here’s what happens when you start to label your thinking under good thoughts versus bad thoughts.

The thought that something is bad immediately puts us into a different model, meaning it immediately throws us into the feeling of shame, judgment, feeling negative about all of that thinking. And the minute we start to feel shame, negative, bad, we are going to have resistance to looking at our thinking.

We’re going to have resistance to taking a peek inside our brain and looking at what is showing up for us. And when you do that, you literally block yourself from bringing awareness to the thinking that is producing your results. It actually ends up producing – I did another episode on this, I forget what episode number it is but they’ll put it in the show notes.

This creates the result of thought avoidance, meaning it’s like – I think of it sometimes you’re like, ripping the steering wheel and you’re like, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I totally believe I’m going to get clients, I totally believe this is going to work, and you’re trying to convince yourself and like it’s very fragile, your belief is very fragile and you’re like, no, it’s fine, I totally believe there’s no bad thoughts here.

Because you feel so much shame or you feel so negative about those bad thoughts. And then what you end up doing is just because you’re ignoring these thoughts doesn’t mean that they’re not there. And they are constantly producing and impacting the results you create in your coaching business, when you get started, in your work with your clients, in signing clients.

So the more resistance you have to looking at your thoughts and bringing awareness to what’s happening below the surface and why you’re producing the outcomes you’re producing, the less power you’re going to have over changing them.

I imagine it like if there’s a monster, if you believe there’s a monster in the closet and you shut the door, it doesn’t mean the monster’s not there. The monster is still there and it’s still going to impact all of your behavior. You’re going to be avoiding the closet, you’re going to be like, don’t go in there, and it’s still going to impact every result you have in your life, the way you show up all of the time, even if it’s behind closed doors.

So what I want to offer to you guys today is the concept that there are no good or bad thoughts. That thoughts are completely neutral. They mean nothing. It doesn’t matter if you have a thought, “I’m not sure I can do this, I’m not sure I can start a coaching business, or I’m not sure if people are going to want what I have to offer.” That is not a problem.

You have a human brain. Welcome to being human. No matter how great of a coach you are, no matter how much you understand this work, you will always have a human brain, thank god, because it wants to keep you alive. And that’s why it will constantly bring up new fears, new doubts, and try to keep you safe and comfortable.

This isn’t a problem. But the best thing you can do for yourself and the results you’re producing in your coaching business and in getting started is by not labeling them as bad. By not making yourself feel shameful about having thoughts that are producing the outcome you’re getting.

You don’t even have to think that the outcome is bad. You can literally feel 100% neutral and bring awareness to oh, here’s my thoughts, here’s my feelings, here’s my actions, here’s the result I’m getting. Maybe it’s not the result you want, not a problem. You have a human brain. This is just your opportunity to bring awareness to it and change it.

So the feelings you want to create in your body, the feelings you want to have when you’re looking at your models, when you’re looking at your limiting beliefs or your blocks or whatever you want to call them, when you’re noticing the sentences in your mind and they sound really mean, it’s like, I imagine there’s an angel and a devil and the devil’s like, you’re terrible.

That even kind of labels them as good or bad. But I want you to approach it from a place of neutrality. I want you to approach it from a place of curiosity. From a place of understanding there are no good and there are no bad thoughts. There are just thoughts, there are just feelings. There is just your human brain wanting to protect you. Nothing has gone wrong here.

So for all of you guys who want to start a coaching business but you notice your brain giving you all of these thoughts that aren’t helping you get started, not a problem. There are no bad thoughts. This is just your work. That is just your opportunity to grow and change and to work on this thinking to produce a different outcome in your life.

What this also helps you do is bring awareness to thoughts that might seem on the surface super helpful to produce the outcomes that you want, but maybe they’re not producing the outcome you want. Maybe they seem like “good” thoughts, but if you really looked at it from a neutral or curious place, they actually don’t – they’re not going to help you create the outcome you want.

So this also helps you on the flip side. And I see this happen so often with so many students, they’re like, “But my model is great, I don’t know why I’m getting the outcome I’m getting.” I have all these good thoughts, and I’m like, you’re not looking deep enough, you’re not looking at it from a place of curiosity, you’re not looking at it from the standpoint of every single thought shows up in my result line, it shows up in the results I’m producing and getting my coaching business started, so there has to be something here.

And again, there’s no reason to feel shame about it, there’s no reason to feel bad about it, there’s no reason to make it mean anything about you other than the fact that you have a human brain. Because there is no such thing as a good thought or a bad thought.

When you do this, you are going to grow so much faster. You are going to bring awareness to everything holding you back so much faster and you’re going to be able to change it because you’re not going to have any resistance to changing it. You’re not going to make it mean something that you have this specific thought, because it means literally nothing.

This is something I teach you inside Anything but Average, how to bring awareness to your brain and all the thinking that’s holding you back from creating the outcomes you want, how to see it from a more neutral place and question it, how to catch when your brain is really resistant to even looking at where a thought might be out of alignment to produce the result that you want.

The faster you do that, the faster you get your business started, the faster you start signing clients, the faster you start living in your purpose and creating the coaching business that is going to fuel forward the life you really want. And the better you do this with your own brain, the better you understand this, the better you’re going to understand it for your clients’ brains, the better of a coach you will be.

Because you can only take your clients as deep as you’re willing to go. You can only bring awareness to something for your clients as aware you are of your own brain. So this is going to directly impact the way you coach, who you are as a coach, your confidence as a coach.

And it’s going to impact every result you create in your coaching business and you help your clients create in their lives. I love you guys, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. I will see you on the side of the program and I will talk to you next week. Bye.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in Anything but Average, where I will walk you through the step-by-step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

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