Ep #23: I Can Vs. I Can’t

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This week, we’re diving into the difference between the thought, “I can,”  versus, “I can’t.”  I know that by now, all of you understand the importance of believing that you can do something to create the results you want, but we’re taking it to a deeper level on this episode.

Shifting your mindset from I can’t to I can, and understanding what lies below the surface of what you believe you can or can’t do, is going to serve up the exact thing that’s keeping you stuck and preventing you from creating what you want in your life. It is vital to dig into the why of the reason you don’t have the results you want, and I’m guiding you through this process today.

Listen in this week as I show you the value of taking responsibility for all of your results, and how empowering yourself by doing this is the key to creating an anything but average life.

If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with my in my signature program, Anything but Average, the waitlist is now open. Waitlist members will be the first to get notified the next time the program is open, so make sure to get on it and I look forward to seeing you in there!

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • How shifting from the thought I can’t to I can makes all the difference in creating results in your life.
  • Why taking responsibility and being in control of the results you create or don’t create is so vital.
  • How feeling disempowered creates a vicious cycle of not creating results.
  • The key to identifying why you don’t have the results you want.

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream business a reality, join my Anything but Average program.
  • Click here to find out more information about my Anything but Average Coach Mastermind!
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Anything but Average aha! moments!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Hey guys, welcome to the Anything but Average Podcast, with your host, me, life coach Lindsey Mango, where I am going to teach you how to change your life, find your purpose, and change other people’s lives because that’s what it takes to have an anything but average life. Let’s get started.

Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything but Average. Guys, I am so excited to be back home from Chicago. Literally, it was the best trip ever except – here’s what I will tell you. I do not miss a ton about California, while I loved it and I wouldn’t change being there for a year.

It’s beautiful, I miss the ocean, I miss being able to walk to all the amazing shops and restaurants, although you can’t really do that right now. What I miss the most – you guys are going to crack up – is that there are no bugs and no mosquitoes because I am one of those people that gets eaten alive by mosquitoes.

I’m not kidding you guys, if you hear me itching, I’ll do my best not to. I’m pretty sure I have 10 mosquito bites on one foot and like, 20 on one leg. It’s absurd. I look ridiculous and I am the worst. I know itching makes them worse, but I literally feel like I’m crawling in my skin. I have to itch them.

So yeah, when I was in Chicago I got like, 50 million mosquito bites and that’s the first time where I was like, you know what, I really miss California. Who would have thought that I would miss California because of the bugs or a lack thereof situation? But seriously, you guys know, if you get eaten alive by mosquitoes, you know that it is the worst. At least it feels like the worst.

I know there are way worse things, but I just hate it. And I’m about to go get my nails done today and I was like, my ankles literally look like I have the chicken pox. Anyway, I’m sure you guys are super interested in my mosquito bite situation, but let’s get started on today’s topic.

So what I wanted to talk about today was the difference between the thought I can versus I can’t. Now, I know you guys I’m sure have heard quotes and heard all of the things about believing that you can’t do something and all of that, but I want to take this to a deeper level to understand how shifting this one thought, going from I can’t to I can, is the difference maker to creating results in your life and understanding what’s behind that, what’s deeper, what’s below the I can versus I can’t that is going to give you on a silver platter the exact thing that’s keeping you from creating results in your life.

So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. So if you guys have listened to many of my episodes, read my content, all of the things, you know that one of the most importance pieces and one of the biggest things I talk about is responsibility and being in control of ourselves and the results that we create in our lives.

So when we are in control, when we feel like we are the creator of our results, of every single outcome in our life, we feel empowered. And when we’re empowered and when we’re in control, and I don’t mean control in a grippy way. I just mean in control like, you actually can create the results that you want, what it means is that you’re in charge of creating your results.

So when you’re empowered, when you feel like you get to dictate the outcome, you are in charge of the results you create. And when you’re in charge of the results that you create, guess what happens? It’s not science or anything crazy. You get to create results. You get to be in control of the results you create, you get to create results.

And when you don’t create results, you get to show up and adjust and do it again until you get the result that you want. Now, this is why the thought I can’t versus I can is so important.

