Ep #103: When You’re Not Believing

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Something that’s discussed heavily in the coaching industry is the power of our beliefs. We know that the key to creating the results we want has to start with building our wholehearted belief that it’s going to happen, and it’s the very first step we work on. 

While we know that we show up completely differently when we’re in belief versus when we’re not believing, this week, I’m sharing something that you might not have considered before. The truth is not believing isn’t actually a problem. And freaking out about not being in belief is the worst thing you can do for your growth. 

Join me this week as I show you how you might be using your lack of belief against yourself. I’m offering why you don’t want to spend time ruminating in this place, and a four-step process you can use to start bridging the gap between not believing and believing. 

The Anything but Average doors are opening on April 6th and closing on April 11th. For exclusive sneak peeks of the portal, the program, the community, and to apply as soon as doors open, click here to join the waitlist!

The Anything but Average Coach Mastermind is now closed for enrolment. If you want to be in the fall class, make sure to mark your calendars for August 31st.

What You'll Learn on this Episode

  • How you show up when you’re in belief versus when you’re not believing. 
  • Why not believing isn’t actually a problem. 
  • 4 things you need to do when you’re not believing. 

Featured on the Show

  • If you are ready to take this work deeper and make your dream coaching business a reality, join my Anything but Average program.
  • Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Anything but Average aha! moments!

Click to Read Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Anything But Average podcast where I will teach you how to create a coaching business one step at a time. I’m Lindsey Mango, a life coach passionate about helping you create the life of your wildest dreams by creating a coaching business. Let’s get started.

Hello, and welcome back to another week and another episode of Anything But Average. Guys, how are you? I hope you’re having a beautiful week. It’s kind of crazy, I’m actually recording this episode in December, which is nuts. And so I’m just projecting onto what the future might hold.

But I’m thinking by this time I’m feeling very ready for Eva to be here. So if she isn’t yet, this is my past self speaking to my future self. Please, Eva, hear the message, I think I’m probably very ready for you to come. Who knows? maybe I’ll be feeling great. But I have a feeling I’m going to be a little bit swollen and waddling around. So we’ll see. Send good vibes if you haven’t seen me post about Eva yet.

Before we jump in, just a reminder that Anything But Average opens again for enrollment April 6th and closes April 11th. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage, make sure to join the wait list. You get exclusive access to sneak peeks of the program. You get two, I think it’s five to seven minute peeks at the live coaching. I’ve actually had people say how much value they got just out of watching that and that they were able to take some of the coaching.

We also walk you through how to prepare for the investment and how to start saving for it. What to do now to get prepared so when you join you can hit the ground running. Honestly, it’s one of the most highly valuable wait lists that I’ve ever seen and I’ve ever heard of. So just make sure that you get on there and you will also be the first to join the program when it reopens on April 6th.

All right, so let’s jump in. Today what I want to talk about is what to do when you’re not believing. So you guys have heard me talk about this, it’s something that’s talked about very heavily in the coaching industry, that the key to creating the result you want first starts with your belief, believing that it’s going to happen wholeheartedly. If you don’t have that, every action you take is going to reflect the lack of belief you have in your result.

When you have belief, every action you take gets you closer and closer to the result. So just to give you guys a quick example, if you 100% believe you’re going to sign a client, every time you fail, every time you do something and it doesn’t work, you know, you’re getting one step closer. You keep showing up with that type of power, and clarity, and certainty. And the result you end up creating is that you sign clients.

When you don’t, every time you fail or it doesn’t work, you start to get in your head, you start to wonder if you’re doing it wrong, you change all of your actions. And you never work at something consistently long enough for it to start working. You start to doubt yourself, that starts to come through in your marketing. And the result you create is you get further and further from signing clients.

This is something we work on very heavily, actually learning how to build belief in Anything But Average, I teach you how to do that. Now, with this being said, I see something happen even in my mastermind students that is very interesting because of the weight we put on believing, right? We’re like sold, we’re like, yes, I need belief. When my clients and students start to see that they’re not believing, they kind of have like a freak out.

They spazz out about it. They’re like, “Oh my gosh, I’m not believing.” And they see it as this big giant problem. Now, you might be thinking, well, based on what you said, and belief being so important, and what I hear, and what I’m learning from you and people in this industry, of course, it’s a problem if I’m not believing because I need belief to get the result.

But the reality is is that not believing, that’s like a whole mouthful. The reality is that when you aren’t believing it’s not a problem, it’s just a gap you have to close. And the worst thing you can actually do is start spazzing out and freaking out when you notice yourself not believing. Because here’s what happens, you actually start to trick yourself into believing that you are believing because you’re so resistant and afraid of what will happen if you don’t believe, that your brain will start hiding it from you.

And when it hides it from you, then you don’t have the awareness you need of the gap and where to go and how to close it. And so you keep producing the same results. It like tricks you into thinking and tricking yourself, I do believe, and you’re not getting the results. And then you’re spinning out and you’re confused because your brain is convincing you of it.

And it’s kind of hiding, I don’t know if that’s a saying, but like hiding the eight ball from you. It’s like oh, no, the worst thing we can do is not believe so we’re never going to admit to ourselves that we don’t believe. When in fact, that’s the worst thing you can do for your growth and for your results.