So I want you guys to think about anywhere in your life where you say, where you have the thought I can’t. It doesn’t always show up as the exact I can’t, like that obvious, but it looks like I can’t do that or my circumstance is in control, I can’t because I don’t have the money, I can’t because my boss won’t allow it, I can’t because I have kids, I can’t because I’m in debt, I can’t because whatever.

Essentially, the thought I can’t shows up when you’re making your circumstance responsible for the results that you’re creating or for why you do or don’t do something. So when you have the thought I can’t, what that means is that your circumstance, whatever it is, is in control. It always means you are making the circumstance responsible in that situation.

Now, when you’re making the circumstance responsible and when you have the thought I can’t, the feeling that you have is power – I’m going to make up words here, maybe this is a word, but powerlessness. You feel like a victim. It’s like the opposite of control. It’s lack of control.

I want you guys to think about in your life, when you feel powerless, when you feel like a victim, when you feel like you have no control, what action do you take? Some of you guys take complete inaction, like you don’t do anything. Some of you guys stay in total avoidance. Some of you guys take tons of action to try to prove that you can do something.

But regardless of the action that it drives forward in your life, the result that that creates is that your circumstance dictates your outcome and that your outcome is whatever your circumstance is. And that creates a cycle.

So let’s think about that when it comes to your job. Let’s just say you have a corporate job, you want to go follow your purpose and find what you’re meant to do and start a business and do something you love, but the thought you have is I can’t. I can’t because I have a job.

The feeling that you have is powerlessness, victim, and then the action you take is probably inaction or avoidance. You might just avoid even thinking about what you want to do with your life. You might just avoid how you feel and just try to numb yourself out and show up at work and be like, just be happy with where you are.

And the result you create when you do that is that you stay at the job. And the result you create is that you can’t change your reality and you can’t create the result that you want, and that’s what creates a vicious cycle that continues to repeat itself.

Let’s use another example. So a lot of you guys want to make an investment in yourself to join Anything but Average. When you have the thought I can’t, I don’t have the money, or I can’t, I need this money for something else, the feeling that you have is powerlessness and being a victim.

When you feel that way, you either avoid it, so you don’t even pay attention and you don’t even go look at the program, any of it. You just avoid the possibility or the opportunity, or you just don’t take action. You’re just like, I can’t do that so I’m not going to sign up for the program.

The result you create is the exact result you have now. You have no control. You don’t get to change your life. You get to keep creating the results that you have and the circumstances that you currently have.

Now, what’s important about this is that it doesn’t always mean that you should take the action that you want to take, or you should do the thing opposite of when you have the thought I can’t because of this. It doesn’t necessarily mean you should just jump and make the investment.

But what it does mean is you have to look at the result that your current thinking of I can’t will create and realize that that’s not going to get you where you want to go. So there’s two things that can happen here. There’s two possibilities.

Some of you guys are hearing this and you’re like, oh, I see that. If you are totally in the belief that you actually can’t do something, that’s where this work starts. That’s one of the first places I start with clients in Anything but Average because when you believe that you can’t, believe you’re incapable, if you’re incapable then you can’t create the result, that’s where we have to start because you won’t take steps, you won’t take action, you will definitely not create the results that you want if you believe you’re incapable of creating them. That’s the first phase of growth.

Now, some of you guys will hear this and what I want to challenge you on, kind of the next layer of this is do you actually believe you can’t? Like, I want you guys to think about this. Let’s use the investment example. I want you to imagine that your rent was due for $2000. That’s how much the program is.

Or you had a health issue that was $2000. Do you actually believe that you could find a way to make that investment, to find that money? Or let’s just say you believe that you can’t find your purpose. Do you actually believe that you can’t or is that what you’re just telling yourself?

If your life was on the line or something you really cared about was on the line and someone was like, you have to find your purpose, do you actually believe that you can’t? I think most of you know deep down that you can.

Now again, if you’re in the first phase and you really believe that you can’t and you’re incapable, that’s why we have to coach and work on changing that belief. Otherwise you create the same cycle.

But the second piece is if you do actually believe you can and you have the thought I can, what you want to look at is then why are you not? Why are you not making that decision? Why are you not creating that result? Whatever your response is to that is the reason why you don’t have the result that you want.