I mean, that’s what one of the biggest things required for creating massive transformational results in your own life and in your business and in your client’s lives, is being completely vulnerable and honest about where you’re at. About what you’re thinking, about what you’re believing so that you can see where you are right now and know exactly what needs to change in order to close that gap.

So here’s the truth of it all, here’s the belief I want you guys to take on. Not believing is phase one of learning how to believe. It is a natural part of closing the gap to creating belief and creating the result that you want. Nothing has gone wrong when you’re not believing. It’s just your opportunity.

It would be like if you wanted to learn to run a marathon and you’ve learned how to run two miles, you wouldn’t be like, “Oh my gosh,” I mean, your brain might do this, but like, “I’m running two miles, this is a problem.” Instead of like I’m two miles in and I am getting closer and closer. And here’s what I have to learn how to do. Here’s how I have to train.

Here’s what has to happen so that I can learn how to run. I’m not a runner, guys, I’m about to butcher this and make a fool of myself. But what is it? 23 miles, 23.1 or something to run a marathon.? If you resist it, then you’re not going to do the work you need in order to close that gap.

So the bigger deal you make out of not believing, the more your brain hides it from you, the more you are unaware of what needs to change in order to close that gap. And that doesn’t work. That will not work for you to bring awareness to what needs to change, change it, and create the outcome you want.

So what do you do when you start seeing yourself not believe? And you start to like, spin out and you’re like, “Oh no, this is a problem. I’m not believing, I’m freaking out.” I’m going to walk you guys through four steps, four things you need to do when this happens so that you can be okay with not believing, bring awareness to it, and make changes to create faster results.

Number one, you have to stop making it mean something terrible if you don’t believe. Not believing isn’t a problem. So the first thing I would ask you is how can you make friends with not believing? How could you celebrate it? How could you see it as not a problem?

The more you do this, the more willing you will be to be vulnerable and honest about where you’re truly at. And when you know where you truly are, if I haven’t said it enough, then you know what you need to do to close the gap.

Number two feeds off that, get honest with yourself. Where are you not believing? For example, let’s use signing your first client. Where are you not in total belief that you’re going to sign a client, it’s like 100% done? So done you would bet money on it. Get on this with all of the things that come up and have compassion for why you’re not believing.

The reason why our brain doesn’t want to just believe in something without evidence, without proof is because it’s afraid. It’s trying to protect you, it doesn’t want you to be disappointed. It doesn’t want you to fail. It’s the safer route to your brain to not believe, that’s the only reason this is happening. So, number two, get honest with yourself. Where are you actually, in your belief?

And I always like to put something tangible to it. I do this to my students in Anything But Average all of the time. I’m like, “Okay, now, where’s your belief on a scale from 1 to 10? 10 meaning it’s totally done.” They might give me a number and I might say, “Okay, are you willing to bet money on that?” I don’t actually make you bet money. But are you willing to bet money on that? Because that will automatically show if there is a gap or not and help you be even more honest with yourself.

The third thing you need to do is now that you have the awareness of where you are, your job is to bridge the gap. This is something we work on heavily in the program, figuring out where you’re at and then learning how to bridge where you are and what you believe to where you want to be. If you don’t do that, if you don’t learn how to do that, you will stay exactly where you are.

Your brain will keep believing the same things, you will keep doing the same things, you will keep producing the same result. So you have to bridge the idea, let’s just say your thought is no one’s going to sign up. And the belief you need to be at is like, it’s done, I’m signing a client. You have to bridge the gap in between, how could you get one step closer to believing that a client is going to sign? Again, something we work on heavily inside the program.

And the last thing is you have to ask yourself what you would do, what you would say, how you would show up if you did believe. This is one of the key components, I’m actually going to do an episode on this next week called borrowing from your future self. You can still have guidance and know what to do and what to say and what decisions to make even if you’re not in total belief.

So I’ll give you guys a quick example. Let’s say you’re writing content and you’re writing it from a place of believing nobody wants what you have to offer and you realize it midway through. Maybe you still aren’t there yet, you’re like, “I don’t totally believe yet.” Something you can ask yourself is if I did believe, if it was done and I looked into the future and I signed a client, how would I say this? How would I market this? What wouldn’t I say? What would I say?

That will clearly create marketing and action that reflects the belief you want to have, even if you’re not there yet. This is such a key component because if you keep using your lack of belief against yourself and you’re just like, but I have to close the gap before I can start taking action, you just stay stuck where you are. This process gives you the ability to bring awareness, to bridge the gap, to start to build belief, but then also you build belief by taking the action you would be taking if you did believe.

So the last piece of this is to ask yourself, what would I do, what would I say, what decision would I make if I knew with 100% certainty that this result was going to happen? Now, to follow through on that’s going to be uncomfortable, but that is the direct path to the result. That’s how you will continue to build more belief over time.

So, I want you guys to remember, don’t freak out if you’re not believing. Get honest with yourself, bridge the gap, and take the action and say the thing you would be saying if you knew with 100% certainty was happening.

I love you guys, again, make sure to get on the wait list for Anything But Average, lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage. And I will see you on the inside of that program where I teach you how to become a great coach, how to launch your business and sign clients from the beginning. I love you guys and I will talk to you next week. Bye.

If you’re ready to take this work deeper and create your own coaching business, join us in anything but average where I will walk you through the step by step process to become a coach, start your coaching business, and start signing clients. Go to lindseymangocoaching.com/anythingbutaverage and I will see you on the inside.

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