What’s important about this isn’t that you just decide you can, and you go do it. But what you have to look at is why aren’t you, what’s the reason? This is why making an investment in yourself or making any decision is always so important to look at the why behind it. Because whatever thought is driving it is going to show up in the results that you create.

So I’ll give you guys a quick example and then we’ll dig into this a little bit deeper. I believe that I can do anything. And this has come from layers and layers of digging down and doing lots of work. So I use this example where I’m like, I really believe that if I wanted to buy a private jet, I don’t have the money to buy a private jet right now, but if I wanted to, I could find a way. I wholeheartedly believe that.

Now, I have to ask myself, why am I not? And my thought is I’m choosing not to because that’s not important to me. That’s not something I want to do. And I feel good about that decision. But what I want you guys to look at is if you want to change your life, you want your life to blow your mind and you realize, oh, I could find the money to enroll in Anything but Average, I can do that, if your reason for not doing it, if you ask yourself why and your reason is because it’s not that important, you have to look at that.

If it’s not that important, then why? Why is changing your life and getting everything that you want not a priority or not that important? Whatever that reason is is what’s keeping you where you are. That’s why you’re creating the results that you are creating.

So you have to ask yourself, when you realize, when you make that shift to I can, which some of you guys might still be in that phase of this process, but when you realize I could, I could find a way to do this thing, why am I not? If you look at that reason and you were to ask yourself, is that reason going to create the result that I want in my life? If the answer is no, that’s what’s blocking you.

That’s what I work with my clients on in Anything but Average. So I’ll give you guys some examples. If you believe I can make the investment or I can x, y, z, whatever it is, but your reason why you’re not is because it’s not a priority, like it’s not a must, look at that. If creating the life you really want is not a must, why? Why isn’t it the most important thing?

Or maybe you don’t believe you can actually get the results that you want. If you don’t believe you can get the results that you want, then it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re not going to create the results. Maybe the thought is it hasn’t happened yet, I’ve tried a bunch of things and it hasn’t happened yet.

If you use past evidence to predict your future outcome, you will continue to create the exact same results you have now. Or maybe your response is I’m afraid of what will happen if I do it. If you’re using that fear to make your decisions, then that’s what’s keeping you stuck.

So whatever your response is, when you ask yourself, okay, if I really do believe I can find a way, if it was a life or death situation, I would be capable, why am I not, that’s what we have to work on. That’s what we do inside the program. That is going to give you your exact problem that’s keeping you, your exact belief, your exact thought process that’s keeping you from creating results and that’s where the work begins.

That’s what I help my clients do in Anything but Average. That’s why every single decision you make is super important to look at why you’re making the decision you’re making. Again, it’s not important to me to buy a private jet. I feel totally good about saying I believe I can find a way, but I’m choosing not to.

But if you believe you can find a way to invest in yourself or make whatever decision you need to make to finally create the results that you want and you’re not because it’s not that important to you, then you have to look at why creating the results and the life you really want is not important to you.

Or you have to look at why you’re afraid, or you have to look at why you don’t believe. Because if you keep using that to make this decision or any decision after that, you will continue to create the same results, and you guys aren’t here for that.

You’re here to change your life. You’re here to create everything you ever wanted. You’re here to unlock your deepest potential, change your life, find your purpose, and change other people’s lives, and using the same thought process you have now to do that is not going to get you what you want. And that’s what I help my clients do over and over and over and over again.

So if you are ready to close that gap, if you’re looking at this and you’re realizing that you have a reason that you don’t like or you have a belief or thought that’s holding you back and you’re ready and you’re committed and you’re willing to do whatever it takes, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage.

That program is not open right now, but when you go to the page, the website, there will be a link to join the waitlist. When you join the waitlist, you will be the first to know when it’s going to be reopening for you to join, and that’s where you get the opportunity to take back your control, to take back your power and decide you’re the one in charge of creating the results you want and you’re the one in charge of taking that step so you can close these gaps.

I love you guys. I’m so excited to hear your feedback. If this impacted you in any way, share it on your Instagram. Tag me, my handle is @lindseymango_ and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye.

If you want to take this work even deeper and coach with me in my signature program, go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. In this program, I will teach you how to take this work and create results so you can have a life that blows your mind in the areas of money, purpose, health, lifestyle, and romance. I can’t wait to see you on the inside.

I love hearing from you!

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